Are You A Sports Fan Doofus ?

NT03 · August 2, 2009

Green P1 · August 2, 2009

Nope.

UNTflyer · August 2, 2009

11. Running in a rainstorm

I did this earlier this week.

My new mitigating factor - You live in Texas and it's July. Enjoy the one afternoon where a 3-mile running will not risk putting you in the hospital with heatstroke.

Quoner · August 3, 2009

Looks like a shot at some of you

1. Wearing a team jersey inscribed with your name
Dubious behavior: Simple. Show up to a Cleveland Cavs game in a No. 23 jersey, only with F-O-R-B-E-S stitched along the back.
Doofus factor: High. It's one thing to create yourself as the cannon-armed quarterback of your favorite squad in "Madden," living out vicarious athletic fantasies in the privacy of your home. It's quite another to drape those same fantasies across your pudgy, rounded shoulder blades as you slouch over the guardrail behind the home team's bench, waiting for a call-up that will never, ever come. Really. Your team would rather sign Jeff George.
Suggested solution: Stick to stock jerseys, the way the NFL sometimes must wish it did.
Mitigating circumstances: If you're a Seattle Seahawks fan … and you pick the retired No. 12 fan jersey … and you don't have a favorite player … or a favorite former star … and you don't mind looking just a bit like a doofus … go ahead and customize your shirt. Sigh.
Related behaviors: Women wearing pink team gear, especially Boston Red Sox hats and Dallas Cowboys jerseys. Wake up, America! Doofusdom does not discriminate on the basis of gender!