Super Jamario's son academically ineligible!

Coach · July 11, 2005

I have talked to sources within the program that have confirmed, the future son of Jamario Thomas will be ineligible for the 2029 season. He apparently has failed World Lit II after skipping several classes to take his horse and buggy to Lake Ray Roberts for two-eyed bird spotting.

To clear up the confusion, gas and oil will be too expensive for the average person, so many will go back to horses for transportation. Also, spotting a two-eyed bird now is not a big deal, but in 2029, they will be rare thanks to the mutation from numerous nuclear leaks.

Again, my source is very good, and we should all just accept this fact and move on.