How do you feel about "legacies" that bleed Green?

[JesseMartin]

I've been thinking about this for a while and was curious how you guys felt about it. I know that a lot of families want their kids to go to their alma mater, and some of you come from "North Texas families". So the big question is...why? I'm the first in my family to get a degree, but I can sort of see how a love of the same University could be a nice tie to share with people you love. On the other hand, my sons aren't me. They have different interests and abilities, different paths, and are more than just an extension of myself. In thinking about their futures, if they have the desire and capability to go to Stanford, or Universite de Paris, or a service academy, I would feel very strange if I tried to steer them back to UNT.

I know it will be their choice anyway, but parents can be a strong force in persuading their children and with us about to start pumping money into the college funds in a couple of years, it's been on my mind quite a bit. I'm not asking you to change my mind or anything, but I'm curious as to what sort of reasoning and discussion goes into a kid going to their parent's school. Sure, there are other factors, like proximity (or the lack thereof) to home, cost, desired major, etc. But for me, the most important issue is to see the boys grow up happy and have chances for the lives they want to lead. North Texas is a wonderful place, and I'd feel comfortable with their choice if they picked the school where their mom and dad attended and fell in love. But I would feel awful if they passed up a huge opportunity just because they wanted to go to "dad's college" if they thought it would make me happy.

What other thoughts do you have on this?

[MDH]

Been discussed a few times on here, general consensus is "whatever makes little Timmy happy". I didn't go to either of my parent's alma maters (Wisconsin, Georgia Tech). All my parents ever said to me was "don't go to Fresno State" (where they taught in my youth, it's a shitty school). I also hope to move away soon so I don't think I'll live here when my unborn kids are in high school, therefore UNT probably won't register on their radar.

I'll probably go back for another degree in a few years, hopefully to a school I'd kill for my kids to get accepted to. I believe you can do almost anything you want no matter the school your diploma shows. I had some great classes from UNT and credit my professors for guiding me towards paths I might not have otherwise found myself on.

Edited December 30, 2013 by MDH

[UNTeagle88]

As long as you have the relationship with your kids to enjoy UNT tradition, i dont see why they would not still love UNT even if they go to a place like Stanford. Plus i work for TAMS and some of the alumni who are currently at Stanford are coming down to the HOD bowl because they love UNT. I have a feeling that UNT Athletics in the future will give alot of people reasons to visit campus, student or because of family.

[TheFranchise]

I think you're on the right path, man. The Mrs. Franchise is a family member in a long line of A&M grads and I'm attempting to be the first in my lineage to graduate from a four year college, so naturally the Mrs. and I have talked a bit about our children (7 y/o an 2 y/o right now) and their educations. Of course, she's bent on them going to A&M, although I'm more thinking along your lines, Jesse.

While I'd love to see both of my children go to UNT like the old man, I understand they may have completely different passions and career goals than I do. I feel more that as long as they talk it out with both of us parents and make decisions that we all believe will be of the best benefit for each of them, respectively, then they're going to do well. Shoot, college may not even be what they need. I mean, they could get an opportunity at a major company right out of high school for all I know.

Having said that, they're both left-handed and pretty active so I could totally see my daughter golfing on scholarship somewhere with a great women's golf program (*cough*GoMeanGreen*cough*) and my son as a speedy left fielder on scholarship at a powerhouse baseball school (*cough*UNTin17years*cough*) but maybe that's just me.

*ishouldreallydosomethingaboutthatcough*

Edited December 31, 2013 by TheFranchise

[oldguystudent]

My kid wants to go to TAMS, and I would absolutely love to see that become reality. We're taking steps to make it so.

My kid absolutely does not want to receive a bachelor's degree from UNT, and I'm fine with that. I don't think it's related to the fact that it's too close to dear old Dad, or that it's not a flashy enough name. I mean, believe me, barring the TAMS route, she is absolutely sold on the utility and economy of community college the first two years, and will not fall victim to the high school junior/senior year crock that one must attend the biggest name school possible freshman year, and that Dad should pay a $25,000 premium for the privilege.

I just don't think that she sees any programs that she's interested in at UNT.

She loves her music, but knows that she won't major in it in college, because mean old Dad insists that if he's going to pay for a degree, it's going to bear the fruits of a high probability of a livable income right off the bat.

She doesn't aspire to be a teacher.

She has told me that since she sees what accounting has done to me, that she absolutely doesn't aspire to follow that path. (Public accounting is going to ultimately cause my untimely demise -- no hyperbole)

At the precipice of the teen years, she seems to lean more towards the whole sciency research kind of stuff, and to be honest, UNT hasn't much impressed me in that arena. It's trying to get better, but it's not there today.

But my kid really wants to go to TAMS. She wants to march in the Mean Green Brigade if TAMS students are allowed to do so. She wants to sit on the student side for football games. To some extent, she'd like a green blood infusion of her very own.

[MDH]

But my kid really wants to go to TAMS.

You've raised a good one then. A guy in my ticket block has a son in TAMS right now, I'll introduce you to him at the game if you're still coherent so you can pick his brain for advice.

[oldguystudent]

You've raised a good one then. A guy in my ticket block has a son in TAMS right now, I'll introduce you to him at the game if you're still coherent so you can pick his brain for advice.

Tomorrow is my only day off and I'll be to work in Fort Worth by 6:30 Thursday morning, so it's not gonna be much of a drinking day. I'm pretty well versed in the program though.

[Mean Green Matt]

I don't believe the "North Texas Families" are a result of parents steering their kids one way or another. The school just becomes such a huge part of your life the desire is there on its own. I'm in my mid-20's and have been going to games since I can remember. In the last 2 and a half decades we've missed maybe 4 or 5 home games. When it is what you are raised with it's in your blood. My parents never told me to go to NT, in fact I was encouraged to look elsewhere. I applied to and was accepted to other schools, all of which offered better scholarship options than NT, but you can't ignore where your heart is.

I'm only a second generation NT grad, but I know some who are 3 and 4 generations. It is exciting to hear stories growing up and then get to make your own memories while being distinctly connected to someplace your parents were in the past. I even had the same history professor my dad had. With my wife being a NT grad as well I can't see us raising our (currently non-existent) children any other way. The importance of "the school" has been debated on here many times. To me at least, NT is more than just where my tuition went, it has shaped my life in a way few things have. I look forward to sharing that with my kids (of which hopefully there is an elite QB or soccer star) .

Edited December 31, 2013 by Mean Green Matt

[JesseMartin]

I like that others think the TAMS route is the way to go. My oldest son wants to be a scientist (and a pilot, an astronaut, and rock star - he's not indecisive, he actually wants to do all of that and I think that's totally fine) and we've already been talking about the possibility of TAMS. That way the kiddos can get a little dose of our alma mater but still have the opportunity to pursue degrees elsewhere, with a good chance at big scholarship money if they do well.

[Mean Green 93-98]

I don't think a parent should steer his children toward his alma mater just because he went there. I don't think a child should choose his parents' alma mater just to make them happy. But if a child has been raised going to UNT sporting events, concerts, etc., it's not that strange that a child would grow to have a special affinity for UNT.

[Green Mean]

One of my brothers' best friend is an Aggie and comes from an all out Aggie family. His dad went to A&M and told all 3 of his sons that they can go to any college they want but if they go to A&M their college will be paid for and if they go somewhere else they have to pay their way. So as expected all 3 ended up being Aggie grads of course.

[MeanGreenTexan]

I think my kids will have an affinity for North Texas forever, even if they don't wind up attending. I wouldn't mind if my kids decided to attend a different school, especially one of academic prestige. However, if any of my kids want to go to school to be a musician, teacher, or RTVF, and don't have a good reason for attending UNT, (like getting into Juliard/Berklee for music or something) then I might be a little disappointed.

[forevereagle]

One of my brothers' best friend is an Aggie and comes from an all out Aggie family. His dad went to A&M and told all 3 of his sons that they can go to any college they want but if they go to A&M their college will be paid for and if they go somewhere else they have to pay their way. So as expected all 3 ended up being Aggie grads of course.

His dad sounds like kind of a dick.

[JesseMartin]

Yeah, and I've heard similar before. It's like "If you cave to me pressuring you, I'll pay for it, but if not, you're on your own." It's like bribing them to suppress individuality. Similarly, my parents said they'd pay for 4 years of room and board a week before I got to Texas and soon after I arrived said they changed their minds. No real reason, just didn't feel like following through on their end. So as a graduation "present" they paid off about 1 year of housing. But my sister got school paid for after failing out 3 times...all it took was 1 good semester. So I'd really like to avoid ending up like that guy's dad or my parents. I'd prefer not to have my kids distrusting me the rest of their lives because I made an arbitrary or selfish decision about their futures.

Edited January 3, 2014 by JesseMartin

[forevereagle]

Yeah, and I've heard similar before. It's like "If you cave to me pressuring you, I'll pay for it, but if not, you're on your own." It's like bribing them to suppress individuality. Similarly, my parents said they'd pay for 4 years of room and board a week before I got to Texas and soon after I arrived said they changed their minds. No real reason, just didn't feel like following through on their end. So as a graduation "present" they paid off about 1 year of housing. But my sister got school paid for after failing out 3 times...all it took was 1 good semester. So I'd really like to avoid ending up like that guy's dad or my parents. I'd prefer not to have my kids distrusting me the rest of their lives because I made an arbitrary or selfish decision about their futures.

We have already begun putting money away for our 2 year old (have been since he was born) and there are no strings attached. My parents paid for my education on the condition that I pay it forward for my children. I will make the same request to my son, though it is completely unenforceable. It doesn't matter where he decides to go, I will pay for it (though TCU, SMU, etc. would make it very tough because I am not made of money).

Similarly, both of my parents went to Nebraska and never made any overtures that I should even consider it. It was my choice to make. I did look briefly at OU, and though I am sure it gave my dad a little heartache, he never discouraged me.

[Green Mean]

His dad sounds like kind of a dick.

Agreed. Tho it might just be me but I really only see a lot of this in Aggie land and much less for other schools. Seems that once you're an Aggie it's all in from there and all about a family thing and carrying the torch for generations.

[TheFranchise]

Agreed. Tho it might just be me but I really only see a lot of this in Aggie land and much less for other schools. Seems that once you're an Aggie it's all in from there and all about a family thing and carrying the torch for generations.

You're right. My wife's family is all-Aggie. And while I love them and totally appreciate a lot of what they have done for us, man, those Aggies are some freakin' weird people.

Not to mention, I went to one of their graduations this past year. Man, they have to have added at LEAST an extra 20 minutes because they yell "Whoop" after everything. I mean come on, it's fun the first 1 or 2 times, but I'd like to get out of here and get a seat at Cheddar's or something!

Don't get me wrong, I admire their school spirit. But I think they put something in the water down in Bryan/College Station because even the residents (non students/alumni) living down there get VERY defensive and VERY protective of a school that really acts pretty ridiculous to an outsider.

And their all-out obsession with the University of Texas is pretty comical. They have major inferiority complexes. They'll likely never play each other in football again, but you'd think they're scheduled to meet next week.

But, maybe it's just because I'm an outsider. Maybe I'm not supposed to get it.

Edited January 8, 2014 by TheFranchise

[THOR]

I live in the area and would prefer that my kids didnt go to north texas (im class of 2000). I want them to go out and experience college and the world...to learn how to live away from home...to not depend on mom/dad...I dont understand legacies...go where you want...enjoy your life as you choose...

[forevereagle]

Agreed. Tho it might just be me but I really only see a lot of this in Aggie land and much less for other schools. Seems that once you're an Aggie it's all in from there and all about a family thing and carrying the torch for generations.

My father in law went to A&M and he did not have the same view on the school. I met my wife at UNT and my sister in law is also a UNT grad. It's not a hard rule, but does seem to occur with greater frequency there.