Hiring Dodge: Then And Now

gangrene · January 12, 2009

Two years ago, my decent-looking girlfriend and I had a bitter parting of ways that started when she and her friends wore black shirts to my birthday party. I was depressed. In addition, I couldn't escape my reality by focusing on UNT football. So, I was also depressed with the state of our football program. My beloved Mean Green had some recent success and I felt that we should be experiencing those glory days again. "We should easily win the Sunbelt every year!" I used to say. Trying to drown my sorrows at the local watering hole, I noticed a really hot chick checking me out, albeit through beer goggles. In my drunken stupor, I approached the gorgeous babe and struck up a conversation. All the right things were said...she was a big UNT fan and loved football. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was amazed by her compliments about our new facilities and told that, together, we could be the talk of the metroplex. My buddies were watching me and giving me the thumbs up sign...mouthing the words, "She's hot!" and making obscene pelvic thrusts. It was love at first sight, or so it seemed. The more I talked to her the more it appeared she was into me and willing to leave the bar in search of some place more private. I was surprised I was getting all this attention from what, to me, was obviously the most attractive girl in the bar. Confident and proud, I wanted everyone to know...yeah, she's with me and we're leaving together...she even drove me home in her Dodge Viper, since I was in no position to be behind the wheel.

The next morning (it seems like I slept for two years) I awoke to find the ugliest biyatch I had ever seen, lying next to me in my bed. Oh Sh*t!!! I thought, what the hell did I do??? She made me the nastiest breakfast I'd ever eaten and I couldn't get her to leave. When she finally did leave, I walked her out to Dodge...Neon?!??!? WTF?!?!?!?? Where did the Viper go?? As I sat on my couch wondering just what in the hell I was thinking the prior night, I began to assess the damage. She knew where I lived but I could always move. My friends all saw me leave with her...how embarrassing, but I could get over that. I had gotten closer to her than I cared to remember...luckily I didn't remember every detail.

A few months went by and I had almost forgotten about the worst night of my life. That's when I got the phone call telling me that she was pregnant and it appeared our lives would be forever entangled. I did the right thing and married her. My good friends know our story but I don't ever mention her to anyone at the office. When we go out in public I try to stay as far away from her as I can. People see her in her UNT sweatshirt and they point and laugh. I try not to notice, but it's hard. I'm saving my money to get her a personal trainer and some plastic surgery but I often wonder if it's worth the effort. I guess I just can't picture her looking as good as she did in my inebriated state of mind that night.

gangrene · January 12, 2009

How could "she" get pregant if she has a penis?

LOL, let's not go there. She wasn't a ladyboy...just a really ugly b.

UNT_playmaker · January 13, 2009

We will see the negative effects of the Dodge hire on this program for years to come, even after he gets the boot....

NT03 · January 13, 2009

If only you would of used planned parenthood this all could have been prevented

UNT90 · January 13, 2009

Meanwhile, that librian looking, black rimmed glasses wearing petite girl that you left sitting at the bar, the one that was really into you, has suddenly blossommed into a beautiful young woman. Wasn't her name Harbaugh???

Quoner · January 13, 2009

Whatever - persistence is key. We all know the second time is when you get to do the weird stuff.

meangreendork · January 13, 2009

Meanwhile, that librian looking, black rimmed glasses wearing petite girl that you left sitting at the bar, the one that was really into you, has suddenly blossommed into a beautiful young woman. Wasn't her name Harbaugh???

Why didn't we take that guy? He had AC experience at the NFL level, NFL playing time, and pretty much had NCAA experience by consulting with his dad at WKU, plus the time at San Diego U.

greenminer · January 13, 2009

Why didn't we take that guy? He had AC experience at the NFL level, NFL playing time, and pretty much had NCAA experience by consulting with his dad at WKU, plus the time at San Diego U.

I needed the anchovies.

gangrene · January 13, 2009

Meanwhile, that librian looking, black rimmed glasses wearing petite girl that you left sitting at the bar, the one that was really into you, has suddenly blossommed into a beautiful young woman. Wasn't her name Harbaugh???

Yes, I remember her. Although she was dressed very conservatively, I thought she had real potential and...you know what they say about those librarian types. But, I let my friends push me in the other direction.

Edited January 13, 2009 by gangrene