General George S. Dodge Addresses The Mg

LongJim · September 30, 2010

"Be seated men. Don't forget, you players don't know that I'm here. No mention of that fact is to be made in any articles. The world is not supposed to know what the hell happened to me. I'm not supposed to be coaching this team. Hell, I'm not even supposed to be here in Denton. I'm supposed to be looking for high school coaching jobs in central Texas. Let the first bastards to find out be the Goddamned Cajuns.

"Some day I want to see them raise up on their piss-soaked hind legs and howl, 'Jesus Christ, it's the Goddamned Mean Green again and that son-of-a-bitch Dodge'. We want to get the hell over there. The quicker we clean up this Goddamned mess, the quicker we can take a little jaunt against the purple pissing Troy Trojans and clean out their nest in Alabama, too. Before the Goddamned Middle Tennessee Blue Raiders get all of the credit. Sure, we want to go home. We want this game over with. The quickest way to get it over with is to go get the bastards who piss on our state with their presence. The quicker they are whipped, the quicker we can go home. The shortest way home is through Denton and Troy. And when we get to the New Orleans Bowl, I am personally going to take a leak on that that paper hanging son-of-a-bitch, Vito. Just like I'd shoot a snake!

"When a player is lying in a field, if he just stays there all day, a Cajun will eventually fall on him. The hell with that idea. The hell with taking it. My players don't go backwards. I don't want them to. Backwards is for mama's boys! Keep moving. And don't give the Cajuns time to regroup. We'll win this game, but we'll win it only by fighting and by showing the Cajuns that we've got more guts than they have; or ever will have. We're not going to just shoot the sons-of-bitches, we're going to rip out their living Goddamned guts and use the grease to make sausages in the parking lot at the tailgate after the game. We're going to crush those lousy Cajun bastards by the bushel-freaking-basket.

"Football is a bloody, messy business. You've got to spill their blood, or they will spill yours. Rip them up the belly. Shoot the gaps. When Lafayette fans are cheering all around you and you wipe the dirt off your face and realize that instead of dirt it's the blood and guts of what once was a teammate beside you, you'll know what to do!

"I don't want to hear any player saying, 'I am holding my position.' We are not holding a Goddamned thing. Let the Cajuns do that. We are advancing constantly and we are not interested in holding onto anything, except the enemy's balls. We are going to twist his balls and kick the living shit out of him all of the time. Our basic plan of operation is to advance and to keep on advancing regardless of whether we have to go over, under, or through the line of scrimmage. We are going to go through that line like crap through a goose; like shit through a tin horn!

"From time to time there will be some complaints that we are pushing our team too hard. I don't give a good Goddamn about such complaints. I believe in the old and sound rule that an ounce of sweat will save a gallon of blood. The harder WE push, the more Cajuns we will crush. The more Cajuns we crush, the fewer of our players will be injured. Pushing means fewer casualties. I want you all to remember that.

"There is one great thing that the Mean Green will all be able to say after this game is over and you are home once again. You may be thankful that twenty years from now when you are sitting by the fireplace with your grandson on your knee and he asks you what you did in to beat ULALA in Denton you WON'T have to cough, shift him to the other knee and say, 'Well, your Granddaddy stayed out in the parking lot and ate bratwurst at the tailgate.' No, Sir, you can look him straight in the eye and say, 'Son, your Granddaddy played for the MEAN goddamned GREEN under a Son-of a-Goddamned-Bitch named Todd Dodge!'

"That is all."

PlummMeanGreen · September 30, 2010

Jim, having worked with you a few years ago, I can tell this is a very, very, very down day for you I.T. guys, you lazy :censored: sumbich'! :lol:

GMG!

LongJim · September 30, 2010

LOL! No joke. Today we had a "teambuilding" picnic. That tells you what my day was like. :lol:

PlummMeanGreen · September 30, 2010

LOL! No joke. Today we had a "teambuilding" picnic. That tells you what my day was like.

Oh yes, I remember those indoor meeting/picnics in the large conference room alright! lol!

Wait a minute, I just heard another catfish jump in my pond, Jim. :blink:

GMG!

GrayEagle · September 30, 2010

Pretty salty language for a preacher's kid, LJ.

PlummMeanGreen · September 30, 2010

Pretty salty language for a preacher's kid, LJ.

Heck, Jim, I worked with you all that time and never knew you were a PK! Of course, yall will always claim it was us DK's (deacons kids) who led yall astray, right? My first ex was a PK and she sure pulled a fast one on me for damn sure (just like her mother,ie, my ex mother in law did to her own "minister" husband) so it is so true........the acorn really does not fall far from the tree. I am a living testament, been on anti-depressants ever since, went to a "counselor" who told me most men would have committed suicide from all that I had gone thru thru the years ("thanks, counselor") and I damn sure better quit while I'm ahead. :unsure: NOTE: I told that counselor I wanted to live to the end to see how this would all turn out and that some things in life were a permanent solution to a temporary problem plus I had to be around to see my alma mater have a brand new state of the art football stadium one day. :lol: I know--this has been wheels off.

GMG!

Edited September 30, 2010 by PlummMeanGreen

LongJim · October 1, 2010

Yeah, hesitated to post that. I didn't write it, for pete's sake! :lol:

Not a PK, guys. Not sure where that came from. Great grandson of one, though!

KingDL1 · October 1, 2010

There is some good ole Piss and Vinegar, I enjoyed it sir!

GrayEagle · October 1, 2010

Heck, Jim, I worked with you all that time and never knew you were a PK! Of course, yall will always claim it was us DK's (deacons kids) who led yall astray, right? My first ex was a PK and she sure pulled a fast one on me for damn sure (just like her mother,ie, my ex mother in law did to her own "minister" husband) so it is so true........the acorn really does not fall far from the tree. I am a living testament, been on anti-depressants ever since, went to a "counselor" who told me most men would have committed suicide from all that I had gone thru thru the years ("thanks, counselor") and I damn sure better quit while I'm ahead. NOTE: I told that counselor I wanted to live to the end to see how this would all turn out and that some things in life were a permanent solution to a temporary problem plus I had to be around to see my alma mater have a brand new state of the art football stadium one day. I know--this has been wheels off.

GMG!

No, it's Todd Dodge who is the preacher's kid.