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Have to Miss the Home Opener

yyz28

By yyz28
in Mean Green Football

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yyz28 Enthusiast

yyz28

Posted
Posted

Well, it has been planned for a while, but I guess it wasn't until I was updating my calendar this week that I figured out that my Sister-In-Law's wedding (which I am in) is the evening of September 10th.

...so, how do I get out of my Wife's Sister's wedding so I can come to the game without getting divorced. Any ideas?

Crap.

EagleMBA Newbie

EagleMBA

Posted
Posted

You can always find another wife, but there will never be another opening game at Apogee Stadium.

THIS !!

ADLER Grand Master

ADLER

Posted
Posted

Fake a kidnapping. Duh.

Not good, too much police involvement.

Seriously, this is a very important family occasion and extremely important to the couple that so lovingly scheduled it during football season. The only way you're really going to get relieved from this obligation is by feigning extreme illness; something between common cold and death, something serious enough that you have to stay home, but not so serious that your wife feels she needs to stay home with you. A good low grade fever, excessive coughing, and a faked upper respiratory infection should do the trick. The hangover and the horse voice will only make the facade more believable when she returns on Sunday. In the immortal words of Sam Kinison, "Lie! Lies are what keep couples together!" That, and licking the alphabet.

Green Crazy Mentor

Green Crazy

Posted
Posted

Take your soon to be brother-in-law to a plethora of nudie bars where you consume many shots of tequila and many beers. Once he "boots" you start taking pictures with the staff. Then you put in a call to Emmitt or another one of the boards fine policemen to escort you home, in handcuffs.

Hopefully, this just delays the wedding and allows you to attend the game. If this doesn't work then you're f'd.

  • Upvote 1
mcc0037 Newbie

mcc0037

Posted
Posted

I feel your absolute pain about missing the Mean Green football "once in a lifetime" kickoff home opener in a brand spanking new stadium with the electric feel of rejuvenating aura but my situation is a different scenario. Disappointing myself to the obligation indeed...

Rudy Grand Master

Rudy

Posted
Posted (edited)

Tell her you have to take the BAR exam. If that doesn't work, tell her you're in jail. I have some spare booking forms and vehicle impound forms if they want proof.

Edited by Rudy
emmitt01 Grand Master

emmitt01

Posted
Posted

Wait...lemme get this straight. You actually married someone who doesn't understand the magnitude of this landmark? Your wife actually entertains the thought that anything short of the birth of your child or Jesus descending from heaven could keep you away? Your problem is way deeper than a wedding. I'm gonna go kiss my wife now.

  • Upvote 1

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