Jamario Thomas Facts

H-towngreen · February 9, 2006

Jamario Thomas once outran a herd on stampeding buffaloes. While only wearing one shoe.

Coach · February 9, 2006

Best. Thread. Ever.

I once saw him scissor kick Angela Lansbury.

emmitt01 · February 9, 2006

Because of Jamario Thomas the number of homeless defensive coordinators is greater than the number of homeless New Orleans citizens.

Forget Oreos...eat J-Mo cookies!

When asked if he would end his career at North Texas as the school's all-time leading rusher Jamario Thomas replied "I'm gonna leave Darrell K Royal stadium next year as the school's all-time leading rusher."

Jamario Thomas holds up Atlas

Jamario Thomas spelled backwards is dog.

Green Jackal · February 9, 2006

Osama bin Laden isn't hiding from the U.S. Armed Forces, he's hiding from Jamario.

Mario Brothers was not a game about short fat French guys trying to gather coins. It was a warning about the future coming of Jamario and his super powers.

Jamario's reduced number of yards last season was not due to a nagging injury as some thought. Jamario was just to tied up last season helping God remodel the heavens.

untgirl04 · February 9, 2006

Mario Brothers was not a game about short fat French guys trying to gather coins. It was a warning about the future coming of Jamario and his super powers.
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The Super Mario Brothers - Mario and Luigi - were French?

eagle60 · February 9, 2006

Mario and Luigi will be having Pasta Putanesca for dinner tonight. Not on the French menu!

gksmith · February 9, 2006

The Super Mario Brothers - Mario and Luigi - were French?
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...or Italian...you know...one of the two.

Eagle-96 · February 9, 2006

He invented the chimichanga.

He can tame wild gorillas with a mailbox flag.

It was the sight of Jamario's naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane.

He orchestrated the merger between Unicef and Smith & Wessen.

All the 'Yes' album covers are Thomas family photos.

greenminer · February 10, 2006

...or Italian...you know...one of the two.
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Perhaps le Italian

I am le tired. I am going to le sleep.

KingDL1 · February 10, 2006

Michael Jackson was a happy healthy black man until he pissed off Jamario Thomas.

Before and After

BeanCounterGrad'03 · February 10, 2006

Even though she created Jamario Thomas to battle and defeat the Devil, God wishes she never created him because she now sees him as competition.

Edited February 10, 2006 by BeanCounterGrad'03

Mad Hatter · February 10, 2006

Jamario Thomas CAN stand the heat, but wouldn't be in the kitchen anyway because he's not mortal and doesn't have to eat.

Moses didn't part the Red Sea, it was J-Mo.......He was running and the water was afraid to be in his way. Moses just took advantage of the situation.

Edited February 10, 2006 by Mad Hatter

UNTLifer · February 10, 2006

Even though she created Jamario Thomas to battle and defeat the Devil, God wishes she never created him because she now sees him as competition.
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She?

"Got a Hemi in it?" "No, I've got a J-Mo!"

Mad Hatter · February 10, 2006

Jamario Thomas CAN and DOES squeeze blood from a turnip. That way people will believe he's human instead of a machine.

If Johnny "F'n" Quinn can catch anything that comes his way, and J-Mo can't be caught, what would happen if the two came together? My guess? The end of civilization as we know it.

emmitt01 · February 11, 2006

When his car stops Jamario Thomas keeps spinnin'

Jamario Thomas leads horses to water and makes them drink

Jamario Thomas' teeth are made of normal enamel...the rest of him is platinum and diamonds

untgirl04 · February 11, 2006

Jamario Thomas is so hot, M&Ms melt in his mouth AND in his hand.

BeanCounterGrad'03 · February 11, 2006

She?
"Got a Hemi in it?" "No, I've got a J-Mo!"
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Thought I'd see how many people caught that!

Jamario Thomas has a towing capacity of 18,000 lbs.

greenminer · February 11, 2006

Thought I'd see how many people caught that!
Jamario Thomas has a towing capacity of 18,000 lbs.
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Ironically, J-Mo hasn't ever had to utilize his towing capacity. Whenever he jukes, the earth's crust shifts according to however much thrust he used. Instead of moving the target to its destination, J-Mo jukes its destination to the target.

PS: someone should put these together and send them to Dickey for a good laugh. This thread is awesome.

Edited February 11, 2006 by greenminer

bigrobdsp · February 13, 2006

When his car stops Jamario Thomas keeps spinnin'

I have a new #1

GreenMachine · February 13, 2006

As a matter of fact, at Jo-Mo's house, money does grow on trees.

EagleD · February 13, 2006

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Jamario Thomas.

Quoner · February 14, 2006

If Johnny "F'n" Quinn can catch anything that comes his way, and J-Mo can't be caught, what would happen if the two came together? My guess? The end of civilization as we know it.
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I think you'd get about 900 yards of total offense and one soiled pair of jeans....

Johnny does have nice hands though...maybe he should rub Jamario's hammy to make to make sure nothing goes wrong next year.

Nate Dogg 4 Ever!!!!