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Posted

At first glance, Emmitt would appear to be the most athletic specimen of the bunch. Rumor has it that he enjoy grandaddy's cough syrup a little bit on the weekends so oposing teams will have to wish for a major hangover or liver shutdown to stop this potential offensive threat.

Posted

Cerebus' Take:

His "mace" move has been know to bring defenders to thier knees, and make them wet themselves.

Any player who tackles him will be loudly denounced as the "man" who is "trying to keep him down".

Over/Under on the number of opposing players he will arrest if his team loses: 5

Posted (edited)

After the tailgating tonite...it is evident that me and EMmitt do not need to be on the same team....it would be OVER before it started....it would be like Aikman to Irvin....Like Young to Rice....Like Manning to Ty Law....you know the greatest connections of all time!

Edited by UNT_92_Fan
Posted

Emmitt has quite a storied athletic past.

After leading his first little-league football team (the "Twinkies") to their first ever winning season, Emmitt set his sites on bigger an better things. The Three-time "Best Blanket" winner of the national kniting competition, Emmitt went back to his football roots to see if his knitting successes would translate to the gridiron. After years of paying his dues, carrying towels and water bottles, and watching less talented...but more inteligent players reach the limelite...Emmitt was READY.

Now, poised to make his name a household word, Emmitt took to the parking lot on a warm sarturday in Norman. Facing him would be one of the best "cover" safeties in Beer-league football!!! Scared, and unsure, Emmitt glanced across the line to face the #37 jersey that continued to haunt him in his sleep. Medpilot was there, and this was no nightmare!!! Emmitt would have to make his name against one of the best players to ever take the concrete. As the ball was snapped, a voice inside of Emmitt began to wisper the words that will forever remain the banner of underachieving receivers everywhere...."Go on...this guy cant hurt you..you are so plastered that you wouldnt feel it anyway!!!"....... Those famouse words ringing confidently in Emmitts ears, he lept across the line and started his route! Medpilot stepped into him and delivered a ferroucious JAM, but Emmitt was not to be denied. Down the parking lot he flew like a missile, and the ball was on it's way!!! All Emmitt had to do was make the catch, and make it he did!!! It was a TOUCHDOWN as the crowd went wild!!! The little Twinkie had grown up and made his dreams come true!!!! When interviewed after the game, Medpilot was quoted as saying "That kid is fast!!!, but he smells like Jack Daniels???"

GMG!!!

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