College Football Laughs

[DeepGreen]

Some are old and corny as hell, buy hey, it's football season!

Ohio State 's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."

Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.

What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?
Drool.

How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That's a sophomore course.

How did the Auburn football player die from drinking milk?
The cow fell on him.

Two Texas A&M football players were walking in the woods.
One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."
The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"

A University of Cincinnati football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident.
He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death.
Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.

What do you say to a Michigan State University football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "
"Will the defendant please rise."

If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?
The police officer.

How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?
There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.

What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
A full set of teeth.

University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress themselves.

How is the Indiana football team like an opossum? They play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?
He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.

How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.