GMG Crowdfund, Round 2: A Delicious Proposal

[TheTastyGreek]

When I think back on this disappointing weekend in UNT Sports history... There's one image above all others that will haunt me as a symbol of all that's wrong and seemingly hopeless about this program. For anyone who didn't read Christopher Walker's post in another thread...

 

You know what the most bizarre sight of yesterday was for me anyway?

Walking around the Boulevard, saying hey to my comrades staffing the $30-a-head Alumni/Advancement tailgating tent, I noticed I couldn't see RV anywhere. Odd. Well wait, nope there he is, 80 feet away under a tree eating a Jimmy Johns sandwich at a table full of Jimmy Johns sandwiches all by him self save for one other Advancement staffer. There wasn't another person in their vicinity for 40 feet. It was bizarre and wholly fitting.

There's something witty and analogous from this sighting that could speak to his entire career here at North Texas, but it's eluding me.

 

We may disagree about our prospects for this season. We may disagree about Coach Mac, about our quarterback situation, about our future as an athletics program. We may disagree about the best way forward. We may disagree about support and commitments. We may even disagree about how to be angry!

But no matter who we are and what subjective opinions we may believe, there's one undeniable, objective fact that we can all agree on...

Jimmy Johns is terrible.

Absolutely godawful.

A poison pit of despair.

A sandwich of last resort for those who have given up on life.

A culinary white flag for a man without hope.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

People, a man eating Jimmy Johns is a man who doesn't realize that there are better alternatives out there, or doesn't feel like he's worthy of those better options, or doesn't think that he has the budget to enjoy those better options. 

A man eating Jimmy Johns is a man who has, for one reason or another, resigned himself to the absolute lowest level of sustenance. Something that barely even qualifies as a sandwich fit for human consumption. The bottom level of competition in the Sandwich Championship Subdivision. 

...and Rick Villarreal was a man eating Jimmy Johns.

Something must be done. 

Something WILL be done. 

And we will do it together. 

GoMeanGreen 2015 Crowdfund v2.0:
"Buy Rick Villarreal a decent sandwich!"

Friends, if we can show Rick V. that he can expect and demand more out of a sandwich... Maybe it will show him that he can demand more out of other important things in his life and career! If we can change the way he thinks about his standards in sandwich purchase and consumption, maybe it can change his standards elsewhere. 

So, I am pleased to announce that we are doing a public crowdfund to purchase Rick V. a gift card to Which Wich, the best franchise chain sandwich shop in the Metroplex area. 

FAQs:

How much money are we trying to raise?

There are several potential levels of successful funding. Among the thresholds we're trying to reach are: (All totals include sales tax)

• $5.72 = One sandwich of choice (not including specialty sandwich "The Wicked"); no beverage (complimentary water available).
• $8.93 = One non-Wicked sandwich of choice, plus a chips and drink combo (soda or tea, unlimited refills - same visit only).
• $20.04 = Two Wicked sandwiches, plus two chips and drink combos (so Rick can enjoy this sandwich in the company of a friend, co-worker, or loved one).
• $22.76 = Two Wicked sandwiches + chips and drink combos, with 2 desserts (cookie, brownie, or rice krispie treat).

What happens if we raise more than $22.76? 

Most employers have ethics guidelines that limit the cash value of gifts that employees are allowed to accept. Though the amount varies from company to company, most set the bar at $50. Less common, but not unheard of, is a $25 limit. To make sure Rick can actually accept this gift, we're going to play it safe and set the maximum value of his Which Wich gift card at $25. 

If we succeed at raising more than $25, any additional money will be used to purchase a second Which Wich gift card, this time on behalf of Dan McCarney. Though we don't have any eyewitness evidence regarding Coach McCarney's sandwich consumption habits... We'll hope that the delicious taste of a Which Wich sandwich (and possible sides/desserts) might also inspire Coach Mac to believe that he can expect and demand more than what he may or may not be currently settling for in the realm of sandwich options, or any other areas that may fall under his supervision. 

If, somehow, we manage to raise more than $50, additional funds will be used to purchase a third Which Wich gift card, this one on behalf of UNT President Neal Smatresk. The same philosophy applies. 

If, by some strange miracle, we manage to raise more than $75... Any additional money will be applied to Which Wich gift cards of no more than $25, assigned and distributed to UNT Athletics Department staffers, starting in reverse-alphabetical order (keep your fingers crossed, Patty Wells!).

If, somehow, we raise over $1,350... Any and all additional money will be spent to buy a Jimmy Johns gift card on behalf of Tony Benford, redeemable only at those Jimmy Johns locations historically proven to spread salmonella and/or e.coli.

Why should I donate money to feed Rick V? The guy makes way more money than I do! 

The goal here is to inspire Rick. It's a small step, but one that could potentially change his whole perspective on life. Also, given that Jimmy Johns is proven to be a festering pit of disease and death... Rick V may, in fact, be suicidal.

Look at how the state of our athletics program has impacted all of us emotionally. Now, imagine it was all on your shoulders. If we're handling things this poorly, who knows what mental shape Rick V might be in? Whether or not you like the man, or believe he ought to keep his job... Basic human decency says we ought to reach out to someone who has lost the will to live. And a man eating Jimmy Johns is not a man who values his own life. 

OK, I'm sold. How can I donate? 

This turned out to be a bit tricky... GoFundMe has a $500 minimum goal, and that amount is way, way above where an initiative like this deserves to be potentially funded. Other options like Kickstarter offer no-minimum goals, but screen and eliminate crowdfund campaigns they deem inappropriate. And, because that potato salad guy seems to have ruined it for everyone... Kickstarter's screening process makes it seem like a dead end, too. 

So, we're going old school with this. I'm an old fashioned guy, and we'll raise money the old fashioned way. My wife helped me decorate an old cigar box with green construction paper, and you can donate directly into the fundraising box this Saturday (9/19/15), before or during the Rice game.

The top and sides of the box are decorated with spirit branded fake currency (from the UNT chocolate bars that were available at Albertsons once upon a time) and with ticket stubs from football games that UNT lost. The underside of the lid features a special message of gratitude... But you'll have to donate to see it! 

How can I find you?

Anyone who knows what I look like can find me in my usual seats (Section 104) during the game. Anyone who doesn't know me? We'll be flying my custom Greek UNT battle flag during tailgating before the game (Google the Greek flag, then look for a green version flying over a black pickup or a grey Honda Pilot). Stop by, say hello. Anyone under the tent that's a guy will smile and point you in my direction (or be holding the box while I socialize in the parking lot and/or travel back and forth to the toilet). Anyone that's female will probably sigh, shake their heads, and point you in my direction anyway. 

What is the deadline to make a donation?

You should probably make your donation in the parking lot before the game at our tailgate tent. You can also make a donation in the stadium, provided you recognize and know where to find me during the game. You can donate up until the game ends (or until I get fed up and leave, or my wife gets overheated and bored, whichever may come first). 

Any other guidelines for making a contribution?

Yes! Because the purpose of this effort is to inspire change... In that spirit, only donations of change will be accepted. No paper currency, please. Definitely no checks, and no credit cards. Dig deep in your pocket, but only your pants pocket, and give until it hurts and/or until you run out of coins that you're carrying. 

How will Rick (and potentially Coach Mac, President Smatresk, and others) receive their gift cards?

Right now, the expectation is that I'll come home from the game on Saturday, cry, shower, and cry some more until I fall asleep and dream of sweet vengeance against Rice. Sunday, I'll wake up, go cash in the collected coins, and buy the gift card(s) at the Which Wich location nearest me. I'll mail them out on Monday, and presumably they should arrive in Denton by the 24th or 25th. Rick should probably pack a bag lunch through that week, though, just to be safe.

Please note: I will cover all postage expenses. 100% of your donation will go towards buying inspirational sandwiches (or sides, beverages, and desserts, at the discretion of the recipients). This method of crowdfunding has the benefit of ensuring zero transaction fees, and I will put a big rubber band around the top of the box to make sure that no coins fall out in my car on the way home from Apogee. What comes out of your pocket all ends up in the mouth and stomach of Rick Villarreal, or another UNT Athletics official, as outlined above. 

Is this a joke? Is this supposed to be funny?

In reverse order... Yes, this is supposed to be funny. But NO, this is NOT a joke. I'm completely serious. And, I'm going to let my money do the talking. 

That's 81 cents, people. Cash money, straight from my own pocket. It's already in the box. That means that we're just $4.91 from the minimum viable threshold to make this endeavor a success.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

We often find ourselves asking: "What can I do? How can I change this situation for the better?"

I'm not a rich man. Most of you reading this are equally unlikely to ever make a donation that can build a facility, or pay for a buyout, or anything that people usually equate with a potential clear and positive impact on our program. 

But, what we can do is send a message, in the form of a franchise chain sandwich shop gift card. We can tell Rick Villarreal to expect more. To demand more. To not settle for the crap he's eating, and to set the bar higher. That he can do better, and that we INSIST he do better. That he not settle for the level of defeat and failure symbolized by a Jimmy Johns sandwich. 

And if enough people happen to have some spare change on Saturday... We can send that message to Dan McCarney. And President Smatresk. And Patty Wells. And, if we dream big enough and dig deep enough... We might just be able to poison and eliminate Tony Benford, too. 

A grain of sand can start a landslide. A drop of rain can break a dam and cause a flood. 

Maybe, just maybe, a decent franchise chain sandwich can be the little jostle that shakes this whole thing up. Maybe we can wake the sleeping giant. Maybe we can be the next Boise State. 

So grab your sock full of pennies. Open up your ashtray, and clear out the change in there. Flip up your couch cushions. Do it for North Texas. Maybe we can inspire the change we need with the change we have. 

If nothing else, Rick V. can eat a decent sandwich, for crying out loud. 

See you on Saturday. Bring some coins with you. 

[James]

I worked at Jimmy John's for two years. I have nothing against the company. Great stuff. Wonderfully funny post though. 

[TheTastyGreek]

I worked at Jimmy John's for two years.  

You are an accomplice to crimes against humanity. 

I have nothing against the company.  

You show no remorse. The authorities will prosecute you aggressively. And you will deserve it. 

Great stuff.  

You are obviously trying to plant the seeds for an insanity defense. 

Wonderfully funny post though. 

Suddenly, I realize there may be hope for you. I will testify as a character witness when you are inevitably brought to judgment and made to atone, both for what you did yourself, and what you sat back and let happen through your inaction. 

- - - - - - - - - -

People, I don't want to make this about Jimmy Johns. Frankly, I don't like having to think about the fact that I live in a cruel, evil world that allows a place like Jimmy Johns to persist and peddle any of the foulness they have on offer. 

This is about Rick Villarreal, a man who may be in crisis, and who is putting himself at great risk. A man who presumably once yearned for succulence (with respect to sandwiches), but has settled for just plain suck (in the form of Jimmy Johns). We can show him how to raise the bar of standards and expectations, in one tiny place we can control and help out directly. We can put a tasty sandwich within RV's reach in 10 days or less, people. 

If you can help... If you've ever wanted to make an impact, but didn't know how... I hope you'll do what you can to help us fund this initiative.

If anyone has any questions that I didn't cover... Let me know, and I'll try to address them. 

[North Texas Shep]

He makes over $200,000 a year to be sub-par. No, he does not deserve a better sandwich and he can buy his own. 

[VideoEagle]

Jimmy Johns really is, beyond question, the worst sandwich in the world. Have mercy and help out.

Edited September 14, 2015 by VideoEagle

[MeanGreenTexan]

I have $.31, or it might only be $.13.  I can't tell because of all the tears in my eyes.

You have the kindest heart TTG.  However, if we can't even raise enough to get him a Wicked, why don't we just drop down to FCS Quizno's?

[Quoner]

At first I dismissed this as just more "yucks" from the usual suspects, but then I started looking into what our rivals are doing - namely schedule killer NAU, who RV has called out by name. Now, the explanation on the podcast was odd, but it was even more odd that NAU was on his radar. However, if you consider their promotions and the sandwich hierarchy it started making sense. They not only have enough sandwiches for their own AD, but they can freely give away vouchers for entire party platters to their fans.

 

Think that doesn't matter? Well, it's possibly the difference between a bye week and NAU or no bye week and Portland State? It's the difference between Candace Cameron...

and Kirk Cameron.

I'll be mailing my change post haste. Please, put aside your biases and anger and help just make things decent for someone who needs it.

[Cerebus]

Candace Cameron...

 

 

This is the kind of half assed play it safe thinking that has plagued North Texas Athletics for decades.  I am sure D.J. Tanner would plot us a conventional boring course to football success. But why not take a page out of the SMU playbook?  Shun the safe route and go for full, balls to wall, all out crazy Stephanie Tanner:

Yes, we'll probably end up on sanctions.  There is a decent chance that she will sell the stadium for meth, but think of the ride!  Larry Brown worked for SMU, Stephanie Tanner can work for us!

[UNTcrazy727]

I'm sorry, but Jersey Mikes is the best sandwich chain in DFW

[Tyler Maryak]

LMAO, love it!  But what of the BoR?

[Cerebus]

LMAO, love it!  But what of the BoR?

I'm pretty sure Jenna Von Oy and Melissa Joan Hart don't have anything better to do...

[Withers940]

[ColoradoEagle]

The number of people in this thread who've never had Great Outdoors... It's just sad.

[oldguystudent]

How is New York Sub Hub not getting the nod in this transaction?  They've been supporting UNT for decades, and when it comes to piling six feet of corn fed beef in front of an angry mob, nobody is on board like New York Sub Hub.  

I suggest that this fund raiser go big or go home.  One six foot meatball and cheese, hold the pickles, served in a timely manner, under a tree, with lots of napkins.

[Green P1]

I think I've got a free Lenny's coupon laying around somewhere. 

[MeanGreenHoops]

It's obvious with the arguing already created by this topic that we can't even agree on the best sandwich chain and proves some point, but i'm not sure what.

 

@TheTastyGreek thank you so much for this thread, it turned tears of sadness to tears of joy.

[TheTastyGreek]

I'm sorry, but Jersey Mikes is the best sandwich chain in DFW

Jersey Mike's is also good! But, after careful deliberation, I decided to push this initiative forward through Which Wich for three reasons:

1) There's a Which Wich 2.2 miles away from the Athletics Center, while the nearest Jersey Mike's is over 5 miles away. There are TWO Which Wich locations closer than that! 

2) While Jersey Mike's offers a fine sandwich, one on par with the offerings of Which Wich (and FAR superior to the ghastly sorrow-fodder on the menu at Jimmy Johns), Which Wich has superior offerings in terms of sides and desserts. While I do enjoy a bag of Miss Vickie's chips... Those and more are all on offer at Which Wich, along with baked goods, house chips, and a variety of milkshakes. Remember... We're trying to show Rick V. that he can, should, and MUST demand more. And, that there may be a whole world of options out there that he's not even aware of! The overall Which Wich experience seems better suited to making that emotional and psychological breakthrough. 

3) The experience of a decent sandwich after a history of Jimmy Johns consumption may be overwhelming to Rick, like a diver rising too quickly and suffering from decompression sickness. When faced with such a variety of savory options, Rick may become light headed... He may be frightened, and attempt to flee the building. Fortunately, the Which Wich specialized bag ordering process should enable Rick to make the transition to a quality sandwich with minimal personal trauma and maximum effectiveness. 

If anyone else wants to collect change to buy Rick a gift card to Jersey Mike's... Decorate your own box, and I will support you. I bought a bottle of water today, and I have 8 cents ready to donate if I can find you at this Saturday's game. 

 

The number of people in this thread who've never had Great Outdoors... It's just sad.

The nearest Great Outdoors is over 35 minutes away from the Athletics Center, without accounting for traffic. 

We're trying to make an immediate impact here. 

I'm not saying we're trying to inspire Rick to strive for a Sandwich National Championship here. This is a first step, and a small one. We're just trying to open his eyes to the level of quality and success that is assumed as fundamental at locations all across the country. If we can open his eyes and his stomach to what's possible at any place that's willing to make a minimum effort and require certain basic standards of decency... Maybe he'll apply that philosophy elsewhere, too. 

If this works, and you want to push for a 2016 crowdfund for a Great Outdoors gift card... I will support you. You can have the change in my pocket when that day comes. 

How is New York Sub Hub not getting the nod in this transaction?

We've always heard excuses about how our circumstances in Denton are uniquely challenging, and that what other people have done to succeed elsewhere can't or won't apply to a Denton university. 

I like Sub Hub, but a gift card there sends entirely the wrong message. I don't want Rick to think that there's some hopeless magic formula to succeed in Denton that no one else can replicate. I want us to show Rick how anyone with a basic level of effort and competence can come to Denton and achieve delicious success, right on University Drive. And then again on Bell Avenue. 

I'll eat at Sub Hub, to show my support and appreciation. And if it gets Rick V. out of his Jimmy Johns funk? Fine, I support it. 

But, if we're pitching in to show him a new way? I want Rick to try the Which Wich experience. It doesn't necessarily take a lot more to get a lot more. All you have to do is try a little. To want it, to insist on it, and to believe that you can and should get it, and that it's not unreasonable to expect it. Don't poison your body and soul with Jimmy Johns. DEMAND MORE. You can have it! It's within your grasp, and for roughly the same amount of money!

[ColoradoEagle]

The nearest Great Outdoors is over 35 minutes away from the Athletics Center, without accounting for traffic. 

We're trying to make an immediate impact here. 

I'm not saying we're trying to inspire Rick to strive for a Sandwich National Championship here. This is a first step, and a small one. We're just trying to open his eyes to the level of quality and success that is assumed as fundamental at locations all across the country. If we can open his eyes and his stomach to what's possible at any place that's willing to make a minimum effort and require certain basic standards of decency... Maybe he'll apply that philosophy elsewhere, too. 

If this works, and you want to push for a 2016 crowdfund for a Great Outdoors gift card... I will support you. You can have the change in my pocket when that day comes. 

Point taken. But if quality and distance is the measuring stick here, I've gotta go with oldguystudent and side with NYSH. Which Wich is the chain where the kids at Alliance stole my sunglasses the first day I moved to Fort Worth. I can't get behind a chain that supports that quality of customer service. Just can't.

I like Sub Hub, but a gift card there sends entirely the wrong message. I don't want Rick to think that there's some hopeless magic formula to succeed in Denton that no one else can replicate. I want us to show Rick how anyone with a basic level of effort and competence can come to Denton and achieve delicious success, right on University Drive. And then again on Bell Avenue. 

I'll eat at Sub Hub, to show my support and appreciation. And if it gets Rick V. out of his Jimmy Johns funk? Fine, I support it. 

But, if we're pitching in to show him a new way? I want Rick to try the Which Wich experience. It doesn't necessarily take a lot more to get a lot more. All you have to do is try a little. To want it, to insist on it, and to believe that you can and should get it, and that it's not unreasonable to expect it. Don't poison your body and soul with Jimmy Johns. DEMAND MORE. You can have it! It's within your grasp, and for roughly the same amount of money!

Now I understand. We're trying to teach RV to make decisions, and to live with those decisions. If he got a bad sandwich, it's because HE made it bad. He has to learn how to correct his own mistakes. But then I think the discussion needs to move to providing a means of transport for RV to the Which Wich multiple times, and keeping track of his progress. No?

[Quoner]

Point taken. But if quality and distance is the measuring stick here, I've gotta go with oldguystudent and side with NYSH. Which Wich is the chain where the kids at Alliance stole my sunglasses the first day I moved to Fort Worth. I can't get behind a chain that supports that quality of customer service. Just can't.

This just proves what I think a lot of people have said. Right now, we're local and comfortable - able to be chummy with our sandwich guys. You look at the bigger sandwich programs, and it's not as easy to get 1:1 customer service or even an audience with a sandwich artist. While I feel bad for your situation, this is quite common and some of the major players in the sandwich scene. While I think all of us are proud that our program has never employed a predatory pedophile holding giant pants, we would also all love to have Subway's success on the field. And that's just one example. If we want to be big time, a lot of people who are used to being in the inner circle are going to have be willing to part with some sunglasses.

[VideoEagle]

While I can understand the appeal of Which Witch, I think in RVs case Quizno's is the best choice. Many here would agree that some of his decisions are "toasted." 

 

[NT1978]

He makes over $200,000 a year to be sub-par. No, he does not deserve a better sandwich and he can buy his own. 

Just because he is sub-par doesn't mean his sub sandwich has to be below par. Dig deep (in the couch) and donate.

[TIgreen01]

Thank God you guys are back!  Count me in for whatever change finds its way into my pocket on 9/19.

[CMJ]

This is a HOF worthy thread already.

[Censored by Laurie]

I'm in for the whole $22.76...if the meat for the sandwich is cut on the newly-named "Darrel Dickey Charcuterie Board"

[ColoradoEagle]

I'm in for the whole $22.76...if the meat for the sandwich is cut on the newly-named "Darrel Dickey Charcuterie Board"

How much would you be in for the "Todd Dodge Cardboard"?