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Perrilloux Kicked Out Of Baton Rouge


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This kid just loves drama. Maybe he's just got some kind of ESPN news quota he likes to meet every year.

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I expect my own quota:

MeanRob might post about still not wanting to go up there

Charlie will only get more excited about Dodge's changes to win against the rest of this NFL SEC team

"Should we consider him"

"He's too much trouble, we don't need that junk in our trunk!"

"You don't know the whole story. Don't be throwing stones"

Maybe a road trip will reveal an undiscovered oil field on the way. We could fund our stadium!

...oh IT WILL and you know it.

What else am I missing? As long as we can get a Lebowski and/or Office Space reference in there, I'm down for whatever.

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Technically, you told us that Dennis Dodd told you so and you agreed. I kid...I kid....

That being said, just think where Texas would be if this kid wasn't a total douche. If he didn't exist, you'd probably be applauding Longhorn great Chase Daniel right now.

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For those who want more background on Ryan's Texas/LSU recruitment, here's a fairly detailed (and funny) rundown from the web:

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A Trip Down Memory Sewageline (long)(annoying)

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If you don't want to read about Perrilloux anymore, click "back" and do something more productive (which includes just about everything). The following summarizes his commitment to now (there are too many great Perriloux quotes to select a best one):

It started out with the robust firmness of a post-Salt Lick dump:

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Larry Dauterive, who was quoted by The Times-Picayune in New Orleans as saying Perrilloux had committed to a Longhorn assistant coach.

7/23/04

"“It was a big misunderstanding,” Perrilloux said about the recent sting of events. “I was talking to my coach and Texas is a school that I like and is one of my favorites. Coach must have taken that as meaning that I had committed, which is not true. . . . Yeah, my mom called me this morning and told me about it. I couldn’t believe it when I saw it,” Perrilloux said about the story. “It was just a big miscommunication between everybody but there’s nothing going on right now.”

7/25/04

"“No. I’m not close to making a commitment. I probably won’t make a commitment until after my senior season is over,” he said. “The whole thing is just a big misunderstanding,” he said.

7/25/04

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But then it all became crystal clear:

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Perrilloux committed and stated "Texas is where my heart is. I just can't wait to get down there."

7/26/04

"The reason I kept saying it was a misunderstanding is because I hadn't technically committed to Texas," Perrilloux said. "I didn't commit until (Sunday) night, so it was a misunderstanding."

7/26/04

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Perrilloux affirmed his intentions, using text very close to that of the well respected Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf, Information Minister of Iraq:

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"I'm a man of my word and I told them that I was coming. Nothing will make me change my mind. The only thing that would change my mind is if something happened with the Texas coaches. My decision is made and once I give my word to someone, I stick to it and fulfill it."

"I actually haven't told the LSU coaches yet about my decision," Perrilloux said. "I'm on my way up there right now and I'm going to hang out for a few days."

--7/26/04

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Although Christie Todd Whittman was nosing around Reserve, LA looking for a reported "75,000 foot high bullshit mountain," like Mark Sanchez and other QBs, Perrilloux expressed his deep wishes to study under Vince Young as a backup until Vince left:

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Q:Do you envision yourself coming in and starting right away or do you see yourself redshirting for a year to gain knowledge and maturity prior to making an impact?

Perrilloux: If Vincent (Young) is still there, I see myself waiting around behind him and learning the offense and then trying to make a major impact the first year that I’m starting. But if he decides that he wants to do something like leave early, then I’m ready to play.

8/26/04

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But Perrilloux stated was growing tired of the attention:

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Q: What was the best part of the recruiting process? The worst?

Perrilloux: The best part was mainly getting the letters and getting some special treatment. But after a while, it gets a little aggravating when everyone’s calling you and you’re on the phone all day. Then you’re reading letters all day.

8/26/04

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He also assured the planet there was no pressure from local fans and his commitment was definitely solid:

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Q: Is there any pressure from local fans to attend the in-state school, LSU?

Perrilloux: It’s not a big impact. They’re pretty much happy for me since I’m a Louisiana person and I’m doing good.

8/26/04

Q: You’ve mentioned that you were very solid in your commitment to Texas and that you would only reconsider if something drastic happened. Have you had any second thoughts since the commitment or has it grown more solid? What type of drastic things could make you rethink the commitment?

Perrilloux: My commitment is definitely solid. I’m not second-guessing it at all. When I say drastic, something completely out of the ordinary would have to happen. Something that I never expected.

8/26/04

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By November, rumors of Perrilloux's de-commitment were thicker than nutria shit in Reserve, but Perrilloux assured everyone he was solid:

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Q: On the talk that he may be considering switching his commitment from Texas to LSU:

Perrilloux: My thoughts on the rumors are that they’re not true. I’m still pretty solid with Texas. I’m just waiting it out until signing day.

12/1/04

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After Perrilloux's official visit to Texas, although there were rumors that he was headed to LSU and Jamal Charles was trying to "swing him back to Texas" and some Texas fans wanted UT to try and land another QB, Perrilloux confirmed he was now 100%:

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12/12/04:

“They [parents] thought everything was really nice. The loved it a lot,” said Perrilloux. “But they’ve always really liked Texas. All of this just firmed up my commitment even more. . . . I’m 100 percent now,” said Perrilloux. “I know those other schools are going to still try to recruit me, but I’m going to Texas. They can try but I’m going.”

“It was the players. I was cool with all of them, they all seemed to like me, and everywhere I went they kept saying ‘oh you’re our new quarterback,’” Perrilloux said. “I’d just be a big name at Texas and it’s the perfect situation for me. . . .”

Perrilloux said he really hit it off with Jamaal Charles, and the thought of lining up in the same backfield as the Port Arthur Memorial running back is another reason that Texas has solidified it’s hold on Perrilloux’s commitment. “The thought of playing with him, (wide receiver) Nate Jones and the good receivers they have, the good coaching staff, Texas is the perfect school for any player at my position,” he said.

Perrilloux said he is still planning to make a January 28 visit to LSU, but he was unsure if he would take any other trips.

“They’re cool with it,” Perrilloux said when asked if he talked to the UT coaches about other visits. “They know I’m solid and I’m not going to change.”

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Despite rumors swirling around for months that Perrilloux would, incredibly oddly, switch his commitment on signing day, he again assured college football fans that these visits he'd take weren't going to change his commitment to Texas

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12/23/04:

What would one of the four schools that he's visiting have to show to win Perrilloux over and get him to switch from his commitment to Texas?

"Oh, nobody can overtake Texas," he said.

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However, a crack in the Perrilloux dike appeared when Perrilloux's nutty behind-the-scenes manipulating stepfather, Phil Breaux, stated:

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That same evening, Texas assistant coach Michael Haywood accepted the offensive coordinator job at Notre Dame. This occurred a week after Haywood told Perrilloux and his family that he'd never leave Austin, prompting Phillip to say his stepson "doesn't owe Mack Brown a thing.".

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That made about as much sense as, whenever you see a firetruck, yelling "mustard" while nakedly flopping your balls about.

After Saban bolted and 3rd or 4th choice Okie State coach Les Miles landed the job at LSU and Vince Young has a huge Rose Bowl, rumors swirled after a Miles visit that Perrilloux would switch his commit and Texas should go after other QBs. Perrilloux again reaffirmed he was solid as Demi Moore's hardened tits to Texas:

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1/1/05:

"Everything is still the same," Perrilloux said. "I'm still a solid commitment to Texas. It's my school. That's exactly what I told Coach Davis, too."

So, what would it take for Perrilloux to waiver on his commitment? Would it simply take some program to blow him away with their complete presentation - from the depth chart all the way down to the campus?

""Yeah, that's how I would describe it," Perrilloux said. "It would take someone doing that to make me change my mind and nothing like that has happened yet."

Not even the visit with Coach Miles?

"He's a nice guy. He's alright," Perrilloux said. "I wouldn't say I was blown away. Impressed? Yes. But, I wasn't blown away. But, he does have an in-home visit coming up so he'll have another chance."

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During the Army All-Star game practices, rumors sprung forth from nearly every corner that Perrilloux was not only going to switch to LSU, but was actually recruiting players to go to LSU. Periiloux denied these:

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1/12/05:

"They don't have anything to worry about. I'm a firm commitment to Texas," Perrilloux said during a break between practices. "They should see me in the summertime. . . It's a 0.1 percent chance that I won't go to Texas," he said. "Texas is my school and I've been committed to them since the summertime. I enjoy going to Austin. I'm really good friends with all the coaches, all the players. They don't have anything to worry about. Texas is where I'm going to be at."

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For some odd reason, despite these assurances, seemingly the entire national recruiting world was convinced that Perrilloux was a 100% lying poostabber. In fact, even though he had always maintained to his own coach he was Texas bound, his own coach seemingly even thought he was entirely full of it:

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1/20/05:

Q: On the recent speculation that LSU might have jumped into the driver's seat:

Coach Dautrive: I think there's some validity to that. I really do. What I'm going to ask Ryan to do … I like Les Miles and I just met him. I've known Mack Brown for 20 years and Greg Davis for 30 years … I think Ryan needs to do something by Monday or Tuesday. He doesn't need to tell LSU or Texas on signing day, he needs to tell them sooner to let them have a plan where they can get somebody else or whatever. Greg Davis wants to come in here next week and show him how to fill out scholarship papers and those types of things, but he doesn't want to make that trip if he doesn't have a chance to get the kid.But this is the same thing that I told Les Miles and it's the same thing I told Mack Brown … Ryan Perrilloux has never told me that he's not going to Texas. He keeps telling me that's where he's going and he keeps doing the hook 'em Horns sign.

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Texas coaches then visited Perrilloux personally just days before signing day to go over the final paperwork. Periiloux stated directly to Coach Greg Davis' face that the rumors were not true and he was going to Texas:

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1/28/05:

On Monday, Texas offensive coordinator Greg Davis visited with the quarterback in Louisiana and detailed how to fill out the necessary scholarship papers to Texas. During that meeting, East St. John Coach Larry Dauterive said, Perrilloux showed no signs of doubt.

"He was in here with Greg Davis and told Greg Davis he was going to Texas, and he told Mack Brown on the phone that he was going to Texas," Dauterive said.

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Its now January 31, 2005. Martellus Bennett is trying to pry his superglued fingers apart with threats and rhymes while trying to make an authentic "SLU-Tecksas" coin. A text message from Perrilloux comes to his cellphone which Rivals.com's Bobby Burton sees. It is masterfully phrased:

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"LSU. Holler"

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Lest there be any confusion, Bennett later confirmed that Perrilloux had been recruiting him to LSU.

Perriloux committed at a televised press conference to which he was fashionably late.

With a degree of self-sabotaging incompetence rarely seen outside the world of cartoon violence, Perrilloux of came out of the box in hour #1 directly blasting new future teammates:

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"JaMarcus Russell struggled last year, and Matt Flynn is definitely not a better quarterback than me. It's just a perfect opportunity."

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After answering questions in what he considered to be an expert-like fashion, Perrilloux literally channelled Freddie Boom Boom Washington:

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"I'm just natural like that, man," Perrilloux said while posing for a picture, holding a small child. "Notice the way it came out all smooth? I'm naturally smooth with the words."

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Not that this was necessary, but Perrilloux then shamelessly confirmed that he had been recruiting against Texas for LSU:

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He says, [regarding RJ Jackson and Brandon LaFell] "I got two, so I feel like I achieved something."

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Not surprisingly, even in the excremental world of football recruiting, this sent waves through the diarrhea:

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Bobby Burton (head of Rivals.com): "If anybody has heard me in Austin or elsewhere today on the radio, they know what I think of this situation. I've never seen anything like it in my 13 years doing this. It was just one bold-faced lie after another."

Tom Lemming (head of ESPN recruiting):"I told Rayn down in San An that I wasn't in favor of the way he was handling things. I think that when you give your word to someone -- you should keep it. That's the most important thing in the recruiting process. Ryan obviously had no intentions of keeping it and now Texas is the worst for it all."

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In the face of this disaster, hilariously, Perrilloux's stepfather (Breaux) towed a line that would have even made former Warsaw Pact ministers raise an eyebrow:

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Q: Do you feel that Ryan and your family was up front with the Texas coaches during recruiting?

Breaux: “Ah, yes, the whole time we were.”

Q: So does that mean Ryan and your family were telling Texas the whole time about the possibility of looking at LSU?

Breaux: “We didn’t say that. We didn’t put LSU no way in the picture.”

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Similarly, a New Orleans newspaper reported :

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"Perrilloux insists that he never intentionally deceived Texas coaches or fans."

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Perrilloux then insisted he had a 15 inch dong and controlled international shipping through telekinesis.

I know this may come as a shock in the world of Louisana recruiting, but Perrilloux's parents, who live in a purportedly not so great house, have purchased Perrilloux a Lincoln Navigator, albeit used. It would be irresponsible of me to say that they're sucking up to him now, manipulating him for 3 years & out to leech off of his NFL money like CBA coke whores. I would never say that. By the way, Breax bluntly informs us all that that studying behind Vince Young stuff earlier was 100% bullshit and Perrilloux should be starting immediately:

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Q: Are you saying that the offensive system at Texas wouldn’t be able to showcase Ryan’s abilities as well as other schools?

Breaux: “It was going to take too long. Being backup and behind Vince Young, I don’t think it was going to work, because Ryan want to get in all the time. He’s never been a backup quarterback since he was 7 years old. I don’t think him becoming a backup after 11 years is a good idea and that’s not what he’d want to do. I don’t think he should sit there as a freshman in my opinion.”

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Breux seems to think, as an 18 year old true freshman, Perrilloux might take away Heisman winning 5th year senior 2004 MNC winner Matt Leinart's job, even though Matt might have been the first player taken in the 2005 NFL draft had he declared:

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Breax: We know Ryan can give Vince or any quarterback in the country a run for their money. The guy at USC (Matt Leinhart), he would give him a run for his money. Ryan is one of the most accurate passers there is in the country.

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Breax's firm grip on reality seemed to rub off on his stepson:

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"I want to go in and throw for about 1,500 yards, maybe 2,000, and rush for 700, maybe 1,000," Perrilloux said. "With the great defense and the offense, I could definitely be a Heisman winner next year or at least a candidate."

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At this point, even Earl Woods is laughing "niggah, please."

Another shocker. Breaux thinks Perrilloux could compete with NFL QBs now:

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Breax: I would put him against anyone of the pro players.

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The following is more like Mr. Kotter grilling Vinny Barbarino than a sports interview:

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Q: When is the last time you or Ryan talked with the Texas coaches?

Breaux: “(Long pause…no answer.)”

Q: Were they informed of Ryan’s decision prior to him making his announcement today?

Breaux: “We don’t think we should have.”

Q: What happened with Texas? At some level, did something else happen?

Breaux: “I think Ryan would best answer that question. I really don’t know his point of view.”

Q: But something in your mind happened? What happened?

Breaux: “(Long pause…no answer.)”

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Its also becoming apparent that Perilloux's continued lying to Texas' coaches may have been, in part, at the direction of this pillar of credibility "keeping all options open", or something to that effect.

Never one to pass on self-sabotage, Perrilloux later tried to spin the fact that three Texas coaches got promotions elsewhere (Robinson to head coach of Syracuse, Tomey to head coach of San Jose State and Haywood to OC of Notre Dame) into an after-the-fact reason he might have left:

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"Everybody was leaving. That kind of let me know, maybe that's not such a great school. Maybe there was a little bit of stuff floating around in the air."

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But it doesn't just stop at Texas. Apparently, in addition, Perrilloux told Will Pegues (who was leaning to Ole Miss) that he was going to sign with Miss State, and Pegues signed at MSU thinking that'd be the case:

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Top recruit to LSU

Thursday, February 03, 2005

By NEAL McCREADY

Sports Reporter

Batesville, Miss., cornerback Derek Pegues, No. 8 on the Mobile Register's Super Southeast 120, pulled off a shocker early Wednesday when he signed with Mississippi State.

Minutes after faxing his paperwork to Starkville, Pegues asked a reporter if LaPlace, La., quarterback Ryan Perrilloux had made his decision official yet. Pegues said he had gotten a call from Perrilloux on Sunday informing him that he was plan ning to sign with Mississippi State.

Pegues soon found out that Perrilloux, the No. 1-ranked player on the Register's top 120, had spurned the Bulldogs and Texas and signed with LSU.

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Finally, as it turns out, incredibly, even the part about the recruiting process becoming tiring was a lie:

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As a twisted memento, the family intends to keep the bags full of opened and unopened letters. . . ."I'm missing it already," Perrilloux said. "I wish I could take another week just to mess around a little longer."

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That being said, just think where Texas would be if this kid wasn't a total douche. If he didn't exist, you'd probably be applauding Longhorn great Chase Daniel right now.

Well Texas hasn't been known for it's offensive innovation mostly just a certain star's offensive improvisation. So I think Daniel ended up in the best possible situation (hindsight of course).

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Well Texas hasn't been known for it's offensive innovation mostly just a certain star's offensive improvisation. So I think Daniel ended up in the best possible situation (hindsight of course).

Oh I agree with you completely. But if Texas had offered him sooner, he would have very strongly considered it. Although now it is much more enjoyable to listen to his Texas family make their plans to wear black and gold to Austin in October.

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Oh I agree with you completely. But if Texas had offered him sooner, he would have very strongly considered it. Although now it is much more enjoyable to listen to his Texas family make their plans to wear black and gold to Austin in October.

yeah I didn't mean my statement in a contentious manner at all. Poorly worded on my part.

I just like the way this story all unfolded. It's the whole "sometimes not getting what you want is best" thing. Like he was probably really bummed to get shunned by the place he always wanted to play... and now things have fallen in line for the heisman trophy race and possible National Title appearance. I'm not sure that would be the case had he gone to Texas.

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