Green to the Bone

I got your four suits right here. Two corporate lawyers, an accountant, and a backstabbing stockbroker. Sounds like the beginning of a guys-walk-into-a-bar joke.

Here are a couple of marketing ideas: 1. Start a Fire Benford project on Kickstarter. Get people around the country to chip in, say, $5. It doesn't even matter if they know UNT or basketball; people on Kickstarter just want to help out something that will help humanity. The Kickstarter ethic says each contributor should receive something of value. My suggestion: a completely obstructed view seat in the Pit. As in this Cubs spoof story from Chicago Side Sports: 2. "In response to extensive market research, the Chicago Cubs announced today that they would expand the capacity of Wrigley Field by adding 5,000 seats in which it would be impossible to see the baseball field. These seats—categorized as “completely obstructed”—would be located throughout the ballpark, behind bathroom walls, snack bars, and storage closets. Ticket prices would be dramatically lower than traditional “viewing seats,” starting at only $20. “We asked customers what we could do to help them enjoy the Wrigley experience more,” said team chairman Tom Ricketts. “They said they wanted lower prices and they said they couldn’t stand watching the poor quality of baseball they’ve seen played in recent years. So, this solution addresses both their wishes. Not only are these seats inexpensive, there’s no possible way you’ll see any baseball. We guarantee it.”

Comparing this to rules that apply to the non-athletic-scholarship student world -- that is, people on some form of federally underwritten student aid -- might be instructive. A drug conviction, even for just possession, at any time in the past used to be an automatic disqualifier for federal aid. Now, even a sale conviction isn't an automatic bar any more -- a reflection of changing times. I imagine the answer to whether there's less or more tolerance for scholarship athletes depends on the school and the individuals involved. Anyway, there's no absolute in how institutions handle these things. Here's the current FAFSA language: Have you been convicted for the possession or sale of illegal drugs for an offense that occurred while you were receiving federal student aid (grants, loans, and / or work-study)? This is question 23 on the paper FAFSA. This question cannot be left blank. Select No if: You have never had a conviction for possessing or selling illegal drugs. The conviction was not a state or federal offense. The conviction occurred before you were 18 years of age and you were not tried as an adult. The conviction was removed from your record. The offense that led to your conviction did not occur during a period of enrollment for which you were receiving federal student aid (grants, loans, or work-study). If you select Yes, you may still be eligible for federal student aid. Additional questions will display to help you determine your eligibility. Past convictions do not automatically make you ineligible for student aid. Even if you are not eligible for federal student aid, complete and submit your Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) because you may be eligible for state or school financial aid.

Somebody needs a nap. Or a hug.

A little less crazed at Duke -- NYT

Three cheers for a university that doesn't pressure professors to pass the annointed and doesn't send in rent-a-nerds in disguises to take their tests for them. Three cheers for integrity.

Shako stickers.

Full-length raccoon coats, straw hats, letter sweaters, triangular pennants on little sticks, mandatory freshman beanies, impromtu crooning, either a capella or with a ukelele, and GB gripes. The very best of college traditions.

They say if you remember Woodstock, you weren't there. But I do remember how awful the weather was that evening, indeed the worst for a game I've ever sat through. Eventually we stopped noticing the cold and the sleet, which I guess marked the onset of hypothermic coma. But we told ourselves that since the players, coaches, Green Brigade, cheerleaders, and refs couldn't leave early, we wouldn't either. Thank goodness we later managed to beat WKU in better weather. And will continue to do so.

Calling Brett penile is a complete phallacy.

I also blame ESPN and their ceaseless airing of dunks and impossible 3's. I think most viewers would like to see more extended footage of dribbling and passing. For spice, add warmups.

I think some of our little fellas are cranky and need a nap.

Boomer?

I think it would look better and reflect more positively upon our school if the business majors wore business suits to the games. I mean, are we proud, or what? No Men's Wearhouse, either. And don't even get me started on that outfit that Derek Harper advertises. Jeez.

Every year, I think this tired old topic has run out of gas, but then the AAA truck arrives.