Post Your Head Coaching Bio Here

[meanJewGreen]

Name: Adam Rosenfield

Age: old enough to drink young enough to be ineligible for a rental car

Why I'd be a great head coach:

I'm good with kids

ladies somewhat love me

My illgitamite kid does not play football, he's a mathlete

My assistants will be older than me

My NCAA 2009 record is impeccable

My people always make good decisions

Why I'd be a terrible head coach:

I created all my players on NCAA 2009

I'd get lost on the recruiting trail

On saturdays at 3 pm in the fall I'm not gameplanning, I'm tailgating

Expected compensation: 45k+ comped drinks at Lou's plus free food every Friday

Who's next?

[UNTFan23]

This has potential ...

[PlummMeanGreen]

I'd have some great half time Texas history tales or vignettes to talk to my team about. And then after the traditional prayer for God to suddenly become a Mean Green fan we'd head out the tunnel back for the 2'nd half thundering and tripping all over the place like blundering idiots & spastics! I think that scene alone would scare some teams enough to forfeit the rest of the game to give us the easy win.

Pay? Buy me annual dues to Billboard Magazine, Texas Music and a lifetime membership to sweet Norah Jones fan club. I'd be real happy and obliged for that.

Rick V & hiring committee, I would request we have our interview on top of Commanche Peak (not the nuclear one) near Granbury if that's OK with you and the rest. I'll show you all how I can find arrowheads in a most uncanny sorta' way. This would also serve as a hint as to how I'd find those Texas HS recruiting nuggetts out there that no one else would be able to detect. We'd be on our way.

Offense: A mix between the Wishbone and Houston Veer. I need just the right kind of QB to run it, too.

Yes, I want this job.

GMG!

Edited October 18, 2010 by PlummMeanGreen

[shaft]

Name: Play Station

Age: 12

Why I'd be a great Head Coach: I'm pre-loaded with simple three options plays the players are experienced with

Experience: On NCAA 2004 I was able to get UNT into the Big 12 in dynasty mode

Price: Every member of the team already as one

[Primo]

Name: Dean Martinez

Age: at the start of the slow crawl to midlife crisis

Why I'd be a great head coach:

I can show the kids with some fancy Mexican freestyle wrestling moves

I can wow las senoritas with some fancy Mexican freestyle wrestling moves

I make a mean margarita for the post game press conference

Mariachi Half time

I can recruit Northside, Oak Cliff, Pleasant Grove, Rio Grand Valley, Coahuila, Tamaulipas, and San Luis Potosi

Fresh tortillas!

Why I'd be a terrible head coach:

fancy Mexican freestyle wrestling moves may not go over to well in Denton

My ongoing feud with Jerry Luis may be considered a distraction too great to overcome

Immigration issues with recruits

Mariachi Half time

Expected compensation: 75k, Chevy Pickup, amnesty, and fajitas

[eulessismore]

Name: Dean Martinez

Age: at the start of the slow crawl to midlife crisis

Why I'd be a great head coach:

I can show the kids with some fancy Mexican freestyle wrestling moves

I can wow las senoritas with some fancy Mexican freestyle wrestling moves

I make a mean margarita for the post game press conference

Mariachi Half time

I can recruit Northside, Oak Cliff, Pleasant Grove, Rio Grand Valley, Coahuila, Tamaulipas, and San Luis Potosi

Fresh tortillas!

Why I'd be a terrible head coach:

fancy Mexican freestyle wrestling moves may not go over to well in Denton

My ongoing feud with Jerry Luis may be considered a distraction too great to overcome

Immigration issues with recruits

Mariachi Half time

Expected compensation: 75k, Chevy Pickup, amnesty, and fajitas

+1, but I'd like to know who Jerry Luis is.

[Side Show Joe]

Side Show Joe

Age: 37 in a few days

Why I'd be a good coach:

I'm the current "Teacher of the Year" at my school. That means I'm good with kids. I coached the Chi Omega girls to the Sorority Championship Game twice at MSU. That was lots of fun... Lots. As a player, I never played on a losing team, and I'm going all the way back to pee wee. North Dallas 40 is still my favorite football movie. Necessary Roughness is second. I hate the prevent defense. I'd run out on to the field waving the big North Texas Battle Flag before every game. I'd put speakers in the visitor's locker room at the new stadium, and hook it up so when the lights are on "Tip Toe Through the Tulips", plays very loud on a continuous loop. I'm old school. That means I played back when coaches hit players. Not that I would. At practice coaches would gives us some water with our dirt during our water break, and run us 'til we were gasping for air, call us into a huddle, and then the coaches would fart. That's the kind of toughness I'd demand of players. I'd be a tough coach. Yeah, that's it.

Why I'd be a bad coach:

Aside from the wonderful experience of coaching sorority girls, I've never done any real coaching. I use profanity that would make Gary DeLoach blush. I'd publicly bad-mouth recruits that turn us down, and the programs they went to. I'd drink too much at the Monday radio show from the Pourhouse. I'd call the local radio shows, T.V. news, and newspapers, and complain about their coverage of North Texas athletics. I'd guarantee wins, even if I didn't think we had a chance of winning. I'd bet on our games. I'm a gambling man like Pete Rose.

Compensation: Whatever they are paying Dodge. I'd take less, but I need some scratch to bet with.

[oldguystudent]

Name: oldguystudent

Age: Too old to get serious interviews at public accounting firms, too young to rub shoulders with the truly elite

Why I'd be a great head coach:

I have never played football or attended a school at any level that fielded a team. I therefore am not stuck in a rut of strategy and totally open to suggestions from the fine folk in Section E.

While kids love me, it makes parents really nervous to see me around them. This keeps the kids focused, the parents out of the mix, and the Denton Chuck E. Cheese empty.

I'm an accountant. I can count the seconds on the game clock really well.

In the same vein, I know that a field goal does not erase a 4 point deficit.

I can keep the Pour House in business when it's not game day or radio show day.

I taught college ESL for like nine years. I'm totally a groovy communicator.

Four school sweaters, a bunch of pennants, some of those beer mugs, a few of these fuzz balls you cheer with and...Hey, folks! It's on me! Pie for everyone!

Why I'd be a terrible head coach:

I like to take at least every other Saturday off.

Instead of saying the players graded out well, I would state that the balance sheet was off.

I would probably miss kickoff because I'd be in the parking lot stealing John Denver's home brew and bacon explosion.

I have absolutely no connections in Texas and probably never will.

I am severely colorblind, and would likely be unable to see the players in green jerseys on green grass.

I would lobby year after year for a home and home with UC Irvine in hopes of ensuring my space in the hall of fame.

Expected compensation: Immediate forgiveness of student loans, a new set of tires, and a gift card to the Pizza Inn.

[The Fake Lonnie Finch]

Name: Fake Lonnie to you, Kevin to those who know me best (and worst)

Coaching experience:

None, unless you count intramural flag football

Age: I was born in the Summer of '69, the Dawning of the Age of Aquarius, just a few weeks before the moon landing, Woodstock, and the Miracle Mets!

Why I'd be a great hire:

-I'd be like Barry Switzer and Mack Brown...I'd physically be there, but the assistants would be doing the work.

-I love Florida and would recruit it on my own dime...in between visits to the beach.

-Everything except buying the Pepsi to stock my office mini-fridge would be delegated...no Diet Coke boy wandering around the complex.

-I'd be honest after every loss, beginning post game interviews with some version of "Well, we f*cked that thing up royally tonight, didn't we?"

-I'd give the offensive coordinator full control of the offense and the defensive coordinator full control of the defense...crazy, right?

-I speak the Spanish well enough to recruit kickers straight out of Mexico, giving the squad an international flavor and following...possibly a television deal with Telemundo.

Why I'd be a bad hire:

-I'd want to wear a button down shirt and tie like Landry and Paterno...no cheesy, brand-driven, annually-changing sideline wear for me.

-I like billboard advertising.

-I would demand a darker, football team-only shade of green for the uniforms and helmets.

-I like a snack during games and might miss a play or two per game running down the hot dog vendor...which would be fine because the assistants would be calling the plays anyway.

-At sporting events, my wife is very enthusiastic - some would say, overly so. She'd be calling me an idiot louder than most of the other fans around her. And, who would know better than her? No one. After years of marriage, I can vouch for this - no one.

Expected compensation: $7k per month, plus a year's supply of butter pecan ice cream; an all expenses paid trip to Chuck E. Cheese's if we win the Belt; four family passes to Six Flags if we win the national title.

[jtm0097]

Name: Jared M.

Coaching experience: Led the 6th grade Jefferson Bulldogs Pee Wee team to the super bowl(I got a plaque for it)

Age: I cant rent a car, but I can drink beer.

Why Id be a great hire: I took UNT to a National Chamiponship 3 years in a row on NCAA09 for Xbox. I also use to yell a lot when I was on the field.

Why Id be a bad hire: I have an agression problem, I would probably get kicked out of the game. My role model is Kenny F'n Powers.

Expected Compensation: Pay off the rest of my loans to UNT, Give me a free house, unlimited drinks/food to any bar/grill in Denton.

[glick1980]

Name: Play Station

Age: 12

Why I'd be a great Head Coach: I'm pre-loaded with simple three options plays the players are experienced with

Experience: On NCAA 2004 I was able to get UNT into the Big 12 in dynasty mode

Price: Every member of the team already as one

I like this one, you can turn injuries off on a playstation....

[Eagle1855]

Name(s):

Eagle1855, Dan Diego, Wayward Texan, The Funniest Guy at the Office, Brant Lee

Coaching Experience:

I'm engaged to a girl that used to be a softball coach so I guess you could say I've been "in" the business for a little while now.

Age:

Backside of twenty with no will to climb.

Why I'd be a great hire:

I have great hair and I'm tall.

I understand people. I'm a people person. People like me.

I can verb nouns with ease.

I believe in John Wayne, Johnny Cash, and Mike Ditka.

Defense makes my pants go crazy.

I have a PhD in Keeping It Real

I can shotgun a beer faster than you.

Why I'm better left to real estate-ing, free lancing, day-laboring, bartending, and songwriting:

My football career started and ended playing Safety in fourth grade, which as far as I can tell is the "right field" of youth football.

As with most things in my mind, I'm probably better in theory than in reality.

My standalone mustache-growing ability leaves much to be desired.

I can shotgun a beer faster than you.

Expected compensation:

A handle of Jack following each win

Unlimited guacamole

A Gibson J-45

1972 Chevy C-10

(2) lifetime passes to UNT Women's Soccer games.

[LongJim]

+1, but I'd like to know who Jerry Luis is.

"Dean Martinez'" partner. Ese...

[McKinneyMiner]

Name: Jeffrey R Georges

Age: 42, but I feel older

Why I'd be a great head coach:

I'm very wishy washy so I can play fans and administrators against one another with the best of them

Football is my 3rd language behind English and Esperanto

My 11 year old plays football and he thinks I am "the best coach ever" even though I am not his coach

Last season I personally willed UTEP to a victory over Houston

Why I'd be a terrible head coach:

My attention span ain't that great

Sometimes I enjoy game day experience too much when I should be focusing on wins

In 1976 or so I fell in love with USC's "Student Body Right" play and I'm not sure I would ever call anything else...

Coaching Experience:

Head Coach University of North Texas Billiard Team 1990-1991

Assistant Coach McKinney Yellow Jackets Youth Football 2009 (unrecognized and unappreciated)

Expected Compensation:

I have been "had" on the campus of UNT for a lot less than TD is making, so I am very flexible

I look forward to your call Rick...

[meanJewGreen]

everyone now is the time to get your resumes in to rick. maybe he'll troll the board and find someone special.

[BeatNavy]

Why I'd be a bad hire:

-I'd want to wear a button down shirt and tie like Landry and Paterno...no cheesy, brand-driven, annually-changing sideline wear for me.

How about a brand-driven button-down?

[Primo]

everyone now is the time to get your resumes in to rick. maybe he'll troll the board and find someone special.

anyone else?

[BV1]

Name: BV

Age: 35 which is old to 18 year olds, but I am a pup to the staff

Staff: DC is an older wacko disciplinary dude

OL coach is a really butch volleyball coach I know about the same size as an average tackle

1st GA, works for the OL coach,he is like Dauber on the show "Coach"

2nd GA, a math and psychology double major, plays academic advisor to the team, nerd that really knows Madden,

rest of the defensive staff hired by DC, all like him, but younger

Leach is OC/QB coach

WR and RB coaches from the juco ranks here in Texas

Attractive female strength and conditioning coaches to make sure the guys dont want to miss a workout.

I coach special teams since the OL coach does all the work for the blocking assignments.

Team: In addition to bigger school transfers, my recruits all redshirted like some schools do, let Dodge's holdover players play while the new men learn at a comfortable pace for 2012. Reward for Dodge's players for all they have been through, without looking over their shoulder.

Walk-ons welcome to fill in any skill sets needed, if Dodge's holdovers cant/wont change positions.

DEFENSE: whatever the DC wants as long we lead the conference in fewest slackers allowed and are winning.

OFFENSE: see Leach reference above

Season openers and final OOC games on the road at either: UNLV, Hawaii, Tulane, UCLA or Miami.

Why I would be a good coach at UNT:

Funny press conferences

Interesting road games for players

The fact I never played college football didnt stop Leach, Mangino, Johnson, Hauck, Franchione and Weis from getting head coaching jobs. Why not?

My one year of middle school volleyball and basketball coaching will secretly impress RV, but he cant publicly disclose that.

I give guys a chance that no one else would (walk ons, transfers, Leach, the butch V coach, etc)

Why I would be bad for UNT:

I let the DC run amok on game day too much

I have no ties to Southern Miss, it would affect how I work with RV

My no questions asked expense accounts would raise too many questions after the Leach/VB coach bad publicity goes away

I am eccentric, even by Leach's standards.

Compensation: What Todd made

Automatically get my contract extended a year for each home win

a 6/6 house provided (bills paid by boosters)

Green Mustang GT provided

Cannot be fired, but can be reassigned to basketball or one of those associate assistant senior chief executive vice president jobs in the Ad Building

Thank you and GMG.