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Let's bake some cookies

emmitt01

By emmitt01
in Mean Green Basketball

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emmitt01 Grand Master

emmitt01

Posted
Posted (edited)

I'm absolutely amazed that we still have people who honestly believe that it is logical to blame 18-20 year olds who have PLAYED AT A HIGH LEVEL THEIR ENTIRE BASKETBALL CAREER UNTIL THIS SEASON.

But, since I'm a big proponent of education and allowing people to see things from a different view at time, let's bake some cookies. (KRAM, step away from the keyboard...I know you want to chime in right here)

Now, for the first ten years we're gonna bake our cookies with the following ingredients:

Eggs

Flour

Sugar

Butter

Vanilla Extract

Chocolate Chips

Walnuts

Pretty decent cookies.

Now, let's make a slight change to our cookie recipe. Now let's bake our cookies with:

Eggs

Flour

Sugar

Butter

Vanilla Extract

Chocolate Chips

Motor Oil

Some of you, inexplicably, would honestly tell me (and more importantly, the people who DON'T buy tickets out of love for NT) that the reason their cookies taste like fermented ass is BECAUSE OF THE F'ING BUTTER, SUGAR OR EGGS!!???

Anything not to blame the motor oil or the chef who threw it into the mix, huh?

Edited by emmitt01
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Greendylan Rising Star

Greendylan

Posted
Posted

I think the coach sucks and some of the players have not shown much as a result. I would still expect more from a 'lottery' pick than games against crap teams with single-digit shots.

You're absolutely right, but then again did we often accuse our "lottery pick" of needing to give more last year when he had a different coach motivating him? What about when he was on Team USA? What about the NBA camps he attended? He is responsible for his effort, but it doesn't seem like this was necessarily a common theme until this coach and this season.

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MeanGreenTexan Grand Master

MeanGreenTexan

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I dunno Emmitt. Upon first glance, that recipe doesn't look so bad. I mean, those cookies were a smash at Marquette's banquet last year. Everyone loved them.

And we had some great eggs and chocolate chips returning from last year's cookies, so I think they could work...

... :huh: ...

... Oh, I see what you did there...

DO NOT EAT THESE COOKIES!!

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Greendylan Rising Star

Greendylan

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Posted

So, last year our bakery used only the finest walnuts. However, that particular brand of walnuts is no longer available. Instead of ordering a five year supply of a different brand of walnuts, our head baker accidentally ordered a five year supply of motor oil. Now that all the regulars of our bakery have been vomiting and vowing never to return, we have realized that motor oil is not now nor will ever be an acceptable substitute for walnuts. Regardless, we are stuck using motor oil for years to come even though we all know it is poisonous. Apparently, we are one of the poorest bakeries in our city and we spent every last cent we could scrounge up on the motor oil. Now the chocolate chip and flour distributors will also likely stop servicing our bakery because they don't want to be associated with the sickness and health code violations resulting from our cookies. I guess we just have to give up on cookies for the next decade or more until we run out of motor oil and the public forgets about how dangerous and disgusting our products have become. To keep our bakery in business, we really need to hope that our bread starts to improve. It hasn't sold well since 2004!

That sad part is that prior to the motor oil incident our cookies were often finalists in our annual neighborhood baking contest.

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Stan R Collaborator

Stan R

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Posted

So, last year our bakery used only the finest walnuts. However, that particular brand of walnuts is no longer available. Instead of ordering a five year supply of a different brand of walnuts, our head baker accidentally ordered a five year supply of motor oil. Now that all the regulars of our bakery have been vomiting and vowing never to return, we have realized that motor oil is not now nor will ever be an acceptable substitute for walnuts. Regardless, we are stuck using motor oil for years to come even though we all know it is poisonous. Apparently, we are one of the poorest bakeries in our city and we spent every last cent we could scrounge up on the motor oil. Now the chocolate chip and flour distributors will also likely stop servicing our bakery because they don't want to be associated with the sickness and health code violations resulting from our cookies. I guess we just have to give up on cookies for the next decade or more until we run out of motor oil and the public forgets about how dangerous and disgusting our products have become. To keep our bakery in business, we really need to hope that our bread starts to improve. It hasn't sold well since 2004!

That sad part is that prior to the motor oil incident our cookies were often finalists in our annual neighborhood baking contest.

Hilarious. Sad part is this is the actual reality of the situation once you decipher all the metaphors here.

So, if you are an AD in charge of hiring the baker, and there was a chance that your baker could make motor oil cookies for the next 5 years, you would think long and hard about (prudent) overspending on a decent, proven baker right? Especially given the fact that:

1.) You already under-spent hired a high school cafeteria expert to work at your 5-star hotel and he gave food poisoning to 4 out of 10 customers for the 3-4 years of his tenure. That guy burned your hotel bad for years to come.

2.) You ALSO already under-spent on your pastries chef who managed to think that melamine was a terrific additive to replace the cumbersome food coloring that needed to be added to the pastries. This lady had to be let go, based on your choice as well.

Maybe the hiring manager is the problem here?

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