Monday Afternoon Recap

Quoner · October 19, 2009

Did you guys see that balloon boy thing last week? Holy crap, I was totally scared when I thought about that poor six year old in there!

I sat and watched that whole thing at work - totally streamed it on my computer and my heart just freaking sank when the balloon came down empty. You're telling me this nation can put a man on the moon, but it can't rescue a freaking child from Uncle Molesty's Homemade UFO? Then, the details about the thing being hoax came out and I was pissed. You just don't do that to me, Falcon's dad, you sack of human horse crap.

As someone invested in this case, my anger soon turned to range. Do you people realize what I gave up to follow this story? First of all, my time. My time is freaking valuable. I could have been finishing a spreadsheet for a work deadline or just surfing The Drudge Report without pants. If I got really fancy-free, I could have checked to see how former Sub Belt teams were doing with their new coaches. I can bill clients at a rate approaching $300 an hour, so I think you can see why this first point is a huge deal.

Second, I have paid parking tickets in Colorado, donated to the DPD police fundraiser and even bought a table at the annual Fireman's Ball. I am financially invested in the work of this department and the work they do. If a cop does a great job, I want to comend them, but boy howdy, if you screw over my boys in blue you might as well just consider yourself on citizen's arrest - no bail.

Finally, I am passionate about police work. I have experience in security - starting as a hall monitor in elementary school all the way through campus security in college. Sure, I never took the next step, but there are things I get about the job and what a good cop does that you don't understand. When I criticize Falcon's Dad for being a sack of human poo or even the way the officers handled the case, it means more because of my life experience!

The jokes on you because (1) that wasn't funny and (2) it wasted your time, but this is what it's come to -- so many of the semi-intelligent posters have become so beaten down and apathetic that all we have left is a thin, three-page layer of pond scum to sort through each Monday. It's great news if you're a tard-biologist searching for specimens to analyze like I am, but terrible news if you're just looking for something interesting to read. The only downer for this tard-biologist -- the language ban. Crazy just isn't the same without PG-13 to R-rated language. Could we do some kind of Saturday night Skinemax version of the board that let's whoever breaks down just have at it?

First off, I love Home Coming weekend too! Though, to quote McLovin in a movie that was never quite as funny as it's reputation, "it's not the going, it's the coming I'm worried about."

So, what else was good? We saw the Wildcat formation - it's always fun to see things everyone else does and still get geeked about it. I'm not being sarcastic either -- I just tried Netflix for the first time and had my mind blown. All of those DVDs sent right to my door? MADNESS!

The official attendance was HUGE, so let's talk about TCU for a bit.

Actually, this week's poster psyche breakdown is our very own Big Sherrif aka Emmitt01. First, the angry version was none to happy during the 30 point second quarter. Then we cut it close and Emmitt was ready to admit he was wrong and embrace victory. He ended up sort of being right, but not really, so at the end of the day, all we're really doing is pointing a finger at the guy for speaking up. That'll teach him.

How many e's in meanderingly boring post? This is your fault for not bringing the crazy! I don't want to debate Tune's arm strength or game plan right now -- I can only use so many links in a post, you vultures! I do think that naming Tune after some kind of sanitary napkin seems like a solid idea though, even if it's not quite my first choice. Besides, if you give him a nickname, you never know which poster won't get the joke and try to turn it into a blowup with his family, so I'm just going to nickname him Nathan. I may pronounce it Na Than though, thank you very much (you don't own me).

Ever notice that a certain group on this board will always try to side against the prevailing dumb opinions? It might not always be in an obvious form and it will often bait the really stupid into agreeing with it, but ma, when it works, it works. No, I'm not talking about CBL's thread about cutting Riley, I'm talking about the 2 tons of awesome Aztecskin dropped at the end. Blow me up, dawg! Also, I love the idea of GMG posters running the team if we are 1-10, I kind of demand that we give it a try. Imagine the respect most of you could command in the locker room alone.

So, how did everyone else handle the weekend?

KRAM1 took the time to call out mud.

Moobs wants us to grow a pair earlier in the fourth (to be fair, we have only lead in the fourth quarter in all but two of our games. We need at least another 8 to get this whole closing thing down).

UNTCampbell, as part of his ongoing charity work with mouth-breathers, invalids, shut-ins and dangerous pedophiles, invites everyone to read the internet's sports toilet for some hot takes on UNT. the Bleacher Report, where Aztecskin and I can look like Hemingway.

Shaft damns the official school policy of nepotism once more, in case you missed it. I was skeptical until Dr. B's daughter started teaching my friend's younger sister Physics.

OMFG - these officials were the worst officials I have ever seen since last week and that one time in 1988 and that bowl game we lost and that other time that the guy did the thing but then we didn't call it and then he did the other thing and stuff went bad!!3rl;wefklwefwer Oddly enough, we got away with pass interference on tow of our stops (it stands out because there were so few, but, go mean green.) Come to this thread, for the ranting, stay for the Rudy fail about June Jones. Again.

Finally, tailgating was awesome and we had fun and HOLY SANTA CLAUS POOP, TOMATO PIZZA WAS THERE? Dear Ski - come make money off our nostalgia. Love, everyone.

Also, if you people were cold to the point of leaving on Saturday, you simply suck at dressing yourself and/or incorporating the weather forecast into your life decisions.

Censored by Laurie · October 19, 2009

Six games in and I finally crack the recap.

I would like to personally thank Crop Organic Cucumber Vodka for my profanity and clearly (or so I thought) sarcastic calls for cutting Riley and a GMG.com coaching staff.

mad dog · October 19, 2009

If I get mentioned first, do I win something?

Cerebus · October 19, 2009

How do I keep not making this list?

Let me lay out my qualifications:

1) North Texas football often fills me with murderous rage.

2) North Texas football often makes me lose all sense of propriety.

3) North Texas football often makes me want to yell at people (and by want to yell at people I mean actually yell at people, usually John Denver).

4) As has long been established, I am a power mad board Nazi.

I should be nearing hall of fame status.

PS: Falcon jokes are already OK? Here I made this for you:

untcampbell · October 19, 2009

Your humor speaks so highly over my head, and I am so out of touch with pop culture references, that I am not sure my debut mentions in the MAR are positive or negative. I am going to have to assume you are in the anti-untcampbell camp, as most are.

But do I appreciate your many references, here and in the past, and recognition of the inference that is:

But,

GMG

Quoner · October 19, 2009

Your humor speaks so highly over my head, and I am so out of touch with pop culture references, that I am not sure my debut mentions in the MAR are positive or negative. I am going to have to assume you are in the anti-untcampbell camp, as most are.
But do I appreciate your many references, here and in the past, and recognition of the inference that is:
But,
GMG

No sir - I am anti-BleacherReport. You just got caught in the cross-fire.

Quoner · October 19, 2009

How do I keep not making this list?
Let me lay out my qualifications:
1) North Texas football often fills me with murderous rage.
2) North Texas football often makes me lose all sense of propriety.
3) North Texas football often makes me want to yell at people (and by want to yell at people I mean actually yell at people, usually John Denver).
4) As has long been established, I am a power mad board Nazi.
I should be nearing hall of fame status.
PS: Falcon jokes are already OK? Here I made this for you:

Nice.

My lazy link response: http://warmingglow.uproxx.com/?attachment_id=7026