Not Football Related

[NT Drummer]

Football Player: Welcome to football!

Lucy Draper: Welcome to foot... BALL!

[she kicks him in the crotch; he lets out a soprano wail]

[JayDub]

Captain Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?

Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.

Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?

[GreenBat]

Mariana: Don't pee in the water.

Beck: Why?

Mariana: A candiru, a vicious parasite will swim up the urine into your pau.

Beck: Swim up my what?

Mariana: Your pinto. It'll swim up your ding-dong. And once it gets in, you can't get it out.

Beck: [stammers] Well, then what?

Mariana: They have to amputate.

Beck: Not this boy's pinto. Uh-uh, not today!

The Rundown (2003)

[Cerebus]

Pretty much the entirety of Blazing Saddles, most of which I can't post on the board

Richard Pryor AND Mel Brooks? GENIUS!

[forevereagle]

Sheriff of Rottingham: I was angry at you before Locksley, but now I'm really pissed off!

Achoo: Pissed off? If I was that close to a horse's d#%@ I'd be worrying about being pissed on!

Robin Hood: Men in Tights

[NCMeanGreen]

Did you mean this?

Johnny Ringo: Don't any of ya have the guts to play for blood?

Doc Holliday: I'm your huckleberry.

Or were you just trying to piss in the cornflakes?

...thinkin' the same thing...

[Texas Stranger]

Pretty much the entirety of Blazing Saddles, most of which I can't post on the board

Come on Cerebus, just do the campfire scene. That's it.

As for mine how about this from 'Up In Smoke'....

Police Officer: Sir, may I see your license ?

Pedro (Cheech): Awww man, it's back there...on the bumper

[UNTLifer]

Lonesome Dove

Laurie: Gus, did you cheat?

Augustus McCrae: Won't say if I did and won't say if I didn't, but a man that won't cheat for a poke don't want one bad enough.

[Greenblood94]

To keep it forum related, anything from "Necessary Roughness"?

Ask and you shall receive...

Coach Rig: Not much of a crowd.

Coach Gennero: Well, at least we have the home field advantage.

Coach Rig: The Alamo was the home field.

Coach Gennero: Well, is it fatal?

Doctor: Indigestion? Only in Mexico.

[During an indoor practice, Popki's pass bounces off the rim of the basketball hoop]

Coach Rig: How about that, he stinks at two sports.

Coach Gennero: I can work with him, just butt out of my offense.

Coach Rig: If you can build an offense around a guy who throws like Edward Scissorhands, we're gonna be playing a hell of a lot of defense.

Chuck Niederman: The Blake man pitches to Sarge, The Sargester bumps into his own man. It's a fumble! FUMBLAYA! Sargie "Fumblina" Wilkerson fumbles the ball!

Suzanne Carter: Up yours Phil.

[walks away]

Dean Elias: She called me Phil.

Coach Rig: I don't wanna put any undue pressure on you guys, but Coach Gennero's last words were, win or I'll die.

Chuck Neiderman: I hope you stay tuned as the Texas State marching band does its salute to gun racks and open beverage containers; which is only legal in Texas.

Jarvis Edison: How many timeouts do we have left?

Paul Blake: Three.

Jarvis Edison: Can we take 'em all now?

For one of my favorite movie quotes, I defer to my signature:

[untjim1995]

---"What we've got here is... failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach [ COOL HAND LUKE ]

---Of course then there is the other one... listed in my signature. I love "Animal House" ... I think I knew a lot of most of those guys while at NT (lived at College Inn) even Blutarski.. I also Love the black night-club scene. My wife while young and very stupid (and before I knew her) even had to hide under a table after a fight broke in a black nightclub after Aretha Franklin failed to show up as she was supposed to do... She said they practically crawled out the door to leave. The future wife was was young and very stupid to be there with her roomies. There were no other "honkies" in the place.... LOL.

--Considering all the stupid things college kids do it is a miracle anyone reaches age 25 alive with all their body parts.

From that scene in Animal House: "You boys mind if we dance wiff yo dates?" " No not at all"!!

[CajunNation]

Pretty much the entirety of Blazing Saddles, most of which I can't post on the board

Richard Pryor AND Mel Brooks? GENIUS!

Also, just about any line from the first 45 minutes of Young Frakenstein.

Mel Brooks is genius.

[CajunNation]

"Are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?"--- Josey Wales

"Dyin' ain't much of a livin', boy"--- Josey Wales

"I saw you beat that man, like I never so no man get beat before, and the man...kept...coming...after you. Now we don't need that kinda man in our lives."---

Duke to Apollo Creed(Rocky II)

Edited August 22, 2007 by CajunNation

[fan19740]

"Party at the moon tower"

Dazed and Confused

[Cr1028]

"I don't give any f'n serviceman's discount"-cop

"Too bad, your old lady does" -Tom Highway

Heartbreak Ridge

"My hat flew off daddy." -Junior

"I hope your g. d. head was in it!" -Sheriff Buford T. Justice

Smokey and the Bandit

"I want you to kill every gopher on the course" -scottish greenskeeper

"If I kill all the golfers they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key" -Bill Murray

"Gophers not Golfers!"-greenskeeper

"We can do that, we don't even need a reason." -BM

"Do it man!"- GK

"Ok, lets do the same thing but with golfers."-BM

Caddyshack

[CMJ]

"What kind of a f*&%^d up tour is this?"

The Rock

[ColoradoEagle]

This is Spinal Tap

Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...

Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?

Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.

Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?

Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?

Marty DiBergi: I don't know.

Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?

Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.

Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.

Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?

Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven.

________________________________________________________

Collateral

Vincent: Someday? Someday my dream will come? One night you will wake up and discover it never happened. It's all turned around on you. It never will. Suddenly you are old. Didn't happen, and it never will, because you were never going to do it anyway. You'll push it into memory and then zone out in your barco lounger, being hypnotized by daytime TV for the rest of your life.

________________________________________________________

Fight Club

Tyler Durden: Now, a question of etiquette - as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch?

Tyler Durden: Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

Edited August 24, 2007 by ColoradoEagle

[FirefightnRick]

Lonesome Dove

Laurie: Gus, did you cheat?

Augustus McCrae: Won't say if I did and won't say if I didn't, but a man that won't cheat for a poke don't want one bad enough.

Since you brought up the greatest trail drive of all time.

Jake Spoon: Well, hell, boys. I'd damn sight rather be hung by my friends than by a bunch o' damn strangers.

You could go all day with that movie.

Rick

[untbowler]

"What happened to your mercy?"

"I am a count not a saint."

Count of Monte Cristo

[gksmith]

The two best from Office Space:

Drew: I'm thinking I might take that new chick from Logistics. If things go well I might be showing her my O-face. "Oh... Oh... Oh!" You know what I'm talkin' about. "Oh!"

and

Michael Bolton: We get caught laundering money, we're not going to white-collar resort prison. No, no, no. We're going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison.

[Green Mean]

Though its absolutely more hillarious watching it this is one of my favorite movie quotes....

"Just when I thought you couldnt get any dumber.......you go out and do something like this........AND TOTALLY REDEEM YOURSELF (missed high five in the process)!!!!!!

Movie: Dumb and Dumber

Scene: Where he sells the sheepdog car to this person for a little moped type vehicle.