The Fake Lonnie Finch

After all the schools that marched out of the C-USA into a failing Big East, you thought Banowsky would magically be able to save East Carolina from leaving as well? Banowsky is in no way a proactive commissioner. He is the ultimate in reactive. And, as to the question of having Banowsky versus Benson...whey does the choice have to be between those two? Are these the only two people in the country qualified to be conference commissioners? I doubt it.

Wellness is nothing but horsesh*t. Tort reform lowered Workers Compensation costs for businesses and Medical Malpractice Insurance for doctors, but it didn't slow down premium increases to those purchasing health insurance. Many of the uninsured are uninsured because they have terrible health due to poor lifestyle choices. It was always laughable to anyone with half a brain in their head to think throwing them into the actuarial mix would lower premiums. As far as the three truths he lists, they are kind of fuzzy. Do less? Okay, of what? Diagnosing? Pay less? For what? Less coverage? More competition? Okay, fine. Go to health insurance without borders. You think every governor's office, state's attorney general office, and state department iof insurance can get together and agree on what nationwide regulations and policies there should be? Buttf*ck, Wyoming in the same pile as New York City? Get a rope. This joke that we now call Obamacare PPACA. Look, the simple fact of the matter is this: the responsible will continue to be billed for the irresponsible. In the cost of health care, incarceration, uninsured auto costs, etc. You name it. Our problem is the rank of the irresponsible are now surpassing the ranks of the responsible.

Banowsky strikes again! Abilene Christian, a school with whom the Banowsky family has many ties, will someday be in the C-USA. Hear me now, believe me later. By the way, Abilene Christian will be playing Tarleton State at Frisco football/soccer/futbol stadium this weekend: http://www.ticketmaster.com/event/0C004AF39D869D91 http://www.tarletonsports.com/news/2013/7/22/FB_0722134219.aspx https://tix.extremetix.com/Online/?siteID=3340&cartID=2ba455ed-4f29-448f-a710-72e86007ed61&eventid=45208 http://alumniassociation.acu.edu/s/1565/index.aspx?sid=1565&gid=1&pgid=470 Will you vomit if this game sells out, thereby surpassing attendance of the last UNT game at Apogee? Banowsky...Abilene...C-USA. I'm telling you. You'll probably see a Banowsky or two there in Frisco during the caucasian-fest that will be ACU-Tarleton.

Look, after the Pac-12 told Texas no dice due to the LHN, the deal fell apart. Oklahoma attempted to go it alone to the Pac-12 and were told no. Whether Oklahoma likes it or not, it doesn't matter how much they dominate Texas on the field, Texas has the bigger checkbook and alumni base. That they can't put together they type of championship runs nationally, like Alabama, or in conference, like Oklahoma, doesn't matter. Whether the kids at UT use soap or not doesn't factor in either. They can and will go where they choose as far as college football is concerned. And, they can go with or without Oklahoma. The Pac-12 experiment has already shown that Oklahoma cannot necessarily go it alone to the same degree. Above all else, Texas has piles of cash that ESPN is erroneously shoveling to them for another 17 years. But, contracts are contracts. Which is to say, either side can find a way to break it if they've had a lawyer worth two cups of tobacco spit writing it for them. The Big 12 is sliding down the path to ACC wishy-washiness in football competition. In basketball, it is sheer horse flop outside of Kansas. But, no one give a monkey's hairy ass about basketball when it comes to conference shuffling. No, my friends, Texas will call the tune to which others will dance in the Big12 until they leave. And, when they leave, they will be perfectly able to go it alone with Oklahoma. Besides, what difference does it make to Sooner fans which conference Texas underachieves in?

Who is screwed is the Big 12 for taking West Virginia and TCU into their failing fold in the first place. The conference was already tending heavily toward mediocrity. The Mountaineers and Horned Frogs assured mediocrity for the conference for a decade...or, at least until Texas takes the last parachute on board and jumps, leaving Oklahoma to pilot the sizzling crap heap of football nothingness aimlessly into the future. THAT will be the chance for us to jump into the fray!

Oh, and, Tulsa still sucks and has no one to blame but themselves. This is 2013 Tulsa, not 2012 Tulsa.

Thank you. My degree from UNT is in English. And, I took Creative Writing while earning it. I made a B. Have the Department Head PM me. I am available weeknights Monday. Wednesday, and Thursday. I request $1,000 per semster in pay to cover gas and Pepsi expenses between Denton and Frisco. I write haiku for free. Just throw your topic out to me. I am your haiku lifeline.

Tulsa is not good. Their problems go beyond losing nine defensive starters to graduation and another to academics. Their problems go beyond their best receiver breaking his leg. Their problems go beyond shaky special teams. Tulsa is a quivering pile of rubber butt putty right now, and they have no one to blame but themselves. It all began in late 2011 when TU president Steadman Upham (a collegiate president's name if I ever heard one) announced that he'd retire in 2012. And, so, he did...for a while. In July of 2012, Upham's replacement arrived, an Engineering fellow from the DFW area named Geoffrey Orsak who had done all of his academic work from B.A.to Ph.D. at Rice. He had been the Dean of SMU's School of Engineering. So, it seemed like the perfect fit: A private school guy with a heavy Engineering background to lead a private school known for its Engineering. Except it wasn't so. A mere 74 days into his tenure, President Orsak was suddenly fired. And, to this day, neither side has divulged the reason. Orsak has not filed suit. So, TU folk are left to piece together what may have happened based on rumored and innuendo. And, in the day and age of the internet, that means alcohol or affairs. Sometimes both. And, because neither side will speak of the firing, conjucture will have to do. Orsak was briefly replaced by a TU execituve type named Kevan Buck. Buck was only an interim, though, and was borne of parents who could even spell "Kevin" correctly. Hence, Upham returned to the presidency in October of 2012, roughly about 90 days after retiring from the post. Coincidentally, TU's zen athletic director Bubba Cunningham was plucked away by the University of North Carolina the same month Upham announced he was retire. In January of 2012, a "man" named Ross Parmley was named interim athletic director. A say "man" because he is a man only because he allegedly has a penis. Although, you might believe otherwise when you realize that he was gold-frost/tipping his hair in his late-to-mid 30s like some run-of-the-mill uptown Dallas douche queef. Anyway, with all of the upheaval of the presidential retirement and the departure of AD Bubba, no one bothered much with due diligence. They missed that Parmley was a regular gambler, which is generally frowned upon in the sports world...even though every one of the football talking heads you see will eventually bring up "The Line" and whether or not this team or that will "cover" it from week to week. So, in additional to being King of Gold-Tipped Douche Queefs, Parmley was also a ramblin' gamblin' man. He was fired in December of 2012. No matter how you slice it mathematically, he was on the job longer than the perhaps drunken philanderer Orsak. (Again, we don't know whether Orsak was drunk or philandering. We just know the rumors are out there and no one is saying - or suing - anything on either side.) The overarching problem for the Tulsa athletic department is that during all of this Upheaval On 11th Street, the college football landscape was beginning to rumble again. As is his way, C-USA Commissioner Britton Banowsy had fallen asleep at the wheel (again) and allowed a dying conference - The Big East - to steal his most valuable programs. Banowsky awoke just in time to replace them with start-ups and Sun Belt escapees. But, Tulsa, in the throes of presidential and athletic director shenanigan chaos, got left out of the 2013 C-USExodus. They will exit the conference in 2014, but they will have been knocked down a peg by the time they get to the AAC. Whatever momentum the tiny, quirky, private school had with its football program is rapidly halting. I'd feel sorry for my second alma mater...except for the fact that they brought it all on themselves by: (1) Not doing enough due dilligence in hiring a new athletic director and having to fire one within a year of hiring him (2) Having some unexplained and unrevealed event or events capsize their perfect presidential hire in the middle of the wrong AD hire's short tenure, and (3) - and I'll say, perhaps worst of all - trusting Britton Banowsky to have their backs. When you add everything together, it adds up to this: A. Tulsa will suck like a starving whelp in football this year (and, probably basketball as well) B. North Texas will be able to finally beat them for the first time since the year I was born...1969. GO MEAN GREEN!

Darius Terrell with walk-ons and underclassmen ahead of him...despite being a former four-star signee by one of the College Football Giants...anyone?

Many things are considered attractive nuisances, swimming pools among them. But, really, it can be anything that attracts the interest of a child. These days, home insurers are asking about trampolines as well. But, just name anything you would have seen on someone else's property as a child and wanted to play with - tire wings, crap laying around in the yard (wood, bricks), anything being worked on (holes in the ground, ditches for sprinkler systems, sidewalks/driveway repairs), tools left out, etc. Anything a kid would grab and possibly hurt themsleves with is an attractive nuisance.

This is why insuring celebrities is difficult. Few companies will deal with athletes, recording artists, politicians, etc. because they are regularly targeted for lawsuits such as these. When I began my insurance career back in the mid-90s, we insured a former Rolling Stone piano player named Billy Preston. We also insured at least one of Nate Dogg's houses. Neither turned out well. Preston did himself in when he and his manager began torching houses. Our claims department pieced together bits of information from prior claims to bust the arson ring. (Back in the 80s and 90s, kids, information wasn't instantaneous...so, fraud was easier to perpetrate for longer periods of time...you had to peice it together without "google" and networks). We got a hold of claims files from two other carriers and noticed the same stuff claimed every time - expensive pianos and recording equipment. We paid some ALE up front so they wouldn't be suspicious about our investigation. They cooperated with the claim right down the line, claiming piece by piece exactly what had been claimed in four or five prior theft and fire claims. It was amazing. We just set the trap and let them walk into it. Fire investigators did the rest. By the time we turned the evidence over prosecutors, several prior insurers jumped in as well to try to get some of their money back. Good luck. Dude was already in prison on a drug charge. Nate Dogg was sued because early one morning following a soiree at his house, one of his "posse" (back in the 90s, youngsters, rappers has "posses") dragged a young lady down the stairs by her hair. Coordinating the investigation proved to be somewhat difficult as many of the "posse" were in and out of various jails and prisons, and, therefore, not readily available to contribute to the investigation. As far the near drowning, it works like this: (1) Your a known name, (2) You allow your name to be used for a camp (even if you show up for just a few minutes...if at all), (3) You will be named by a plaintiffs' attorney if anything goes awry.

9/14: BALL STATE, 2-0, wins versus FCS Illinois State and Army. 50-50 WIN 9/21 @ Georgia, 1-1, lost to Clemson, beat S. Carolina- both Top 10 teams at the time. Had BYE last week. This will still take a miracle game to win. Loss 9/28: BYE 10/5: @ Tulane, 2-2, beat FCS Jackson State and La Tech, lost to Sun Belt start-from-scratch South Alabama and thrashed by Syracuse. Highly winnable. 10/12: MIDDLE TENNESSEE, 3-1, beat FCS Western Carolina, Memphis, and a bad FAU squad in overtime; lost to North Carolina. Will likely lose this Friday at BYU and the following weekend against East Carolina. No matter. This is a 50-50 game against a former Sun Belt rival. 10/19: @ Louisiana Tech, 1-3, lost to NC State and bad Tulane and Kansas squads; has beaten only FCS Lamar. Has scored more than 15 only against Lamar. Very highly winnable 10/26: @ Southern Miss, 0-3, lost to FCS Texas State, crushed by Nebraska, lost to what is looking like a very average Arkansas. Will be crushed by Boise State this weekend. Highly winnable. 10/31: RICE, 1-2, lost to Texas A&M and Houston; barely won at home versus terrible Kansas, a Big 12 school. This one looks more winnable by the week. Downside for us will still be playing a short week and after back-to-back road trips. Rice will be entering the game after back-to-back games with New Mexico State and UTEP. Calling this a 50-50. 11/9: UTEP, 1-2, has beaten only awful, neighboring New Mexico State; they've lost to New Mexico and UTSA. UTSA took it to them pretty good at home. This does not look like a good football team right now. Highly winnable 11/16: BYE. 11/23: UTSA, 2-2, beat New Mexico and UTEP; thrashed by Oklahoma State. lost to Arizona. This is a winnable game; but, looking like one that we cannot fall asleep on. 11/30: @ Tulsa, 1-2, lost to Bowling Green, make a fourth quarter comeback win versus horrible Colorado State at home, thrashed by OU. Many people here still fear the Golden Hurricane. But, this is not a good team. The defense, due to injuries, academic failures, and graduations, has only one starter from last year's squad. On the offensive side of the ball, they've lost their top returning receiver for the year. Trey Watts is their only consistent threat. Despite what many here believe, this is highly winnable: http://www.tulsaworld.com/article.aspx/TU_offense_struggling_despite_experience/20130916_94_B1_CUTLIN891429 Rice, Middle Tennesee...and UTSA (?)...are going to be our toughest remaining games. That's not to say every game won't be tough in some way. But. if Derek Thompson keeps playing error-free football and the defense keeps up it's ball-hawking, swarming style, we're in for a seven to eight win bowl season.

NT's All-Time I-A/FBS Leaders in Tackles: 1. Craig Robertson: 381 2. Brad Kassel: 365 3. Burks Washington: 351 With 42 tackles on the season so far, Orr sits at 286 tackles for his career. He need about 12 per game to catch Robertson in the regular season; 10.6 with regular season + bowl game; 9.5 if we go regular season + C-USA CHAMPIONSHIP GAME + bowl game.

Brelan Chancellor is already the NT career leader in: Kickoff Returns: 110 (and counting) Kickoff Return Yards: 2,657 (and counting) Kickoffs Returned For TD: 3 (...and counting!) In All-Purpose Yards at NT, he now trails only: 1. Lance Dunbar: 5,375 2. Patrick Cobbs: 5,222 3. Brelan Chancellor: 4,284 He needs a stout 117.3 per game to get past Cobbs; an unreal 136.4 to get past Dunbar.

Among NT QBs at the Division I-A/FBS level, Thompson is now: Passing Attempts 1. Steve Ramsey: 1,015 2. Giovanni Vizza: 876 3. Derek Thompson: 801 (needs 26.8 attempts per game to pass Ramsey...it could happen; 9.4 to supplant Vizza at #2...it'll happen) Passes Completed 1. Giovanni Vizza: 532 2. Steve Ramsey: 491 3. Derek Thompson: 478 (needs to complete 6.8 per game to pass Vizza...barring injury, it'll happen) Passing Efficiency 1. Scott Hall: 132.26 2. Riley Dodge: 125.71 3. Derek Thompson: 125.3 Touchdown Passes 1. Steve Ramsey: 69 2. Scott Hall: 50 3. (T) Giovanni Vizza: 32 3. (T) Jason Mills: 32 3. (T) Derek Thompson: 32 (needs 4.7 per game to surpass Ramsey; 2.3 to supplant Hall at #2) Passing Yards 1. Steve Ramsey: 7,076 2. Scott Hall: 5.975 3. Derek Thompson: 5,571 (needs 188.2 per game to pass Ramsey...it could happen) Completion Percentage 1. Riley Dodge: 64.7% 2. Jordan Case: 61.6% 3. Giovanni Vizza: 60.7% 4. Derek Thompson: 59.7% (can probably catch Case and Vizza) Career 200 Yard Passing Games 1. Steve Ramsey: 20 2. (T) Giovanni Vizza: 15 2. (T) Derek Thompson: 15 (will probably pass Vizza; has an outside shot at getting past Ramsey) Career 300 Yard Passing Games 1. Steve Ramsey: 6 2. Derek Thompson: 5 (this one is doable) Career Total Offense (Passing + Rushing) 1. Steve Ramsey: 6,568 2. Scott Hall: 6,440 3. Derek Thompson: 5,797 (needs 96.4 per game to pass Ramsey)

http://www.conferenceusa.com/sports/m-footbl/spec-rel/bowl-partners-12.html

Here again, I think UTEP hire of Sean Kugler was a reach. Maybe time will prove me wrong. But, like Tulane, they bring in a guy without experience as even a coordinator. Yes, he coached in the NFL. Fine. Many coaches have. But, no one at that leve or the collegiate level has ever trusted him to put together a game plan for an offense or defense. Throw that on top of Mike Price's slow implosion, and...it's all good for us!

We know what the guys on TV were already pointing out - NT looks different because the defense has had the same defensive coordinator for two consecutive seasons for the first time in the seniors' careers. This is a good coaching staff. Disappointed to give up 640 yards. But, to a Top 10 team on the road, what can you say. I don't think Oklahoma had that much against us in 2007, and we were much worse. Until someone stops it, each opponent will be picking on our corners. They are flat out getting beat. Still, props to the guys. They played their hearts out. No one had this penciled in as a win, and Vegas had us as a 33 point dog. We beat the line, and got a pretty good bit of TV exposure. Nice to hear them, at the end of the game, say that they thought we'd compete for the C-USA championship.

Larry Coker. Someone here has said before not to underestimate him. I can't remember who, though.

Seriously. This is all you've got against Kirby Smart? Texas isn't going to play Manziel, are they? No. Who else has "torched" Alabama since Smart has been there? By the three national championship rings on his fingers, I'd say no one else. The constant flow of Tide defenders to the NFL speaks highly of his coaching as well. Texas isn't quite sending as many to the NFL anymore. Smart would be a great hire for Texas. Mack Brown's best years at UT came when he hired Will Muschamp and Gene Chizik - defensive coordinators from the SEC. How about this number: Mack Brown versus Bob Stoops/OU without Muschamp/Chizik: 1-8 Mack Brown versus Bob Stoops/OU with Muschamp/Chizik: 4-1 That alone should have the Longhorn money slobbering in Bama's direction. They've already tried to pry Saban out of Tuscaloosa. Getting Smart would be the next best thing. *Mack Brown was 0-1 versus OU at North Carolina *Mack Brown was 1-0 versus OU when they had John Blake as head coach

Over and over and over again I've said this: When you we go by North Texas, we are letting folks get 2/3s of the way to North Texas State. There is a big UNT sign RIGHT NEXT TO APOGEE STADIUM! Call the football team UNT! Put UNT on the helmet. Put it on the jersey. Market it. Market it. Market it. This is the stupidest thing we do I am not going to go back - for a third time - and make a list of all of the schools who use letters on their helmets. Just suffice it to say that it's well over half. And, a lot more use a mascot logo on the helmets. We do neither. Our brand sucks because just saying the "North Texas" is bush league. It's I-AA/FCS stuff. Why did we change from NTSU to UNT anyway? We are in the fourth decade of UNT. USE UNT!

Chiefs had, what, two days to prepare for Kelly's offense? Game against Dallas on Sunday, a couple of days of practice, then fly half way across the country to Philadelphia to face Chip Kelly's miracle offense on Thursday. Beautiful...16 whole points the Eagles produced with it.

Works for Andy Reid. http://ftw.usatoday.com/2013/09/andy-reid-beat-the-eagles-using-the-same-ways-that-got-him-fired-in-philly/ Glad McCarney is of this mindset as well.

Money talks. And, Saban's been known to hit the trail for higher pay. I think it's more realistic for Texas to hire Bama's defensive coordinator Kirby Smart, though.

I'm going to dream a little dream: UNT 33, Georgia 26