TheTastyGreek

Wouldn't Corby also be quoting Cedric the Entertainer? Does anyone on the Hardline make jokes about not calling another man "Delicious", dawg?

A piping hot, right-to-your-door, oozing with 4 kinds of cheese leader who can make the trains run on time?

Johnny Jones could dress in monastic robes for every home game and spend halftime throwing basketballs in my face, and I'd still love him.

Man, that must have been rough... What sort of disaster is it when you've got one D-1 win in 18 games and no competitive games halfway through your second season?

Looks to me like Jesus runs a Dickeyball offense. Perhaps we're struggling now because we've angered God?

What are the odds that someone else would do it?

He's a mighty mighty good man. /Salt N' Pepa'd

I'm calling my brother to remind him to vote.

This and the 4th and 4 field goal had me almost out of my mind. The pre-half playcalling is this same chickenshit playcall bullcrap we saw at Rice in a very similar situation. I saw a lot from the players last night that confirmed my belief that this is still a talented, capable team. But this sort of decision making just frustrates me to no end. Oh, and the 1 yard pass to Micah on a 3rd and 2. How can you throw a pass that's too short to cover TWO YARDS on a 3rd down?!? HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?? From how quickly the ball came out and Vizza's focus on Mosley, I'm pretty sure the play was designed for him to be the primary option. Argh.

Indeed. Just one more example that a coach CAN inherit a Sun Belt team (in even worse circumstances than ours) and have them believing in themselves and succeeding on the field in less than 6 years. Does Cristobal have a brother?

You never call. You never visit.

You should really stop making derogatory references about that sort of thing. Karma is a ferocious bitch.

I've mentioned this before, but I'm trying to figure out how to make a Mean Green colored battle flag version of the Greek flag to fly over our tent and make us easy to find. If anyone has any advice or guidance on the best way to make or have one made, please let me know. See you all tomorrow.

Let's take things REALLY slow. I think the remainder of this season should be dedicated to making Todd Dodge feel special again. Homemade cookies, smile-a-grams... Maybe we could all sew special patches and put them together to make him a nice quilt. People have been mildly critical just because he has demonstrated almost zero aptitude in running this team, and that's just not nice. So my prescription for this year is: Lots of hugs, and frequent field trips to Southlake to help put a smile back on that face. One other objective for this season: somehow get Dennis Kucinich elected president. Year two: Potty train coach Robert Drake. He's constantly shitting himself and the rest of the family is tired of cleaning up the mess. According to the experts, potty training can begin as early as 18 months. But, like I said, we need to focus on Dodge's self-esteem for now. Besides, remedial children may not finish potty training until 3 years, and I think we've definitely got a remedial case on our hands with Mr. Drake. I'm not a parent, but there are a lot of helpful guides online that we can consult during the offseason. Year three: At last, our head coach is basking in the glow of consistent warm fuzzies and our special teams coach knows how to use the toilet like a big boy. And at the same time, all those damn Dickey recruits are gone and the roster is full of Dodge's chosen boys! Assuming everyone isn't suspended by the NCAA, the roster should consist of 40-45 wide receivers and the occasional armed robber. The table is set for success! Let's go out there and get a win! And if we managed to get Kucinich elected back in 2008, we should have a shot at one. Kucinich, you'll recall, is the most dovish major party presidential candidate in recent history. He's advocated a halt on weapons development, the creation of a "Department of Peace", and as a general rule disapproves of armed conflict. Remember that in 2010, we're scheduled to play Army! Even if Kucinich hasn't cut funding for the school entirely, we can reasonably expect that the school and team will be very weakened and demoralized. It should be a catfight, but Dodge and company might just have what it takes to beat a hapless Army team in this hypothetical 2010 game. Year four: We got a win! We got a win! Now it's time to build on that momentum. By this point, the stands at our stadium should be completely empty and the media will have totally abandoned all coverage of North Texas football. Perfect conditions for the next phase of my plan... With no witnesses around, at each home game we take the opposing team hostage and force them to forfeit at gunpoint. If they resist, round up some of the tumbleweed blowing through the field and build a pyre. Tie the opposing head coach to a stake and threaten to burn him like a witch. If he won't agree to the ruse, we may have to actually kill some people... But these are the sacrifices it will take to get us to the next level. Human sacrifices. Anyway... We shouldn't have to murder more than one or two members of the first team's coaching staff before people realize how serious we are about success at the D-1 level. The forfeits should come fast and easy, and now we've got a 5-7 record! That's almost bowl eligible! Year five and beyond requires Dodge to actually beat other teams on the field, and right now I have no clue how that's going to happen. But this model for success should get us through to 2012. Hopefully by then, we'll have come up with the next 5 year plan.

Thank goodness we have him (or the AP wire equivalent) covering the Mean Green. I smell a Pulitzer!! (Oh, wait... I just stepped in something. That must be what I was smelling.)

Usually, the rival professors send them to us along with the article submissions. Sometimes, though, a departmental secretary will send the picture a few days later.

A very interesting question. I haven't yet been masochistic enough to look, though I did spend a little over an hour finding every letterman from 1998 in the North Texas media guide for the next time someone says that Dickey left Dodge with the most depleted roster in NT history.

I'm going to have to insist that you start using some profanity immediately. And make some crude sexual comments about our mothers. Because a rival fan coming to our board to try and cheer us up about our team is so depressing, I can't even handle it. So please, start being a jackass. No more friendly banter and politeness.

Tell him Tina sends her love, and we're wishing him the best next season. He never calls or writes anymore since he went off to college.

Very nice. But I think that the Playbook Pants maneuver only works if the TV cameras get you confused with Kenny Evans. The real Kenny Evans, not Fake Lonnie.

Fixed that for ya.

I'll see you there.

Ditto and agree.

With one of those wins coming by 1 point against a 1-AA team in a come from behind rally at home.

Careful... Quoner might bow up and want to fight if he thinks you're insulting him.