The Fake Lonnie Finch

Years ago, I good man named The Fake Lonnie Finch researched and posted a study on national championships to compare California, Florida, and Texas talent. The long and short of it was that, since 1970: -only one Texas school had won a national title: Texas in 2005 -only one California school during that time period won a national title, and the did it four times: USC, 1972, 1974, 2003, and 2004 -all three major Florida schools won multiple national titles: Miami in 1983, 1987, 1989, 1991, and 2001; Florida State in 1993, 1999, and 2013; Florida in 1996, 2006, and 2008. That's 11 to Florida schools, four to one California school, and one to one Texas school. Moreover, if you add in Southern and Southeast school who have won titles since 1970, it tilts even further to the side of that region: -Alabama: 1973, 1978, 1979, 1992, 2009, 2011, 2012, 2015 -Georgia: 1980 -Clemson: 1981, 2016 -Georgia Tech: 1990 -Tennessee: 1998 -LSU: 2003, 2007 -Auburn: 2010 That's 16 to Southern/Southeastern schools, plus the 11 from Florida for 27 national titles over the past 47 years. (NOTE: 22 of those titles from a school in either of these three: Georgia, Florida, and Alabama.) Schools from the South/Southeast region have won 14 of the past 20 national titles, including 10 of the last 11. Ohio State in 2014 was the only school to break into the streak. So, yes...if we had a way to get into the Southeast, it would be great. However, we are having a hard enough time selling the program to DFW area kids at this point. So, let's not put the cart before the horse. I'm always a proponent, though, of getting the best player no matter where they are. It's what built program in the middle of nowhere like Oklahoma and Nebraska for decades.

Cerebus, Go ahead and drop your 'net hammer. It will never change: Nor will conflating Quentin Tarantino's 19th century slavery fantasies with 21st century mental illness displayed by Dress Up Bruce Jenner.

​ No matter what parents do - or, how many dresses a man wears - modern psychobabble cannot undo science. However, the ensuing freakshow as they try does drive television ratings; and, thus, ad revenue. This is the answer to our attendance problem, actually: Hire a male coach who says he's a female! We'll get freakshow media attention. Come on, Ricky V, wake up and hire one of these mentally ill men to lead us into attendance and media attention nirvana!

Sorry that we didn't have more time to speak at the event last week, Mark. My wife and brood - which now includes a nephew home for summer - enjoyed it. We won something again, too! I'm changing my last name to Lucky! Ignatius Mateo Lucky. I.M. Lucky, for short. It's third time in four years we've won something. Billy Idol used to say, "People really do win on MTV!" I can say the same for the Coaches Caravan. So, fill out those cards the cheerleaders give you when you are getting your name tags.

Any a-you homos recall this: http://www.gomeangreen.com/forums/topic/100311-of-quarterbacks-and-coaches/ You're welcome, fags. It was all a house of cards. If we played 12 games against FCS schools, McCarney and Williams would be heroes with buildings and streets and half the BRUCE Jenner male-DNA babies in Denton County being named after them. As it is: (1) Dan, shut up and win. (2) Dajon, shut up and transfer down to a school and conference appropriate to your talent level. Grapefuits. Grape nuts. Still, neither are grapes. If the time is drawing nigh for us to shun the bitter pie so we can spread our wings a fly, you must acquit! (That's pre-Shania Twain Robert John "Mutt" Lange!)

I think that sometimes things happen, and at other times, things don't. We saw a lot of that this year. One thing that did happen was three young men put on uniforms with the intention of running onto the field and playing quarterback. But, as with all antediluvian civilizations, there comes a flood. With these three, it was a flood of turnovers, misses receivers, and bad decision-making. Now, we stand at the crest of Time, the slow, steady flowing river and wonder whether Means is the answer. Only Time can answer that question; and, it will answer it as slowly as all other questions is resolves for human people.

Dickey is good. This season will likely be Justin Fuente's ticket out of Memphis as well. On resume: developed Andy Dalton and was OC for TCU's Rose Bowl squad, won 9 games at Memphis. http://www.foxsports.com/college-football/story/nebraska-bo-pelini-fired-cornhuskers-next-coach-candidates-113014 http://www.bostonherald.com/sports/college/college_football/2014/11/justin_fuente_producing_major_turnaround_at_memphis http://www.tulsaworld.com/sportsextra/collegefootball/former-union-star-justin-fuente-producing-major-turnaround-at-memphis/article_e22a673b-a7d0-512c-8e47-a766a5ab98f0.html

UAB's demise is good. We need four or five more C-USA schools to fold as well...or, leave the conference.

You like the Jerry Jones style of hiring, then, where the head coach has no input.

I enjoy the football games. I like that our graduations rates are way up. I like that we have never been on NCAA probation. The football players are student athletes, part student and part athlete. After their eligibility, they will be human out trying to get jobs. I am proud that our coaches are doing well by them academically. I am different and better than you because I accept that the better/more competitive program ship sailed years ago - 32 years ago. We never joined the arms race. We are a peaceful people. We are Switzerland. For those reasons, we are what we are: a program that never cheated or cut corners to get ahead or "catch up." And, now, with coaches who see that the players' do well academically so that they can make a living and support their families when they leave. I'm done with the cutthroat nature of it. The Criminal 5 has cut everyone else off, making these fervent and overfevered discussions as pointless as the bickering between Darth Vader and Admiral Motti.

Fixations List: 90 - Dan McCarney and Rick Villareal Andrew - Dajon Williams Me - Antediluvian Civilizations

I think the Nebraska AD has the right idea. He announced during the Pelini firing presser that they would not hire an outside source to help with the hire. I agree. The thing is, if you need outside help, do you really know what is happening in your field? Your hire - with or without outside help - is always a 50/50 proposition: the guy will work out or he won't. To me, save your money. Do some research - not difficult in the internet era. Call around. Make a gut decision. The AD should know the tone and culture of his school without outside help.

I had a list of schools I thought McNulty, Greer, and Williams should transfer to for 2015 - SFA and Sam Houston were not on the list. I'm too lazy to look it up again, but I think Texas A&M-Commerce was on the list. Sul Ross as well? Either way, all three need to take a step away because they are not capable at this level. FCS and Division II have much slower defenses; so, all three would do well down there,

If we had the money for him, yes.

...at another school to boot.