New Substance Abuse Claim Surfaces

[island eagle]

Authorities have raised alarms about a mind-altering chemical allegedly used by Mean Green fans prior to football games. The chemical, CH3,CH2,OH, dubbed “liquid heroin” by a county sheriff investigating reports of fan involvement, has been known to cause wild, boisterous behavior in North Texas supporters. The fan-performance boosting chemical, can cause a temporary surge in enthusiasm and optimism. This “up” phase, unfortunately, is soon followed by depression and lethargy as the effects of the drug wear off and the results on the scoreboard become apparent.

When informed of this serious issue, administration officials would only respond cryptically that they are “looking into the matter”.

“When the going gets strange, the strange turn pro”—

Hunter S. Thompson

[Harry]

lol!