Have to Miss the Home Opener

[yyz28]

Well, it has been planned for a while, but I guess it wasn't until I was updating my calendar this week that I figured out that my Sister-In-Law's wedding (which I am in) is the evening of September 10th.

...so, how do I get out of my Wife's Sister's wedding so I can come to the game without getting divorced. Any ideas?

Crap.

[good_ken]

See if one of the gmg.com members will plow your wife's sister. That should do the trick....no more wedding.

[Green Mean]

Scene control

[NCMeanGreen]

Forget it...not worth it...just give me the tickets...please...

[Wookies]

You can always find another wife, but there will never be another opening game at Apogee Stadium.

[EagleMBA]

You can always find another wife, but there will never be another opening game at Apogee Stadium.

THIS !!

[All About UNT]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZ0s0khyKJk

[Mean Green 93-98]

...so, how do I get out of my Wife's Sister's wedding so I can come to the game without getting divorced.

You came to the wrong board if you expect any advice to take that last part into consideration.

[Green P1]

Fake a kidnapping. Duh.

[ADLER]

Fake a kidnapping. Duh.

Not good, too much police involvement.

Seriously, this is a very important family occasion and extremely important to the couple that so lovingly scheduled it during football season. The only way you're really going to get relieved from this obligation is by feigning extreme illness; something between common cold and death, something serious enough that you have to stay home, but not so serious that your wife feels she needs to stay home with you. A good low grade fever, excessive coughing, and a faked upper respiratory infection should do the trick. The hangover and the horse voice will only make the facade more believable when she returns on Sunday. In the immortal words of Sam Kinison, "Lie! Lies are what keep couples together!" That, and licking the alphabet.

[All About UNT]

is the wedding in DFW or out of town?

[Green Crazy]

Take your soon to be brother-in-law to a plethora of nudie bars where you consume many shots of tequila and many beers. Once he "boots" you start taking pictures with the staff. Then you put in a call to Emmitt or another one of the boards fine policemen to escort you home, in handcuffs.

Hopefully, this just delays the wedding and allows you to attend the game. If this doesn't work then you're f'd.

[mcc0037]

I feel your absolute pain about missing the Mean Green football "once in a lifetime" kickoff home opener in a brand spanking new stadium with the electric feel of rejuvenating aura but my situation is a different scenario. Disappointing myself to the obligation indeed...

[Censored by Laurie]

Have you tried growing a sack?

[yyz28]

I tried that... But having to deal with family strife for years vs. "manning up" hardly seems worth it.

[Censored by Laurie]

I tried that... But having to deal with family strife for years vs. "manning up" hardly seems worth it.

But it's manning up + a guaranteed once in a lifetime event. You do realize nearly 50% of marriages end in divorce, right?

[Rudy]

Tell her you have to take the BAR exam. If that doesn't work, tell her you're in jail. I have some spare booking forms and vehicle impound forms if they want proof.

Edited August 13, 2011 by Rudy

[emmitt01]

Wait...lemme get this straight. You actually married someone who doesn't understand the magnitude of this landmark? Your wife actually entertains the thought that anything short of the birth of your child or Jesus descending from heaven could keep you away? Your problem is way deeper than a wedding. I'm gonna go kiss my wife now.