UNT 21.....Open State 17.....Church Secretary "0"

[PlummMeanGreen]

These following were actually compiled from various church bulletins.

Obviously the church secretaries who typed these "bulletin announcements" must have been thinkin' about an upcoming Game Day (or whatever) and (sometimes) misspelled words, left out key letters in some of the words or mis-worded some of the phrases you might say?

Uh...........enjoy....

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** Due to the rector's illness, Monday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

** The 8'th graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet on Friday. The congregation is invited to attend the tragedy.

** The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

** Low Self -Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7:00 PM. Please use the back door.

** Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

** A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Tuesday.

** Don't let worry kill you. Let the church help you.

** Thursday night potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

** Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

** Ushers will eat latecomers.

** The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.

** The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

** Today--Christian Youth Fellowship House Sexuality Course. 1 p.m.--8 p.m. Please use the rear parking lot for this activity.

** Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

** The Outreach Committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

** Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

** Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

** Will the last person to leave please make sure that the perpetual light is extinguished.

Edited October 14, 2006 by PlummMeanGreen

[VideoEagle]

When I first read the headline, I thought for a moment "Church Secretary" was yet another school to which we would lose!