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Jamario Thomas Facts

bigrobdsp

By bigrobdsp
in Mean Green Football

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bigrobdsp Newbie

bigrobdsp

Posted
Posted

1. jamario thomas once made a cut so hard that the earth actually spun the wrong direction for 10 seconds... luckily he cut back and the world was right again.

2. every picture you have ever seen of jamario thomas is computer generated, as humans have yet to invent a camera that can capture an image that fast.

3. Jamario Thomas CAN eat just one lays potato chip

4. Jamario Thomas has never been injured. that was a body double. he was off fighting crime and savin lives

5. a king cobra once struck at jamario thomas' jugular. the snake soon died of starvation after all of its teeth were shattered.

Travis Mentor

Travis

Posted
Posted (edited)

6. Jamario Thomas CAN touch MC Hammer.

7. If you call Jamario Thomas "Super Jamario" to his face, Jamario will end you. Coincidentally, he will do the same if you pass him by on his right side.

8. Jamario Thomas has never cried. Ever. Even when he got a papercut.

9. Jamario Thomas doesn't walk on water, the water kisses his feet.

10. A foolish man once asked Jamario Thomas, "Boxers or briefs?" Jamario laughed a mighty and cheerful laugh, then tore the man's intestines out of his butt and used them to strangle him. Yes, remarkable as it may sound, it appears there are some people who are simply unaware that a man as pimp as Jamario can't help but go commando.

11. The chief export of Jamario Thomas is pain.

12. Simply by pulling on both ends, Jamario Thomas can stretch diamonds back into coal.

13. What do you get when you cross Jamario Thomas and a pair of cowboy boots? A roundhouse kick to the forehead... don't ever cross Jamario Thomas.

14. There is a 100% chance that Jamario Thomas is your father.

Edited by Travis
Travis Mentor

Travis

Posted
Posted (edited)

Jamario Thomas sleeps with a night light, not because he is afraid of the dark; because the dark is afraid of him.

Jamario Thomas' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

wait wait.. one more.. and this is my favorite...

Jamario Thomas is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Edited by Travis
Zeke Collaborator

Zeke

Posted
Posted (edited)

Jamario Thomas actually lost his virginity before his parents.

The people of Atlantis made a statue of Jamario Thomas. He didn`t like it…

Edited by Zeke
emmitt01 Grand Master

emmitt01

Posted
Posted

Jamario Thomas is so fast he can dodge rays of light

The Spice Girls really broke up because, unlike Eminem, Jamario Thomas could figure out which one of them he wanted to impregnate...all of them.

Choosy moms choose Jamario, not Jiff

George W. Bush is now set to invade Denton, TX because the CIA believes Jamario Thomas to be a WMD

Jamario Thomas can write posts longer than those of Plumm Mean Green

Baby Arm! Newbie

Baby Arm!

Posted
Posted

Jamario Thomas can write posts longer than those of Plumm Mean Green

laugh.gif Now thats funny! laugh.gif

Since you have envoked the name of PMG, What's the over/under on how long till he uses it as an excuse to hijack this thread with yet another epistle on the ills in Mean Green Country?

meangreendork Enthusiast

meangreendork

Posted
Posted

I'll take a gander on the PMG Hijack time: From 2:11am- I say less than 8 hours. He's already gathering a group of terrorists by which to hijack this thread.

And, I'm also assuming that the CIA probes are seeing the words "terrorist" and "hijack" so they may be monitoring this board now.

Cerebus Experienced

Cerebus

Posted
Posted

Superman wears Jamario Thomas pajamas to bed.

Jamario Thomas only needs one to tango.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Jamario Thomas, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

emmitt01 Grand Master

emmitt01

Posted
Posted

In the mind of Jamario Thomas Green Grenade posts make perfect sense.

UNT Playmaker isn't crazy, a hurricane really was headed towards Denton...It was Jamario Thomas

The true reason Demario Thomas isn't at NT yet is that two of the Thomas brothers in the same place at the same time would cause a rift in the space/time continuum.

Season ticket sales aren't allowed to go over 3,000 for a reason...Jamario Thomas needs the rest of the stadium's space for his aura.

As we speak the line for next year's game is Jamario Thomas over SMU by 20.

bigrobdsp Newbie

bigrobdsp

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

6. jamario thomas built a time machine and went back a few centuries. there he met a horse who insulted him. jamario kicked the horse in the jaw. we know this horses descendents as Giraffes.

Edited by bigrobdsp
medpilot21 Newbie

medpilot21

Posted
Posted

Jamario is so fast...

The back of his practice jersey says "If you can read this, your faster than the DB's at Colorado"..

His Dodge truck commercial would say "Hemi...in the drivers seat"

Jamario's Saturday horriscopes: today you will embarrass a defensive unit so bad the opposing coordinator will use your name in his resignation speech.

"It was embarrassing, really... we got J-Mo'd. I dont need this aggravation.. I'm going back to Walmart"

Jamario's anti-drug policy: "Kids, I dont take drugs because they are bad for your body. If you want to be fast like me, say NO to drugs.. Oh, and say NO to Baylor. Fast people dont go to Baylor "

GMG!!! biggrin.gif

emmitt01 Grand Master

emmitt01

Posted
Posted

After meeting Jamario Thomas Puff Daddy was forced to proclaim "We can stop" and "We will stop".

After being with Jamario Thomas women exclaim that he, not BMW, is the "ultimate driving experience."

Eagle-96 Explorer

Eagle-96

Posted
Posted

His poop is used as currency in Argentina.

He framed Roger Rabbit.

He hosted the Grammys and gave every award to Corey Hart.

He sweats Gatorade

He sleeps eight hours a night! ........ well, he's pretty normal when it comes to that.

bigrobdsp Newbie

bigrobdsp

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

7. Jamario Thomas used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, Jamario killed him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off easy.

8. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Jamario Thomas once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

Edited by bigrobdsp
greenminer Grand Master

greenminer

Posted
Posted

Okay okay, since someone broke the Braskey ice:

He once punched a hole in a cow just so he could see who was comin' up the road

Jamario ranked 18th in the AP College Football Poll.

He breast-feeds John Madden!

His big toe is holding up Australia!

H-towngreen Newbie

H-towngreen

Posted
Posted (edited)

The dinasaurs made fun of Jamario once. ONLY ONCE.

Who won the fight between Superman and Batman? Jamario Thomas

When Jamario falls into a pool J-MO doesnt get wet the pool gets Jamarioed.

Jamario Thomas was actually there when JFK was killed. J-Mo actually caught Oswalds bullets with his teeth. JFK's head then exploded from shear amazement.

God created earth on the 8th day and J-Mo on the 9th.

J-mo isnt hung like a horse. Horses are hung like J-MO.

If you can see J-Mo he can see you. If you can't see J-Mo your seconds away from death.

Jamario Thomas once impregnated 19 european nuns. They then gave birth to the 1972 Dolphins.

Jamario Thomas trucked his way out of his mothers womb.

The bible was originally called Jamario Thomas and friends.

Edited by H-towngreen
H-towngreen Newbie

H-towngreen

Posted
Posted

Any man in the prescence of J-MO instantly becomes sterile.

Jamario can make any lesbian turn straight.

Freddy Kruger and Micheal Myers have nightmares of Jamario.

Jamario can not swim just for the simple fact that he can walk on water.

If you say Jamrio Thomas 5 times in the mirror you die of massive truckage.

When Jamario eats beans he doesnt get gas.

Ever wonder what happened to Jimmy Hoffa. Jamario Thomas

J-Mo once tamed wild stallions, he tamed them so well, we now know them as Shetland ponys.

A coin flipped will always land 50/50 unless J-Mo is in the room. Then it will land on it's side everytime.

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