Quoner

Look, I miss LoveMG and SaySoJoe too, but cussing at people is not going to bring them back.

The only poor people I want to hear about are the people who tend to my pores at the spa.

Mine broke and fell off my car two days after I stuck it on. It looked nice and kinda felt like a cool situational metaphor.

But what's the critical thread mass to make them notice your hot takes? 15? 20? Do you write it on a rock and throw it through a window? Is it time to drop a corpse on Smastrek's house with a message carved into it like in Con Air? Have we exhausted all possibilities for a telegram - maybe a singing one backed by our award winning music school? Look, I appreciate the hustle you've shown in the past, but you've been in a rut since you offered to play QB. It's not that I don't like you or anyone else here - far from it. I'm just passionate about this school and won't let ANYONE rest on their laurels when there is clearly more we can ALL be doing. PS: Phony kidnapping? Increased Tinder engagement?

I'd like to see more Chase Baine and SaySoJoe.

Social media is not, and never should be, a strategy (it's a tool, like most of you)...yet here we are, asking the same questions, year after year.

I always liked to think of Malonish as the Riley to my Todd, but it's only now apparent I am the Matt to his Giovanni.

I mean...you already did once.

Sorry you've never seen Elf. I forget you guys just generally watch the first 15 minutes of A Christmas Carol and applaud that sensible businessman for being so conscious of the bottom line.

No one in my office acknowledged the game before 8 am, so I painted a pony on an intern's head, then severed it at the neck and placed it on a spike outside my office. I think people are FINALLY starting to look twice and notice good things are happening in Denton - plus I'm somehow more of a man thanks to these college kids!

Not much to report today. We beat some horseshit private school with no fans badly, so I'm just going to shrug it off and start getting ready for La Tech. Been there done that. Barack Hussein Obama sez "Wake me up when the real competition shows up." Hope you find your dad. Oh, and (he's getting his sea legs back, you guys!) Oh, and don't worry - even the has bitching. Did you expect anything less? This post has been promoted to an article

That's really cool. Congratulations on all your success.

Did you go in the chatroom, though?

"If we haven't scheduled you, it's just because you haven't called us!"

If your kids didn't get enough of their kind of tunes with "I've Been Working on the Railroad" last weekend, bring 'em early for plenty of "She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain!"

Other possible solution: stop sucking. It's already kind of worked, but what if we really went all in?

Well several of them may be coaching in actual hell, so I'd say even there, they have a leg up. Speaking of which, has anyone seen the line on Bill Walsh's Hades Tech Raiders vs. Dana Bibles' Fightin' Ironics this weekend? I don't have ESPN 3, but plan to follow it on my phone.

Who ran him off? I know the answer, I just like to read it.

Defend that, objectifaction fans!

These so called "fans" don't believe in the team enough and are terrible and need to get off the train. When things fully turn around, your AD may not want them around.

A fan base that has delusions of their place in the college football world despite repeated humbling lessons similar to what happened last weekend? Now I've seen everything. Lucky for you, our fan base is steadily improving at saying how we didn't come here to lose.

FUN TANGENTIAL STORY: Thad ran for HS class president under the slogan "don't be a foola, vote for matula." It almost worked, but then the winning candidates went with "don't be a foola, vote for hughes" and put all of his signs next to his. I kind of like to imagine this success paved the way for and inspired the legendary Pony Up campaign, except it wasn't Richards Group approved, so it actually worked.

Swung by Friday (we left Saturday morning) and were quite impressed - outfitted the whole family with new stuff, but was sad the polos had alreayd been picked over (but the new t-shirt gets two thumbs up.)

Four hours. You miserable bastards posting all of your comments and hot takes and fart noises took me a whopping four hours to sort through. Have you ever tried to explain to a loved one why you have been on the computer in the living room for four hours while watching TV? Of course not – most of you queers probably were probably haven’t even touched a woman. Not me, bro. I’ve touched lots of ladies and fist bumped a lot of bros. That’s why you all - you were totally craving my carnal touch. I can’t blame you, especially when it takes a village to a game day story some guy wrote for free during a holiday weekend. So, what happened on the internet this weekend? The short version is we took the Tecmo Bowl NES playbook down to Austin, but forgot to cover up our controller and our friend Charlie kept seeing the plays. Oh, and we let our little brother mash the buttons after the snap – but with his face. At half time, we had 31 yards of offense. That’s 93 feet – which is not even up to the standard feet-to-heat ratio the Athletic Department has historically known. It was so bad, But hey, at least we got a for our troubles. As always, it’s never about the results with these recaps – it’s about the fallout. I have a four page outline of everything I read that made me laugh with hyperlinks, but there’s just no way I can do it all justice. Who is to blame for this debacle? What will happen next? Where does the buck start? The worst part is our coach to expect… First, if I have learned nothing from recent podcasts, it’s that a good, long look in the mirror. Each of you need to figure out exactly what you can do to improve these team, sell out the stadium, etc. Some of you, like Emmitt, think is going to change things. Others, especially Ben Gooding, get what needs to be done. Talk is cheap, you worthless fat dads with guts and receding airlines. The team needs a quarterback, and much in the tradition of E. King Gill and the 12th Man, there’s only one man ready to win – Honestly, it’s time to embrace our inner Veeck and make this happen. If this doesn’t work, why not just at once? You could also just yell at them and but that seems counterproductive. My big idea? for convincing kids to avoid going to large programs. There are a number of Derek Thompson threads and points I could point back to, but then I saw that was good enough for me. But seriously, in a special moment, our QB play was so bad it healed old wounds, and isn’t this really all about the friendships? Still, in one of the most Andrew posts of all time, the game would have been totally different! Still, at least our guys lived And hey, some people didn’t even to this one! Some people did drive and even found ways to but they probably aren’t real fans. Still, if you breath into a paper bag three times and knock yourself in the genitals with a hammer, it’s clear to see this game proves (non-plausible theory, Texas has not gotten any worse at all since 2006.) Also, this is now that the game has happened because we totes opened it up! In short, there is no wrong way to – your answer tells you more about yourself than the team. It’s deep. There was also lots of fun to be had in and around media. First, The Goose thinks the world’s slowest 4th and goal rollout and unnecessary ball spike by They also might earn the E next week if they have to actually defend more than one slant pass. More importantly, we got to show those jerks at the DMN a thing or two about how much MeanGreen01, please post a draft of your letter and let them know predicting us to score 13 points on offense was irresponsible and reckless. More importantly, don’t let Rudy borrow your men’s mags unless you’re willing to part with a few pages. In short, Stefan came out of this thread really looking stupid. But really, why do reporters find us dumb and have to be it? Also, the LHN is the worst thing on the planet, but on the other hand, if you go to a maybe you get the crowd you deserve? Finally, this is worth a chuckle. MY GOD – I still have two pages of notes. I hate you all. Also, Dickey reference! Drink So, what’s next? Do we because people will stack the box? Do we figure out how to more effectively crash for no logical reason? Do we keep Tony and the hell away from our team? Is James329 going to give us his the RV podcast? Do we (I also had a joke about Eddie Delgado and crowded rooms and chat rooms, but then I got distracted. Feel free to workshop your own.) Oh, and is it time to again? I mean, it’s been days since something changed. Still, as always, the good part is that people care. Some people are which is just silly. Some people are (and there’s still time for another team to think Trice.) Other people are (and yes, this thread could easily get its own breakdown post there is so much happening.) My main takeaway? Give Green Machine an army of even-keel posters and he’ll win a battle. Given him a handful of Ben Goodings writing angry letters and he’ll win a war. We now have less than five full days until the Ponies come to down and they had the audacity to before arguably outderping us. Now that both programs have been reminded of who runs this state in horrible fashion, there is nowhere to go but up. In short, Week One Poster Power Rankings (Top 5) Ben Gooding (I mean, was there a doubt) James329 (not a big name, but solid work all weekend) Green Machine (full villain – just needs a lucha libre mask because it is freaking glorious. MeanGreen01 (for the DMN prediction thread alone) ChristopherWalker (a selfie is worth a ton of points.) Oh ,as for the Dunning–Kruger effect – I know what you all think I’m going to say, but I’m going to do some introspection and realize that maybe these posts aren’t that great and I should focus more on…just kidding, I’m gonna live forever! This post has been promoted to an article