Of All The Performances on Saturday

[KingDL1]

I see the the board is in full swing early this Football Season, damn glad to see it.

I could not wait for this season to start.

[untStein]

DD needs to drink Coke Zero out of a martini glass... thats what I would do.

[Eagle91Gator95]

And to top it all off, were you aware that he was injured early in the contest? My inside sources on the training staff have informed me that Diet Coke Guy actually broke the nail on his top-popping finger early in the second quarter!!!

Team physicians were able to reduce the displaced nail and secure it in place with a bandage and some tape, and resected it after the game with a pair of clippers. Have you ever tried to pop a top with a bandaged finger? Now imagine the pressure of trying to pop that top, moving up and down the field, while DD is right there in your face wanting that refreshment!! This kid has a future, and I feel much better about the next couple of years for our program!!

[Cerebus]

The Mean Green Report has a special report on the Diet Coke Guy and a possible stadium funding deal.*

MGR Subscribers can login <a href=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aspartame>here</a>.

*The above is not a report. Any similarities between this post and an actual Mean Green Report were a horrible, horrible coincidence. There is no spoon. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball<SUP><SMALL>TM</SMALL></SUP>.

[Texas Stranger]

So was C-2 Guy cut from the squad ? It seemed like although he had potential, he was basically a failed bit. Was there any mention of him in the MGR ?

[Cerebus]

So was C-2 Guy cut from the squad ?  It seemed like although he had potential, he was basically a failed bit.  Was there any mention of him in the MGR ?

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[UNTFan23]

I see Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper gets no love in this thread.

[SilverEagle]

You know. You really can't find great bullsh$t like this on any other college football message board.

We're the best!

Edited September 13, 2005 by SilverEagle

[emmitt01]

I've heard that diet coke guy could get a naming rights deal if we build a new stadium. The coca cola company has said that they don't consider Dickey or the Mean Green very intriguing but the thought of a diet coke guy pouring at the intersection of two major highways has them wetting their pants.

Plus, I heard that the only reason diet coke guy is still around is because RV is trying to exercise some rebellion. Lee Jackson and his branding committee demanded that we switch to having a Pepsi guy because the red, white, and blue color scheme on the can shows "that North Texas is located in America" and their circular logo shows "that North Texas has come full circle from its past into the present." RV put his foot down and diet coke guy remains. We may have lost the logo battle but we won the soft drink war!

[HoustonEagle]

I see Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper gets no love in this thread.

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Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper guy left the squad after his first year to try out for the dance team. The move was clear to him after watching the movie "Dazed and Confused". Realizing that he to "just wants to dance".

[UNTFan23]

Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper guy left the squad after his first year to try out for the dance team. The move was clear to him after watching the movie "Dazed and Confused".  Realizing that he to "just wants to dance".

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Next thing you know they'll be letting Diet Pepsi machines play football ...

[j0nat8an]

I've heard that diet coke guy could get a naming rights deal if we build a new stadium.  The coca cola company has said that they don't consider Dickey or the Mean Green very intriguing but the thought of a diet coke guy pouring at the intersection of two major highways has them wetting their pants.

Plus, I heard that the only reason diet coke guy is still around is because RV is trying to exercise some rebellion.  Lee Jackson and his branding committee demanded that we switch to having a Pepsi guy because the red, white, and blue color scheme on the can shows "that North Texas is located in America" and their circular logo shows "that North Texas has come full circle from its past into the present."  RV put his foot down and diet coke guy remains.  We may have lost the logo battle but we won the soft drink war!

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hilarious!

[Eagle-96]

NCAA Looks Into Possible Violations

03:13 AM CDT on Tuesday, September 13, 2005

By Bill Braskey / The Denton Daily-Times-Standard-Herald-Dispatch-Free Press

The NCAA is looking into possible illegal payments and recruiting violations involving the University of North Texas and their Sideline Refreshment Technician. Former SRT Jimmy "Smooth Pour" Franklin admitted to investigators that he received money, plane tickets, and free Sprite during his 4 years as the starting SRT for head coach Darrell Dickey. Franklin also aluded to possible perks during his time as a "chaperone" for visiting recruits. " When I picked up a recruit at the airport, the limo was full of Cokes, Sprites, Diet Cokes, heck there were even a few Pibb Xtras in the cooler. It doen't take a brain surgeon to realize that I didn't pay for those "refreshments". What the recruits and his friends didn't drink, I got to take home for free. I wasn't proud of it but the drinks were so tasty and refreshing, I couldn't help myself." Investigators also spoke with Ira "No Foam" Goldstein(1999-2000). Goldstein was a much heralded JUCO transfer that was being courted by the likes of Texas, OU, and Michigan. Many people inside athletic event drink service circles were shocked that North Texas was able to land such a highly touted recruit. We may now know why he chose NT. Inside sources reveal that No Foam has told the NCAA that he received many of the same perks that Smooth Pour did. Goldstein is also purported to never have attended a class while enrolled at North Texas. After collge, Goldstein was a first round draft pick of the New York Giants. In his first game, Goldstein spilled not one, but two drinks on Jim Fassel in the first half. He was demoted to second team and quickly began a downward spiral. Goldstein became addicted to Jolt Cola and was drinking a 12 pack a day. North Texas officials had no comment to the allegations except for the fact that they beleive Goldstein is now coming forward to drum up sales of his new book, Have Drinks, Will Travel. NCAA investigators should complete the inquiry by next week.

Edited September 13, 2005 by Eagle-96

[El Paso Eagle]

Coke Zero is definitely the way to go!  Dickey needs to show he's cutting edge.  Diet Coke is passe'.

ROTGL!

GMG!

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One thing to say about DD – he sticks with what he knows will work. While others may switch to the “flavor” of the week, DD sticks to what is proven. His goal is not to impress others, but rather to quench that inner thirst!

[Coach]

It's mindless banter like this that makes Ethan Szatmary take off his monocle and scoff at you "idiots".

[GreenBat]

No Wonder the DRC calls this the "IDIOT" Board.

This thread is hilarious!

[Eagle-96]

Hello my name is Eagle-96 and I'm a recovering idiot.

[j0nat8an]

NCAA Looks Into Possible Violations

03:13 AM CDT on Tuesday, September 13, 2005

By Bill Braskey / The Denton Daily-Times-Standard-Herald-Dispatch-Free Press

The NCAA is looking into possible illegal payments and recruiting violations involving the University of North Texas and their Sideline Refreshment Technician. Former SRT Jimmy "Smooth Pour" Franklin admitted to investigators that he received money, plane tickets, and free Sprite during his 4 years as the starting SRT for head coach Darrell Dickey. Franklin also aluded to possible perks during his time as a "chaperone" for visiting recruits. " When I picked up a recruit at the airport, the limo was full of Cokes, Sprites, Diet Cokes, heck there were even a few Pibb Xtras in the cooler. It doen't take a brain surgeon to realize that I didn't pay for those "refreshments". What the recruits and his friends didn't drink, I got to take home for free. I wasn't proud of it but the drinks were so tasty and refreshing, I couldn't help myself." Investigators also spoke with Ira "No Foam" Goldstein(1999-2000). Goldstein was a much heralded JUCO transfer that was being courted by the likes of Texas, OU, and Michigan. Many people inside athletic event drink service circles were shocked that North Texas was able to land such a highly touted recruit. We may now know why he chose NT. Inside sources reveal that No Foam has told the NCAA that he received many of the same perks that Smooth Pour did. Goldstein is also purported to never have attended a class while enrolled at North Texas. After collge, Goldstein was a first round draft pick of the New York Giants. In his first game, Goldstein spilled not one, but two drinks on Jim Fassel in the first half. He was demoted to second team and quickly began a downward spiral. Goldstein became addicted to Jolt Cola and was drinking a 12 pack a day. North Texas officials had no comment to the allegations except for the fact that they beleive Goldstein is now coming forward to drum up sales of his new book, Have Drinks, Will Travel. NCAA investigators should complete the inquiry by next week.

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complete genius!

[Cerebus]

It's mindless banter like this that makes Ethan Szatmary take off his monocle and scoff at you "idiots".

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That may be some of the most adroit double-edge sarcasm I have seen in quite a while.

So many levels within levels. The mind boggles.

Coach, you can't stop him, you can only hope to contain him.

[Stan R]

It's really too bad monocles sort of aren't in style anymore, isn't it? I guess train conductors could still sport one.