The Fake Lonnie Finch

Houston people- You have to understand that there are a few closeted Longhorn fans here. Not many, but a few. Cougar High is one of the things Longhorn fans have traditionally called Houston to make themselves feel better. What the purpose is, I'll never know. But, you are talking about fans of a school that just extorted millions of dollars from Iowa State, Kansas State, Kansas, Missouri, and Baylor when it was already banking about $130 million. So, needless to say, their fans like to rub it into the faces of those without as much money or prestige. They do this because they often fail when trying to pick on those their own size - like, most recently, Alabama. Inside of Austin people call them Longhorns. Outside of Austin, we just refer to them as what they are - pathetic bastards trying to overcompensate for their exceedingly small penises. Anyway, it will be nice to have you all open our new stadium with us, despite what the closeted Longhorn fans post on here.

...and, by people, I mean Louisiana Tech and SMU. I think that they think if we were in their conferences and started beating their backsides year in and year out, that they would be seriously hurting in their efforts regarding the recruitment of high school children who play the sport of American football. In a way, I guess I don't blame the cowards in Highland Park and Ruston. I'd be scared of our potential, too. When fate puts it altogether, those bedwetters won't even be able to sleep at night without a night light and extra soft Thomas the Tank Engine blankey. Come get some of this, La. Tech and SMU! Come taste a bit of your nightmarish green future where we lord it over you and spit out the bones of your weak and tawdry! A storm is brewing on the horizon. The clouds are green. The sound is mean. And, it's name is Chico! Seek shelter while ye may, O cowards of the college gridiron! UNT will rise with a mighty, Atlas-like lift of a man whose given Christian name is Mike! To the trees! To the trees!

This doesn't make any sense. I thought Darrell Dickey only recruited thugs.

I like the idea of playing Houston, and I'll say something more.... I hope that this will be the beginning to a series of games against the University of Houston. The more we play regional foes, the better the ties when it comes to jumping conferences...or, inviting them into the Sun Belt with us after the Sun Belt takes over the world.

I've kind of taken a shine to the wing-shaped endzone seating. But, then again, I'm feeling different about the whole atmosphere of all things UNT football these days, which can only be summed up by the great Thunderclap Newman:

Now that's what I call forward thinking! That would be the best 12 team college football conference in America! Better than SEC with Auburn! You guys may not like Notre Dame, and I hate them too for what they did, but imagine getting to see them lose every year or every other year to the Oklahoma Sooners and Texas Longhorns. Baylor would probably get up on the Irish as well if they can form the conference before Robert Griffin retires.

These preseason polls don't mean anything. Rivals.com is just a hair away from being the type of people who make love to donkeys. Anyone with eyes can see that we will end up wherever South Florida was under Canales - Top 40 or better, like a Michael Jackson song. I'm beginning to see visions of an upset of Clemson.

You can't help but see how much these kids will flock from all corner of the globe to play for Chico Canales. How do you underestimate the power that he, Canales, will inject into the equation just by having the nuts to recognize that a fullback and tight end aren't sexual cuss words to be shunned by position coaches but, rather, positions on the playing field to take advantage of when the defenses mistakenly crowd the line to try to stop Lance Dunbar and play Tyler Stradford one on one? We will not be denied on account of Canales, and quarterbacks from here to the four corners of the earth understand it.

Where can we get one? I'd like to have one to hang in my garage next to my Mean Green clock and just left and diagonal from my weight bench, right in front of my wife's car, next to the hot water heater and across from my golf clubs and landscaping implements.

It's time to get back to work in deciding where the 2010 Sun Belt Champions banner will be displayed in the new stadium! Get on board! The Chico boat is about to set sail, bedwetters!

We're not going to get UTSA because they're going C-USA. And, guys...I hate to say this, but...maybe Texas State goes C-USA as well. You look at their marketing, they were what, almost a Top 50 seller of their brand, beating out many FBS schools already. We've got to just do what we can control - and that is KEEP WINNING, BABY!

Because we're North Texas, not Texas, the travel budget would be an issue. I think most people here probably favor a move to the C-USA,if possible, because they have many regional schools. Personally, I'd like to see the Sun Belt and C-USA merge, but the C-USA won't have it. And, I'm sure the people that work for the Sun Belt don't want to lose their jobs and all. By the way, I visited San Jose back in 1987. We were in Norcal and one of my sister's college roomates lived near there. We went to the David Bowie concert there at Spartan Stadium. Nice place to visit, San Jose. We had nice time out there.

Guys, Tulsa has no pull to go anywhere else. It's insanely small, with an undergraduate enrollment of less than 3,000. It has some rich alumni. But, when you're that small, you have far less rich alumni.

I don't think Tulsa is graduating drywall contractors, so it's got to be something else.

Also, last week Tulsa got a sixth year granted to a kid for an injury. That's also something we haven't been able to do. There must be a way to approach these things that our athletic department doesn't know about. http://www.tulsaworld.com/sportsextra/TU/article.aspx?subjectid=94&articleid=20100608_94_0_Tulsas172714

...but Tulsa does this year. Same circumstances claimed as well. Are we snakebit with these requests? http://www.tulsaworld.com/sportsextra/TU/article.aspx?subjectid=94&articleid=20100615_225_B2_Tulsas569267&archive=yes

[Robot Greggo voice]Good point.[/Robot Greggo voice]

We don't need to be DFW's team. Most of DFW is full of hellishness. What UNT needs to do is concentrate on the ever growing communities around where people with money who formerly would have lived in Dallas now live. People, I'm talking about Frisco, Celina, Propser, The Colony, Corinth, Argyle, those houses in yankee-type communities along 380 between Denton and Frisco, McKinney, Allen, West Plano, Keller, etc., etc., etc. Leave the DFW area to SMU, TCU, and Southwest Assemblies of God. Give us the people moving north who have money and can drive to us easily on the big new and exciting 380. I'd even say, let extends the Shaking Hand of Athletic Friendship to outposts such as Wylie and Sachse. Wylie might even let us use their football stadium in a pinch.

I doubt it's even possible to get crack in Ames.

Fellas, fellas, fellas, listen... Texas has more than a "Tech" or "Baylor" problem. The problem for Texas is that the conferences are now racially integrated and facemasks are required on all helmets. Before such, Texas ruled. Texas A&M doesn't need Texas. Neither does Oklahoma. A bastard of an Arkansas alum has built a giant stadium in Arlington, Texas. Schools make heaps and gobs of money to go play there - even though it sucks once you are inside of it. So, while Texas is still pretending its 1966, an A&M in the SEC could be pulling down double the jack in TV money and scheduling games in JerryArkansasGradWorld with the likes of Arkansas and LSU for even more dough. If A&M and OU were to both jump ship on Texas, the 'Horns would reap what they deserve - the sissified Pac-10 or a very uncomfortably southern partner in the Big (and Growing) 10. OU could also fill JerryArkansasGradWorld with games against Arkansas, LSU, and A&M. Whatever happens, it's looking more and more like Texas doesn't like the fact that the right people may not ask them to prom, so they aren't going to go. And, I say, fine...stay home where you belong, beyotch! Reap the crappy remnants of the Big 12-2, 'Horns. You've already screwed up one conference with your political shenanigans. Sit amongst the ashes of the second, you parasitic boll weevils of insanity!

Iowa State.

And, Vince Young continues to make the Tennessee Titans proud off the field. What a great investment that kid is. Everything you want the face of your franchise to be.

Wishful thinking. All "rebuilt" Big 12 stories include BYU and Air Force since two North Division schools left. Memphis needs to concentrate of winning the C-USA.

Texas-Texas A&M is the most overrated rivalry in college football. I'd rather watch (insert any SEC rivalry) than that double-barrel sack full of garbage. Texas A&M has a long rivalry with LSU that should be renewed. That'd be instantly better than watching them play the cowards of Austin. If UT is so rough and tough, they'll schedule A&M and OU even if they end up in different conferences. Texas needs those rivalries. They've got nothing else. No one cares about Texas-Oklahoma State, Texas-Texas Tech, or Texas and anybody else. That's why Texas is always threatening to leave, then never going. They know they're a worthless pile of dogsnot without OU and Texas A&M on their schedule. Texas-Arizona/Arizona State? Yawn. OU/Texas A&M-LSU/Arkansas/Ole Miss, etc. That'd be good football.