Monday Morning Recap

[Quoner]

Every time I see a group of people in MTSU apparel, I think of Mr. Funke’s ill-fated turn as an understudy to the Blue Man Group on Arrested Development.

Still those fans came – and they were so nice. Yeah, they want to beat you, but you don’t get anyone dog-cussing you or insulting your mother. They played along when we fired a cannon at them before half-time. They even keep saying good things about Riley after the game. Sure, they can’t remember what happened a few weeks ago, but who are we to judge them?

Speaking of judging – I’m telling you who I am judging this week. I hate when people get on here and rip spirit groups just because they bought a $10 ticket. Waaa – Scrappy doesn’t dance enough. Waaa – the Eagle Angels stole my sandwich! Waaaa – the band didn’t hold that trill through the signal to end the fermata. Waaa – that cheerleader I paid $750 to couldn’t remember my safe word. IT GET’S OLD!!! Still, I have three pieces of advice for the Wings:

1.) If the starting QB is down on the ground hurt, don’t implore me to make noise with your bandana.

2.) If our team is going for a fourth and one near midfield, don’t implore me to make noise with your bandana.

3.) Reinvest the money you are spending on designer jeans in your future.

I feel better now.

So, who read the board this weekend? I broke my code and logged in Sunday for a taste of the mood and got pretty much what I came for. There was the comfort of knowing that we were not UTEP that night. Besides, the odds of Texas reloading by the time we go back down there are so slim that I think we can already start thinking upset, right? There was also the much more exciting comfort of knowing how good at sports Lance Dunbar is. I don’t want to commit heresy or hyperbole, but if Jesus decided his return should be in the form of a running back sharing time in the backfield at a mid-major college, I’m pretty sure that this is how he would look. Prove me wrong!

That was it for the positives really. I guess we’ll tackle the not as negative topics next. Up first – we need to keep working on the short yardage packages, but the fact that they actually exist might be progress. Read that sentence slowly, then facepalm whenever you have a spare moment. Goal Line packages - still under construction.

Still – every time a team loses, all eyes shift to the QB. And, since we live in such a smart football town, it’s obviously time to figure out how to get the ball moving on running Riley out of town. Riley may have good quotes, but her turned the ball over too much! He shrugged his shoulders! I really did like the idea to shuttle Tune in when we want to throw deep. We could start that – let them adjust, and then gash them to death with inside hand-offs. The plan has no flaws! Maybe Riley could lighten up the receiving corp by becoming the next Jordan Shipley/Wes Welker/New Jewish guy on the Patriots.

So, how do we pick up the pieces from another conference loss? Well, we can go macro and try to really put this Doge guy in perspective. This thread is nothing new, but Rudy’s ability to link a person complaining about the Dodge’s W/L record was really funny. It had a dancing banana and everything, plus he quoted that Jim Mora speech from more than a decade ago. All that thing needed was some Caroline in the City references and it would be like a time capsule.

Still, these recaps are catching on. Grandgreen had a pretty good one. The line play in the first half was the biggest problem and you’d like to think it can keep improving. Since we don’t seem bent on throwing downfield much, we need to run the ball well to open up the short pass plays to the outside. How short are they? This short:

Looking it up for the entire NCAA... There are only 3 teams that average less than our 8.9 (more precisely, 8.85) yards per completion:

Central Michigan - 8.77

New Mexico - 8.57

Eastern Michigan - 8.25

New Mexico, you'll all recall, currently has Darrell Dickey as OC/Running Backs coach. So the difference between our current OC and a Dickey-run offense in 2009?

UNT90 had a recap that was a little more scathing, but still valid. If you want to discuss the lack of a two point conversion at the end of the third, this is your thread. And yes, basketball really is only 45 days away – even if we don’t get a premier game to watch.

Can we beat ASU and Troy on the road? I have no idea anymore, but I’d rather just worry about UL if that’s cool with everyone.

And, that was pretty much it for analysis – but it was just the beginning for one of the board’s favorite past times – cannibalizing the smallest fan base in the state!

Why play a post game song when you lose? Why do fireworks? Why don’t we close the stadium down instantly , put on sackcloth and wear ashes like other schools?

Why don’t those stupid alumni stand up more during the first half? Why do people age? Why do they make my grandpa take calcium? Why did dad shoot that old mare? Where does KFC come from? Will I get old someday?

Why must people mock the team that they have only seen do poorly with a noise that I don’t like? Why did Quoner hate that guy behind him while he kept moving around the stadium? What color is my parachute? Who moved my cheese?

Look, if we could all just give each other the same respect that we give some a-hole in a USC jersey who will mostly likely never come back, the world would be a much better place.

So we enter into a long two weeks before the next snap, with only music and the recent success of UH (beating Tech is also sooo late 90s – add that to Rudy’s time capsule) to comfort us.

But,

Go Mean Green.

PS: Wash this recap down with a cool, refreshing glass of Playmaker. It's almost like we're not in the middle of an SBC losing streak or anything!