When A Iowa Hawkeye Pushed Mac For Gator Hfc

PlummMeanGreen · November 23, 2010

http://www.blackheartgoldpants.com/2009/12/27/1220569/urban-meyer-resigns-from-florida

Just More Perspective On Dan McCarney: Hayden Fry Has Always Been Sold On McCarney Who Was The Only Hawkeye Asst. Coach He Retained When He Left North Texas For Iowa

Telling Information on McCarney from a Iowa Hawkeye Fan: Decide For Yourself...

Urban Meyer Resigns From Florida; May We Suggest A Replacement? by Adam Jacobi on Dec 27, 2009 1:40 AM CST in Iowa Hawkeyes Football

Sports fans nationwide have undoubtedly already heard the shocking news about Urban Meyer: the Florida head coach announced this evening that he would be stepping down from the Gators after their bowl game. Meyer, who is only 45 years old, cited health concerns after years of chest pains--the latest episode coming after the SEC Championship Game:

The night that Florida lost to Alabama in the Southeastern Conference title game, Florida Coach Urban Meyer awoke in the middle of the night with severe chest pains.

He had suffered from severe chest pains the past two years, but this time was different. He lost consciousness, went to a hospital in an ambulance and underwent more than nine hours of testing.

That night was the tipping point for Meyer, 45, who stunned the college football world Saturday by announcing that he was stepping down from coaching.

"There was no heart damage," Meyer said. "But I didnt want there to be a bad day where there were three kids sitting around wondering what to do next. It was the pattern of what I was doing and how I was doing it. It was self-destructive."

You'll really want to read the entire article linked above, written by Pete Thamel for the New York Times. Urban Meyer's quotes are both open and personal, the type told by a man who genuinely believes he has just saved his own life.

Thus, though it completely sucks for Florida fans that such a fine coach is calling it quits so soon, they can at least turn their attention to a replacement without heavy hearts or guilt over insufficient mourning; Meyer is alive and well, after all, and even if he never coaches another game he's been so handsomely compensated that money ought never be an issue. Gator fans may just issue him the heartiest of Thank Yous, embrace him as men do, and then let him just be a father as they go about their business.

And that's where Black Heart Gold Consulting would like to come in and help.

The first issue Florida must address is the nature of the departure. This is one of the very rare instances where a coach leaves a program without said program facing any immediate major problems. Florida's on-field productivity is nigh unimpeachable, the institution isn't facing any NCAA penalties, and he's not even stripping the assistant cupboard for his new move.

Thus, there's really no necessity in cleaning house or otherwise unnecessarily creating turmoil. Save recently departed DC Charlie Strong, the framework's still all there. Hiring from within, then, is the natural first choice.

The aforementioned Strong was the most likely head coaching candidate on Meyer's staff; unfortunately, Louisville realized that first, and it would take large amounts of superdickish legal-fu to get him out of the Louisville contract. No unnecessary turmoil, remember. Florida's offensive coordinator is Addazio, whose performance this season prompted one Orson Swindle to tweet this just the other day:

ADDAZIO WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY YOU HOPELESS TWIT WHY. That is all. #airingofgrievances

Yes, we feel hiring him would not be the finest, least outrageous of moves.

No, there really is only one answer here:

DAN THE MAN, BITCHES.

Yes: Florida should hire Dan McCarney as Urban Meyer's replacement.

Program ties? Check: McCarney is an assistant head coach and defensive line coach at Florida, and they don't give the "assistant head coach" title to just anybody. Abe Lincoln was never an assistant head coach, and he was one of America's greatest presidents. Ergo, Dan McCarney is better than Abe Lincoln.

Experience? Check: McCarney was the head coach during Iowa State's most prolific stretch in program history, and his team record of two bowl wins may never be equaled. Seriously, it's like Johnny Vander Meer throwing two consecutive no-hitters. It's just never ever supposed to happen. Multiple bowl wins, people! That's good enough for ISU, and it should be good enough for Florida.

Moxie? Check: McCarney is a fiery presence on the sideline, something that has always translated well to his players. Rest assured that with McCarney at the helm, Florida will always beat their fiercest rival*.

Recruiting? Check: McCarney is as revered as any collegiate figure in central Iowa, even so many years after his departure from ISU. Why, as a high school senior in the Des Moines area, I was terrible at both football and academics. And STILL, both my coach and academic advisor kept telling me, "Go to D-Mac, go to D-Mac." I told my parents and they said something about a community college. Whatever.

There you go. Nobody else has these qualifications. Oh, Bob Stoops won a title? Yeah, but that was with Oklahoma. Dan McCarney won an Insight Bowl with Iowa State, and that is as likely as convincing Natalie Portman to give a hobo a blow job. Dan McCarney, people. Make it happen now. Black Heart Gold Consulting has spoken, and now we demand our customary 6% of the contract as a headhunters' fee. Hey, we gotta make money too.

(Oh, and seriously: may this be the last serious health problem Urban faces until his children are old and gray. Life's short enough as it is. Go read EDSBS' farewell. Go go go. And then go tell Florida to hire Dan McCarney.

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http://wesleyvaclav.blogspot.com/2010/10/minnesota-should-hire-dan-mccarney.html

OK, a blog perspective but doesn't Vito have a blog, too?

Minnesota Should Hire Dan McCarney

By Ron Maly

Minnesota is looking for a new football coach, and it's my feeling that Dan McCarney is the guy who could lead the Gophers out of the wilderness. McCarney, of course, is no stranger to bringing football programs back from the dead. He was an assistant coach for 13 years at Iowa--including 11 when Hayden Fry brought the magic back to Iowa City after four previous coaches had helped produce 19 straight non-winning seasons. McCarney thought he might be risking his coaching career when he accepted the head coaching job at Iowa State prior to the 1995 season, but all he did there was take the Cyclones to five bowl games while becoming the school's winningest coach. When I interviewed him recently while hosting a 2-hour sports-talk radio show on KXNO-AM in Des Moines, I told McCarney it was one of the biggest miscarriages of justice in the history of collegiate football when he was dismissed at Iowa State. I'm certain that if he were still in Ames, he'd still be winning. Now McCarney is the assistant head coach and defensive line coach at Florida, which is having a down season with a 4-3 overall record and a 2-3 mark in the Southeastern Conference. McCarney is 57 years of age now, and some might think he's too old to revive a program like Minnesota's. But I don't. Mac has the energy, the recruiting know-how and the knowledge of X's and O's to get the job done at Minnesota. I hope he gets an interview and I hope he gets the job. He'd be an excellent fit with the Gophers. He knows the Big Ten, he knows Minnesota. One thing I worry about is that Joel Maturi, Minnesota's athletic director, doesn't recognize a good football coach when he sees one. He's the guy who hired Tim Brewster 3 1/2 years ago for the job. Brewster had never been a head coach, and he showed it with his 15-30 record with the Gophers. Maturi finally pulled the plug on Brewster Sunday after six straight losses this season--including one to South Dakota, another to Northern Illinois. The last time I paid much attention to Brewster was at the end of the 2008 season when I was watching his team play Iowa in the Metrodome at Minneapolis. It was the Gophers' final game in the dome, and they were so revved up for it that Kirk Ferentz and the Hawkeyes clobbered them, 55-0. A couple of Hawkeye fans got so bored with the football that they were cited for having sex in a restroom at the Metrodome that night. Nothing like Hawkeye fans to keep things interesting. A strange thing [but not quite as strange as the Iowans who were doing it in a bathroom stall] was that Maturi didn't have enough sense to fire Brewster after that game. Something that's certain is that if Maturi doesn't hire the right football coach this time, he'll be fired. My advice to him: Place a phone call to McCarney right now. He's your guy, and he'll save your job.

Edited November 23, 2010 by PlummMeanGreen