Hear Me Now, Believe Me Later

[The Fake Lonnie Finch]

Tulsa is not good.

Their problems go beyond losing nine defensive starters to graduation and another to academics.

Their problems go beyond their best receiver breaking his leg.

Their problems go beyond shaky special teams.

Tulsa is a quivering pile of rubber butt putty right now, and they have no one to blame but themselves.

It all began in late 2011 when TU president Steadman Upham (a collegiate president's name if I ever heard one) announced that he'd retire in 2012. And, so, he did...for a while.

In July of 2012, Upham's replacement arrived, an Engineering fellow from the DFW area named Geoffrey Orsak who had done all of his academic work from B.A.to Ph.D. at Rice. He had been the Dean of SMU's School of Engineering. So, it seemed like the perfect fit: A private school guy with a heavy Engineering background to lead a private school known for its Engineering.

Except it wasn't so.

A mere 74 days into his tenure, President Orsak was suddenly fired. And, to this day, neither side has divulged the reason. Orsak has not filed suit. So, TU folk are left to piece together what may have happened based on rumored and innuendo. And, in the day and age of the internet, that means alcohol or affairs. Sometimes both. And, because neither side will speak of the firing, conjucture will have to do.

Orsak was briefly replaced by a TU execituve type named Kevan Buck. Buck was only an interim, though, and was borne of parents who could even spell "Kevin" correctly. Hence, Upham returned to the presidency in October of 2012, roughly about 90 days after retiring from the post.

Coincidentally, TU's zen athletic director Bubba Cunningham was plucked away by the University of North Carolina the same month Upham announced he was retire. In January of 2012, a "man" named Ross Parmley was named interim athletic director.

A say "man" because he is a man only because he allegedly has a penis. Although, you might believe otherwise when you realize that he was gold-frost/tipping his hair in his late-to-mid 30s like some run-of-the-mill uptown Dallas douche queef.

Anyway, with all of the upheaval of the presidential retirement and the departure of AD Bubba, no one bothered much with due diligence. They missed that Parmley was a regular gambler, which is generally frowned upon in the sports world...even though every one of the football talking heads you see will eventually bring up "The Line" and whether or not this team or that will "cover" it from week to week.

So, in additional to being King of Gold-Tipped Douche Queefs, Parmley was also a ramblin' gamblin' man. He was fired in December of 2012.

No matter how you slice it mathematically, he was on the job longer than the perhaps drunken philanderer Orsak. (Again, we don't know whether Orsak was drunk or philandering. We just know the rumors are out there and no one is saying - or suing - anything on either side.)

The overarching problem for the Tulsa athletic department is that during all of this Upheaval On 11th Street, the college football landscape was beginning to rumble again. As is his way, C-USA Commissioner Britton Banowsy had fallen asleep at the wheel (again) and allowed a dying conference - The Big East - to steal his most valuable programs.

Banowsky awoke just in time to replace them with start-ups and Sun Belt escapees. But, Tulsa, in the throes of presidential and athletic director shenanigan chaos, got left out of the 2013 C-USExodus.

They will exit the conference in 2014, but they will have been knocked down a peg by the time they get to the AAC. Whatever momentum the tiny, quirky, private school had with its football program is rapidly halting.

I'd feel sorry for my second alma mater...except for the fact that they brought it all on themselves by:

(1) Not doing enough due dilligence in hiring a new athletic director and having to fire one within a year of hiring him

(2) Having some unexplained and unrevealed event or events capsize their perfect presidential hire in the middle of the wrong AD hire's short tenure, and
(3) - and I'll say, perhaps worst of all - trusting Britton Banowsky to have their backs.

When you add everything together, it adds up to this:

A. Tulsa will suck like a starving whelp in football this year (and, probably basketball as well)
B. North Texas will be able to finally beat them for the first time since the year I was born...1969.

GO MEAN GREEN!

Edited September 27, 2013 by The Fake Lonnie Finch

[Mean Green 93-98]

You ought to teach creative writing at UNT.

[Christopher Walker]

This, again, is why I think our Texas home-stretch late int he season will have more bearing on the title of CUSA West Champion then our match-up with Tulsa.

[golfingomez]

tell us how you REALLY feel about the situation though... don't hold back this time

[THOR]

never seen the word queef spelled out before...huh...

[Censored by Laurie]

You ought to teach creative writing at UNT.

No. oh my...just...no.

[The Fake Lonnie Finch]

You ought to teach creative writing at UNT.

Thank you. My degree from UNT is in English. And, I took Creative Writing while earning it. I made a B.

Have the Department Head PM me. I am available weeknights Monday. Wednesday, and Thursday. I request $1,000 per semster in pay to cover gas and Pepsi expenses between Denton and Frisco.

I write haiku for free. Just throw your topic out to me. I am your haiku lifeline.

[The Fake Lonnie Finch]

Oh, and, Tulsa still sucks and has no one to blame but themselves. This is 2013 Tulsa, not 2012 Tulsa.

[EagleGreen]

Another round of 5-7-5?

[LongJim]

Plumm?

[ragpicker]

I thought Tulsa looked pretty good last night barring crucial fumbles. I was at the '69 game and, yes, I would love to beat hem this year, but it will not be easy.

[greenjoe]

I sure wish they'd re-consider their decision to move to the American Airlines Conference. Tulsa is a really great city.

GO MEAN GREEN

[KRAM1]

I sure wish they'd re-consider their decision to move to the American Airlines Conference. Tulsa is a really great city.

GO MEAN GREEN

Don't know about that "great city" part, but agree...wish Tulsa had stayed with CUSA. I think they will come to wish that as well. That AAC thing looks like a disaster waiting to happen, but doesn't matter. Just wish Tulsa would have stayed. Easy commute and school folks gave at least heard of...unlike several of out old Sunbelt foes.

[PlummMeanGreen]

TFLF, I will believe that we beat Tulsa when I see it in 3 inch headlines in the Denton Record-Chronicle or the Dallas Morning News.

You were born in 1969? Well, I was graduating from HS that same May but North Texas last win against Tulsa many of us older alums saw in an ABC TV Regional Game of the Week. That broadcast in itself was a minor miracle because the SWC pretty well had a hold on that weekly time slot. (As always I stand to be corrected, but you who were around during the Mean Joe Greene era would you confirm that we had at least 2 of our games televised by ABC TV back then)?

If you would have mentioned most of the Sun Belt and even some CUSA schools back in 1969 many of us would have said: " Huh? Never heard of em'." Well, many for darn sure knew about the North Texas Mean Green during that era and the era after that one before we went into brain freeze mode on behalf of our then UNT leadership. It's been quite a wilderness journey of which many reading this post know exactly what I'm talking about with that.

Best part of present day is I feel with all our pieces of the puzzle finally in place (with Apogee at the top of that list) I feel we will now go further in the NCAA than this program ever has. I really sincerely believe that.

GMG!

Edited September 28, 2013 by PlummMeanGreen

[NM Green]

Tulsa is beatable this year and yes Tulsa is a pretty cool town. It was more interesting than I ever thought it was going to be and it will be fun roadie.

The crazy thing is that the AAC is getting a couple of programs on the weird next year. Tulsa and Tulane while solid in reputation have hit some interesting patches. You could say the same thing about whatever the heck is happening out at FIU too.

Either way the time to strike is now for CUSA. The AAC is really going to be a collection of average programs. The MWC used to look stout but Boise is singing the blues these days and the MWC looks marginal. The SBC actually looks fairly stout and CUSA looks like everyone else right now. IT is there for the taking. The non-bcs conferences are clamoring for a leader and CUSA needs to win out of conference and get some poll representation too. La Tech did it recently. Fresno is doing it now. CUSA can become the premier non-bcs league with some solid performances in the next 18 months.

GMG