Amazon.com Reviews

[LongJim]

This guy reviews Amazon stuff as a goof, and while some are hit-or-miss, some are hilarious:

Goof Reviewer

[Mean Green 93-98]

Some of those are hilarious!

[LongJim]

"Alcohol Swabs Regular Bd - 100 Each

Offered by AmericaRx

Price: $3.84

Availability: In Stock

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

Superior for their intended purpose, June 12, 2007

These convenient little alcohol swabs are perfect for small, one-off hand-cleansing and other little sanitation jobs; I always take a bunch of them with me when traveling. The alcohol contains a compound (an emetic) that will make you throw up if you swallow it, thus there is no danger that your Uncle David will squeeze the alcohol from a bunch of these into a glass and try to drink it like vodka (well, he might try, but it won't stay down and he will be safe). I have noticed that, unlike with other products, such as light bulbs and books, Am azon doesn't offer any USED ones. I wonder why that is."

[UNTFan23]

Pink Rubber Eraser (Pink Pearl)

Offered by FineArtStore

Price: $0.79

Availability: In Stock

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Too rough on the paper, February 25, 2008

This eraser will remove pencil markings okay, but it is far too abrasive to the paper upon which the markings have been made. Those softer white rubber-like erasers are far better, plus the "shavings" from those erasers can be clumped together and chewed like chewing gum. You can't do that with the pink pearl erasers, they've got a completely different texture and taste.

[LongJim]

"Jesus and the Twelve

Availability: Currently unavailable

12 used & new from $0.89

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

Extraorindinarily nice-looking men (except for Judas), January 1, 2007

"Four were fishermen. One was a tax collector. Not one was a priest or ordained clergyman. There were two sets of brothers."

This is primarily a picture book, portraying Jesus and his 12 disciples, with an accompanying page of brief narrative for each.

Jesus looks like one of the Bee Gees during the Disco Era, long groomed light hair and beard, with bright blue eyes. Only one of the 13 men is shown smiling -- Phillip, who is also wearing a patterned headband, making him look like the Patron Saint of Aerobic Workout Attire. Matthew looks old; Thomas is shown with furrowed brow, appropriately doubting. (Simon called) Peter looks like Grizzly Adams with reddish hair. Nine of the men had beards -- Andrew, Bartholomew (or Nathaniel) and John were clean-shaven. Jude was also known as "Thaddaeus." Jude is far preferable to Thaddaeus: It's impossible to imagine a song called "Hey Thaddaeus." Judas looks mean, black scruffy hair, thick eyebrows, an evil frown.

The men's hands all look alike, great big thick long thumbs and fingers; artist Alberta Raw (Sune') Richards apparently used the same pattern for everyone's hands. Models for the "photographic portraits" included an accountant, a machinist, a student and a salesman. Their names were not included, so we don't know exactly who looked like Jesus or Judas or any of the others.

There's a blurb at the end about Saint Paul, who was not one of the original 12. Paul could be called the "13th Man.""

[UNTFan23]

Gem Office Products Gem Clip Dispenser, Clear/Black

Offered by ArtCity, Inc.

Price: $3.05

Availability: In stock. Processing takes an additional 4 to 5 days.

4 used & new from $2.36

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Everything you could want, in a paper clip dispenser, January 16, 2008

I decided to break down, save up and buy my wife one of these for Christmas -- and I've not regretted it one bit. Hers functioned so well that I allocated funds from the food budget to purchase one of my own, and it was worth skipping a meal for. It says "gem clip" in its title, but it will actually hold and dispense paper clips of any brand, and the magnet in the lid will function with any variety of magnetic paper clip. Be aware, though, this product is not dishwasher or micro-wave safe... the heat from the dishwasher will warp it, and the metal in the lid should not be put into a microwave. Aside from those minor drawbacks, this paper-clip holder is utterly top notch!

[UNTLifer]

This one couldn't have been more true!

Beaches (Special Edition)

DVD ~ Robert Ball

Price: $12.99

Availability: In Stock

63 used & new from $5.42

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

An absolutely fabulous film, March 10, 2008

This is a terrific movie for a guy to watch with his wife or girlfriend. I saw it with my wife this past Saturday night. About 4:00, I walked to a nearby Ice House and had a few Shiner Bocks. On the way home, I stopped at the grocery store and got two more six-packs of Shiner -- Shiner Black, a new dark lager they just started making. It's very rich, with a mild hint of a coffee bouquet. I downed a couple while waiting for the pizza to arrive -- we ordered a giant deluxe pizza from a nearby restaurant -- and then we started watching the movie. I drank more beer and ate as much pizza as I could hold, and then drank all of the rest of the beer. I was able to time things such that the last bottle of Shiner fell empty about the time the closing credits started rolling, then I took a hot shower and went right to bed. GREAT beer I mean movie!