Monday Morning Recap

Quoner · October 26, 2009

The dash (-) is a magical symbol. It can change the meaning of so many words by simply showing up. For example, when I started writing this recap, I was going to call the "let's turn on each other" edition, when something struck me. We can call it "let's turn-on each other" and do our best to make this board a sexier - and friendlier - place to visit.

Every year around October, you idiots go postal on each other and that is when not taking this so seriously makes it fun to just sit back and read the barbs. You're not positive enough! We don't have enough money! We should go to I-AA! Let's change conferences and debate why! I saw RV in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me! (Yes, the Simpsons thread was the only thing worthwhile posted her last week). Why don't I get a free hamburger when I buy season tickets? Basketball is stupid! Why do people like sports that aren't football? Why can't I design a t-shirt? If God is love, then why is there so much suffering and hate?

And so we slog up the internet trash heap and make our points, call out the coaches or players of choice and try to tear one another apart once again. If I ever create a society in a petri dish that comes to regard me as their god, I am going to replace sports with a high acceptance of sexual activity to (a) keep them from developing internet porn and exploiting my daughter and ( reduce the need for college football message boards. If they somehow start a sexual activity message board, I'm still totally going to write Monday Morning Recaps so everyone can debate what went where and why for weeks to come.

On to this weekend's meltdown!

Meangreenbob is back, leaning heavily on the New Testament favorite Fire Dodge Now Rick! The return of eulesseagle in this thread makes me wonder if they are the same guy, but I'll leave it to a higher power to figure out.

With all the bad results on the field we've seen the last few years, how is it that Nathan Tune's performance on Saturday inspires this guy to really start using a new GMG.com account? I'm really hoping there is some new poster out there waiting for us to have punt blocked and run back before he starts using his or her new account. Ha, I said her like there are more than 5 girls on this board.

We need someone to join Vito in covering this team and really hold Dodge's feet to the fire. That'll learn him good!

Oh, Playmaker, you truly are the king of kings. Drive 30 mins south on I-35 E or I-35W and see how much Jones and Patterson are being paid at their programs. Actually, I like this one better: Hint: Try playing NCAA 2010 and try a 4th and 1 from a shotgun formation, chances are you won't convert downs. If video games are the new criteria, why doesn't Tune just run backwards for 30 yards and then throw to a wide open Flipper Anderson?

The defense sucks -- why isn't Deloach dead yet? Probably because he's part metal, part Kevlar and 100% covered in contagious AIDS-producing antibodies that he has worked up an immunity to. Let's call him DelAIDS until we pitch a shut out!

The positivity post included a line that made me chuckle semi-audibly: you can safely say that OUR BEST SEASON IN THE PAST THREE YEARS WAS COMPRISED ALMOST ENTIRELY OF DARRELL DICKEY'S AFTERBIRTH. .

KRAM is ready to carry the torch this week for Team Stay the Course, and he's doing it proudly. How do you refute Emmitt's repeated questioning - by hypothetically attacking state troopers and creating scenarios that don't answer the questions.

This week's "person who broke under the weight of the box score" was none other than TIGreen01. You can pick your prize up at...well, I guess we'll have to mail it to you.

Three more wins seems to be the reasonable bar posters across threads are settling on for progress this year. Then again, we could lose to Western....and the internet would hit it's 200 visitor limit and explode in a fiery ball of destruction.

Let's just remember that we can all hate WKU together. In fact, this is still one of my favorite profanity-laced tirades I ever wrote for TYSports

Finally, as we move into another difficult week, remember, a critique of the football team is a statement on the state of society. I think I speak for all the REAL FANS when I say f*** instant coffee, Spaghetti-O's, microwave dinners, frozen fruit, hot cocoa mix and automatic transmissions.

But,

Go Mean Green

P.S. Remember, turn-on each other. It's the only way we can all be happy again. I'll start -- hey guest-reading-this-thread, nice a$$.

medpilot21 · October 26, 2009

Haha... I have no idea who you are, but that was freakin hillraious. To quote the great General George S. Patton...

"If everybody is thinking alike, then someone isnt thinking..."

Keep the free thoughts flowing Q.... that's what you're good at.

GMG!!!

Censored by Laurie · October 26, 2009

Hint: Try playing NCAA 2010 and try a 4th and 1 from a shotgun formation, chances are you won't convert downs. If video games are the new criteria, why doesn't Tune just run backwards for 30 yards and then throw to a wide open Flipper Anderson?