The Police Files

[emmitt01]

This is an idea that I've had for a while now and I'm finally getting around to it. In my line of work I see a great many crazy things that the average person just wouldn't believe. I thought "Hey, why not share the interesting stuff with the Mean Green Nation?" I thought it would be entertaining, and in many cases educational, to let you all know just what really goes on inside of a squad car and at jail. I had put it off but I hit a milestone recently...the 200 year mark. People I put in jail have now hit the cumulative 200 years prison time plateau. So, this is will be my running "diary" of sorts to share my zany misadventures...provided you all care enough to hear about them. So long as this thread doesn't get hijacked or become bogged down in the politics I will try so so so hard not to get into I'll continue to post from time to time more stuff. Believe me, I could preach about what human nature is REALLY like but I'll spare both the bleeding hearts and the tough on crime zealots. Think of this as "COPS" in written form without the hillbilly officers and horrible camera work. All names have been changed to protect the guilty...if I arrested them they're guilty, trust me.

Edited March 20, 2008 by emmitt01

[emmitt01]

Entry 1: Tonight I found myself posted at my favorite stop sign trap. It's on my beat, which is good for showing how "attentive" I am to my area, and it's a 4-way stop that just happens to be heavily traveled by drug sellers and buyers. Anyway, I was sitting there at about 8:45pm when I noticed a white van stop at the stop sign. The van proceeded through the intersection and the Camry behind him drove right along with him through the intersection without stopping (or even slowing down for that matter). I figure "Cool, easy ticket". So I stopped the car and approach the driver's side. Inside is a grandma looking lady and a bunch of loose papers and clothes. I ask for her DL and insurance and she obliges by giving me her DL...but says her insurance is expired. So I walk back to the car figuring I've got two for sure tickets. (I overlooked that she had a headlight out) Then I saw her date of birth. This lady was 51 years old. I actually started to feel kinda bad for pulling her over figuring that she was no doubt on her way home from her grandchild's house or something. Still, the law is the law. I got pretty much done with the tickets and was about to step out to have her sign when it occured to me to run her for warrants just in case...you never know, right? Lo and behold my MDT starting ringing like a fire alarm with all of the warrants that popped up. Garland wanted this lady. So did Mesquite. And so did the Dallas Sheriffs Office for...interference with police. So here I am now forced to put granny in jail. I got a female officer out there to search her, gotta go through the formality, and thought I'd be on my way to jail now to face the stares of my fellow officers and the "why'd you arrest a little old lady?" snickers. Five seconds into the search, though, my cover officer opens up this lady's wallet, leans it towards me and says "take a look." Inside of the coin pocket of this 51 year old lady's wallet are 8 loose crack rocks. Yep. Then she goes into her pockets and finds another larger crack rock in her left pants pocket. Wow, Emmitt, you're thinking...but it gets better. After handcuffing her and sitting her down in the squad car I now have to search her vehicle so I can have it towed. Not much of note really...like I said some loose papers and assorted clothing items. Oh yeah, and her 4th grade teacher's syllabus for the TAKS test! So someone's grandma got to go to jail for running a stop sign, no insurance, warrants out of Garland, warrants out of Mesquite, a warrant out of DSO, and 1.6 grams of crack cocaine...and the proverbial partridge in pear tree of a crack pipe in her purse.

Next time: Me, my AR-15, and 5 Hondurans.

[Charlie NT 73]

The Police Files- Good Stuff! Thanks for the "inside" view of police work!

I am sure you could write a book on what really goes on out in the public.

Do you have any funny stories, or really dumb crook stories you could share?

[KingDL1]

Emmitt,

Good stuff, good read. I look forward to your series.

[GreenBat]

Emmitt,

If she was hot and not a crack addict, she sounds about right for Plumm.

Keep her number and give it to Jim in about 5 to 10 years. She should be out of Jail by then!

[GreenMachine]

well I'm a finance manager at a mortgage company being investigated by the FBI and let me tell you something buddy, I have some wild stories to tell. For instance, this morning I had to do a vlookup formula to pull in some funding data to do an analysis on all FHA and VA loans with FICO's less than 680. Us finance guys are a wild and dangerous bunch, don't let the pocket protectors fool you.

[greenminer]

well I'm a finance manager at a mortgage company being investigated by the FBI and let me tell you something buddy, I have some wild stories to tell. For instance, this morning I had to do a vlookup formula to pull in some funding data to do an analysis on all FHA and VA loans with FICO's less than 680. Us finance guys are a wild and dangerous bunch, don't let the pocket protectors fool you.

Our department caught a broker lending a 1mil mortgage, conventional fixed I believe, to a guy working minimum wage at a yogurt shop. I don't know all the gooey details because it happened right before I was hired, but crazy stuff like that lingers in the office talk.

[GreenMachine]

Our department caught a broker lending a 1mil mortgage, conventional fixed I believe, to a guy working minimum wage at a yogurt shop. I don't know all the gooey details because it happened right before I was hired, but crazy stuff like that lingers in the office talk.

you animal!

[GoMeanGreen1999]

Good stuff Emmitt, keep it coming.

[emmitt01]

Entry 2: This incident takes us back in time about three weeks. I had just gone back to patrol from a two month stint working plain clothes and the first call I responded to was a kidnapping in progress at a McDonald's about 10 blocks from where I was driving around. Needless to say I flipped into high gear and went running, lights and sirens blaring, towards the McDonald's. Well, as is the case with all calls, the information...and thereby location of the kidnapping vehicle...was perpetually about 30 seconds behind real time. Finally after driving in what amounted to almost a big ol' circle over a distance of 10 or so miles one of our elements located the vehicle. Within twenty seconds there were about fifteen squad cars blocking all of northbound Forest Ln over 635. I hopped out, deployed my AR-15, and we started ordering the occupants out of the vehicle...first in English, and then succesfully in Spanish. Five guys come piling out of a Chevy Tahoe reaching for as much sky as they can grab! We got them all proned out on the ground and handcuffed and commenced to try to find out who had been kidnapped. (Funny thing was nobody was acting like a happy to be saved hostage) We got ahold of our complainant, the guy who called, and he said he didn't want to come to our location because he was scared of the guy driving the Tahoe. I guess the presence of 20 armed police officers didn't calm his fears. We sent a spanish speaking element to go to where he was located to get the scoop. Here's where things get fun. Turns out four of the five occupants in this Tahoe were actually relatives of the guy who called for police and the driver was a guy that our complainant had hired to smuggle his family members into the U.S. from Honduras by way of Mexico. Seems that when our complainant met with this guy to pay him for transporting them into America the guy decided he wanted to renegotiate their deal...by raising the price. Our complainant tells him he doesn't have anymore money so the other guy says "fine, I'll drive your family back to Mexico." So, of course, he dials 911 and his family members are now "kidnapping" victims. Thoroughly confused on what to do with this guys we called our local I.C.E. agent and he tells us to bring them all back to our police station. the I.C.E agent came and picked them all up and drove them off for deportation...our "kidnapper", the 4 "kidnapees", and the guy who dialed 911!

Just as an aside to this particular story, please don't take this story as being in any way a commentary of immigration policy. Lord knows there is already a tiresome thread in this forum where it is being beaten like the proverbial dead horse.

Next time: Car chases, creek beds, and I-time.

Edited March 21, 2008 by emmitt01

[GreenBat]

The I.C.E agent came and picked them all up and drove them off for deportation...our "kidnapper", the 4 "kidnapees", and the guy who dialed 911!

Just show you don't have to be a citizen to be a "STUPID MORON."

Keep up the good work Emmitt, you and you fellow officers, are always in my prayers when on patrol.

Edited March 21, 2008 by GreenBat

[GreenMachine]

right now we are having connectivity issues with a server in CA. This is getting scary, reports are due and we can't pull data. Its getting very tense and VP's are starting to get pissed. Don't know what will happen if we miss our reporting deadline. Important decisions have to be made based on our YTD GPM's, NPM's, and bottom line contribution (before and after corporate allocations). Man, its very eery around here right now, I'll keep you posted on this situation.

[GoMeanGreen1999]

Entry 2: This incident takes us back in time about three weeks. I had just gone back to patrol from a two month stint working plain clothes and the first call I responded to was a kidnapping in progress at a McDonald's about 10 blocks from where I was driving around. Needless to say I flipped into high gear and went running, lights and sirens blaring, towards the McDonald's. Well, as is the case with all calls, the information...and thereby location of the kidnapping vehicle...was perpetually about 30 seconds behind real time. Finally after driving in what amounted to almost a big ol' circle over a distance of 10 or so miles one of our elements located the vehicle. Within twenty seconds there were about fifteen squad cars blocking all of northbound Forest Ln over 635. I hopped out, deployed my AR-15, and we started ordering the occupants out of the vehicle...first in English, and then succesfully in Spanish. Five guys come piling out of a Chevy Tahoe reaching for as much sky as they can grab! We got them all proned out on the ground and handcuffed and commenced to try to find out who had been kidnapped. (Funny thing was nobody was acting like a happy to be saved hostage) We got ahold of our complainant, the guy who called, and he said he didn't want to come to our location because he was scared of the guy driving the Tahoe. I guess the presence of 20 armed police officers didn't calm his fears. We sent a spanish speaking element to go to where he was located to get the scoop. Here's where things get fun. Turns out four of the five occupants in this Tahoe were actually relatives of the guy who called for police and the driver was a guy that our complainant had hired to smuggle his family members into the U.S. from Honduras by way of Mexico. Seems that when our complainant met with this guy to pay him for transporting them into America the guy decided he wanted to renegotiate their deal...by raising the price. Our complainant tells him he doesn't have anymore money so the other guy says "fine, I'll drive your family back to Mexico." So, of course, he dials 911 and his family members are now "kidnapping" victims. Thoroughly confused on what to do with this guys we called our local I.C.E. agent and he tells us to bring them all back to our police station. the I.C.E agent came and picked them all up and drove them off for deportation...our "kidnapper", the 4 "kidnapees", and the guy who dialed 911!

Just as an aside to this particular story, please don't take this story as being in any way a commentary of immigration policy. Lord knows there is already a tiresome thread in this forum where it is being beaten like the proverbial dead horse.

Next time: Car chases, creek beds, and I-time.

Unreal. This stuff is pretty good, as one might just be hard pressed to make stuff like this up, as it would be hard to do.

[LongJim]

Good series! Keep 'em coming!

[KingDL1]

Unreal. This stuff is pretty good, as one might just be hard pressed to make stuff like this up, as it would be hard to do.

The truth is usually more unbelievable then fiction.

Great Stuff