I Spoke Too Soon

[JesseMartin]

Go to lifegem.com.

They turn the ashes of your loved one into a diamond. For you to wear. You actually get jewelry made from your dead lover, parent, child, etc.

I can see the commercial now:

"That's a GORGEOUS pendant, my dear. Wherever did you get it?"

"Oh, that? It's nothing. Just the synthetically compressed carbon portions of my husband's remains. He would have wanted it this way."

Cue Backstreet Boys' "I Want it That Way"

(Voiceover) Life Gem...look as rich as you could have been if they hadn't died before getting a few more years' salary.

[CMJ]

WTF

That is all

[JesseMartin]

I dunno, dude...you met at least one of my exes. Do you really think she'd be above something like this?