John Wall To Return To School

[CMJ]

LEXINGTON, KY--According to a report in the Lexington Herald-Leader, Kentucky star freshman John Wall plans to return to school this week to pick up his **** before bolting for the NBA. Wall will reportedly arrive on Thursday morning and beginning clearing out his dorm room.

“John Wall is coming back to Kentucky,” said a source close to the 19-year-old. “He will be here Thursday to pack up his ****, clean out his dorm,

say a few quick goodbyes and leave forever. But he will be back, technically, and a lot of people said he wouldn’t. So there.”

The source said Wall’s decision to come back was based on a desire not to leave all his **** at school.

“He thought long and hard about it, he consulted his family and his coach, and he came to the determination that he didn’t want to leave his clothes and Playstation at school,” said the source. “It was a tough decision because he didn’t want to step foot in that hellhole ever again, and is ecstatic his-one year of purgatory is over and he can go to the NBA. He bleeds Kentucky blue, though.”

Wall’s teammates say they weren’t surprised by the decision, as Wall had previously confided in them a desire to return to school after the tournament. They also hoped this would put an end to any speculation.

“I’m not real surprised because he told me he wanted to do this,” said center DeMarcus Cousins. “He said ‘D, I’m going back to Lexington. I’m going back to school!’ And I was like, ‘You mean you’re playing one more year?’ And he was like, ‘Ew, gross. No. I’m just coming to put all my **** into a duffle bag and high-tail it out of here.’ So say what you want about him being a one and done, but he opted to come back and get his **** even though he could have just left it behind and bought new **** with his NBA money. That says a lot about him.”

Kentucky coach John Calipari said he supported Wall’s decision “100 percent.”

“John and I talked about this extensively and support him 100 percent,” he said. “I really do think it’s in his best interests. If he doesn't return to school, he's going to have to hire somebody else to pick up his stuff, or worse yet, leave everything there and have some weirdo steal it and sell his underwear on eBay.”

“I just hope he left me Call of Duty 4,” the coach added. “He committed to doing it and I fully expect him to honor that commitment.”

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Found this on a NC Tarheel messageboard and couldn't stop laughing.

[untbowler]

Serious question how does Kentucky's APR not taking a huge hit with 5 underclassmen leaving? With two more Top Recruits in 10-11 who will be one and done how do they survive yet we got docked a scholarship

[CMJ]

I'm sure the NCAA will come to Lexington sooner or later. Can't spell Calipari without sanctions. The Bluegrass better hope it's just an APR hit when the time arrives.

[MeanGreenTexan]

I'm sure the NCAA will come to Lexington sooner or later. Can't spell Calipari without sanctions. The Bluegrass better hope it's just an APR hit when the time arrives.

Something about the guy just reminds me of a used-car salesman...

"Heeey, What do I gotta do to get you in dis car right here? Let me talk to my manager! Better yet, if you pay $1000 cash, I'll take $2000 offa dis price right here. How's about dat!?!"

[Army of Dad]

Serious question how does Kentucky's APR not taking a huge hit with 5 underclassmen leaving? With two more Top Recruits in 10-11 who will be one and done how do they survive yet we got docked a scholarship

Maybe someone else can help out here too, but I think the APR takes a smaller hit if the player left the school while still in good acedemic standing.

[TheTastyGreek]

Maybe someone else can help out here too, but I think the APR takes a smaller hit if the player left the school while still in good acedemic standing.

There's a different set of rules for players who leave early to play professionally.

From the NCAA's official site:

Do student-athletes who leave school early to go pro hurt their teams’ APR?

If a student-athlete is in good academic standing and leaves school early to pursue a professional career, the team receives one point for academic achievement but is NOT penalized a retention point. In other words, the team receives 100 percent of the points available and the team is not penalized. But if a student-athlete leaves early and is in poor academic standing, the team loses two points, making it harder for the team’s APR score to recover.

Basically, as long as they fake grades and the players leave as academically eligible athletes, Kentucky will not lose any retention points. And they not only won't get a lower APR score... Their APR score will actually move closer to perfect. Because they'll have a maximum 1 point per eligible player going pro, and they'll earn full credit for all that fall under that rule.